Committed

 I started reading a book about compulsive eating this week.  Its not a book so much as its a workbook.  Books that require work don’t usually hold my interest but I continue to buy them for some reason!  So far the focus seems to be more on how I handle uncomfortable emotions than what I put in my mouth.  I did a “pre-assessment” and, for the most part, I get pretty wrecked by the simplest emotions.  That would explain a lot!!  I’ll keep you all posted as I go along and make progress with this book. 

This week’s food journal, in reverse order.  It was a very tough week after falling ill on Tuesday night.  I weighed in at 198.6, which is a net loss of 0.40 pounds.  I would have expected more weight loss after a week like this, but I am not going to focus on that.  I’m just glad for any weight loss and even gladder (is that a word?) that I’m feeling back to normal after being so sick. 

Saturday:   Back to normal (and then some!)

Breakfast:  Cereal w/ soy milk & 2 soy lattes
Lunch:  Panera - asian chicken salad, black bean soup, and whole grain baguette.  I also ate half of my husband’s regular white bread baguette. 
Dinner:  blueberry bagel w/ butter
Dessert:  bowl of cereal w/ soy milk

Friday:  My appetite started to come back, but once again my eyes were bigger than my stomach could handle.  I definitely got a sweet tooth (PMS I later figured out) and I was so hungry from 3 days of eating lite that I just let myself have whatever I could stomach (which led to snacking on chocolate by day, and overeating by night). 

Breakfast:  1 soy latte, 1 nonfat latte, a few bites of cereal w/ soy milk 
Lunch:  TJs Minestrone soup, a few mini reeces cups
Snacks:  a bite of a granola bar, a small bag of graham crackers, and a few more mini reeces cups
Dinner:  Started out with white rice with vinaigrette, and I was able to eat that and still be hungry so I graduated to a blueberry bagel with butter.  My appetite was really starting to come back so I eventually ate some leftover lasagna but that was a mistake and my stomach hurt for hours because of it. 

Thursday:

I felt well enough to go to work today.  I was able to drink my 2 daily lattes without much of a problem.  It was a good sign that made me hopeful!  I was super hungry.  But each time I tried to eat food it felt like iron gates were closing in my esophagus.  I was able to eat some dry cereal, a few bites of lasagna, and some bread.   I suppose this is one way to lose weight…..

Wednesday:

Food poisoning?  Stomach flu?  Not sure, but it came on Tuesday after dinner.  I had one of the worst nights of my life.  Wednesday was not much better:  chills, sweats, muscle pains….

 Wednesday I choked down what I could.   Tried to drink some coffee in the morning.  Had some toast midday.  I ate some dry cereal in the evening.  By bedtime I was starving so I had a bagel.  Its probably been 8-9 months since I ate a bagel.  I ate it fast - it tasted good and was a totally awesome “comfort food” experience.  But the satisfaction was short lived and was immediately followed by really bad indigestion. 

Tuesday:

Breakfast:  Nonfat latte and cereal with soy milk
Mid-morning snack:  nonfat latte
Lunch:  Tuna sandwich and strawberries
Dinner:  Leftover chicken & rice 

Monday:

Breakfast:  Organic flakes cereal w/ soy milk & soy latte
Lunch:  nonfat latte,  deli salad & strawberries
Snacks:  2 bags of south beach crackers and 2 peices of string cheese
Dinner:  too much (!) moroccan chicken with rice

Sunday:

Breakfast:  shredded wheat cereal w/ soy milk & 2 soy lattes
Lunch:  Panera strawberry & chicken poppyseed salad w/ half tuna sandwich and a whole wheat baguette
Snack:  tortilla chips with cottage cheese & salsa
Dinner:  Vegetarian chili w/ brown rice, mozzarella cheese, and sour cream
Dessert:  bowl of cereal w/ soy milk