My bad eating habits are rooted in a genetic predisposition –coupled to an upbringing that made me want– to overeat –my drug of choice– and to some emotions that make me feel so bad that I run to the fridge for comfort. Those emotions are generally frustration and loneliness. I have very demanding parents who never seem to appreciate my achievements, I have extremely difficult co-workers who are ready to point out every mistake or weakeness I may be guilty of, and I have been divorced for ten years, without a couple since then.
So, loneliness is long, frustration usual.
I have been finding ways to fight both. As to loneliness, I am trying to enjoy it. I used to complain that I could not go out because I didn¿t have a date and myy friends are not always available, but last Sunday I decided to go to a concert on my own. That was a first! I loved the experience, did not feel lonely at all, and sort of enjoyed the possibility of being the “mysterious lady in the crowd”. This evening I will hit the movies on my own too, to watch a Portuguese movie.
As to frustration at the workplace, I am slowly taking leadership positions and my difficult co-worker starts to agree with my proposals. I need to get her respect to feel better, because I really respect and admire her, but in hierarchy I am above her… Difficult!
As to academic frustration, I suppose we need to get used to it, working at university. It is a very demanding place, where you need to study a lot for your work to be acknowledged. Getting used to it too!
I am confident that these new behavious will make me feel better… Reporting soon!