Is this time different?

In maintenance since June 1, 2012

 

So long no post! And winter is here!

During the summer –in the southern hemisphere– I wondered all the time what would happen with my eating when the cold weather arrived. Though in the hot weather I could eat well and even learned how not to binge –I know I will always be a binger, anyway–, I feared the moment when the nippy air would make me need to eat. As in the past I always put on weight during winter, I thought that it was the cold weather that made me eat more calories, and that putting on weight as a consequence was unavoidable. Well, I am getting to see that is not so. Nippy air and all, I am not more hungry than I was in the summer, and though I do eat more hot food than before, that food does not need to be high calorie food. Yesterday I ate out and I ordered a spinach and egg sandwitch –it was not wow, but it was ok–, and then I made vegetable soup and have been drinking that… So, one more discovery: it is possible to be in control when it is cold too.

I am not losing any weight, though. My ticker is still at 54, but I gained a little –for no apparent reason– and have been stuck at 55 during April. I do look thinner, though, so I do not worry. If I can keep eating healthy all through the winter, that will be a huge achievement for me. This weight is fine, though 52 would be better –I am very short–, and maybe the weight will fall slowly if I keep at it… That does not seem to matter that much now. What I do care for is control and health. The peace I get out of eating like a normal person is invaluable, having been a binger since times immemorial.

Hope you are all doing great!

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By susana
On April 27, 2012
At 7:03 am
Comments : 0
 
 

On good health and a good life

I have gotten so used to eating right and not bingeing that I think I have really changed a lot of habits. Even my family see me differenty: yesterday evening they ordered takeout for me –I arrive home very late in the evening– and they ordered a vegetable omelette rather than the meals I used to order. I am not losing weight –I lost two pounds in March, and nothing else so far–, my clothes fit better and I am now wearing pants I stopped wearing in 2006.

I know I could be doing more: I could be exercising more, eating more fruit, lots of things. And what makes this more evident and at the same time puzzling to me is that people I know who always did a lot for their health –the right weight, yoga, etc.– are getting sick because of viruses or strange diseases… I really don’t know to what extent we can control our health. A bit disoriented here… A taste of mortality, maybe. So, what can we do to live well, not to get sick? Is it that we do all we can and then God, nature, chance or whatever you believe in does the rest?

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By susana
On April 19, 2012
At 4:26 am
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Back to basics

I have not blogged for quite a while, but am back with new energy and some lessons to share.

These past days I concentrated on keeping myself under control, which as a binger is a major concern to me, and went slowly back to bad habits: I stopped eating vegetables and fruit, and started finding it hard to keep to my 1200 cals limit. I did not put on weight –and did not lose either–, but went hungry most of the time and found it harder to not overeat.

So, back to basics today: the basis of a good food plan is a good pantry, right? So, back to buying tomatoes, fruit, lean meat… Leaf vegetables are incredibly expensive here these days, so I won’t buy any till they go down again, buy will make soup soon to fight the Fall chill.

The lesson I learned and which I would like to share is that we are never cured. I may lose the weight, I may get compliments about how I look –finally!–, but I am wired in a special way: my wiring will call for bad food and for little physical activity, so if I don’t police myself, I will go back to my old ways in no time.

My objective is to keep binge-free and to go on losing, no matter how slowly, till I reach 52, and then maintain for the rest of the year. It is a huge challenge for me, maybe the greatest challenge I faced ever, so I am quite pleased with myself at having finally tackled the weight/food issue and achieved some results.

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By susana
On April 15, 2012
At 9:41 am
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On to new challenges?

The food is OK, weight loss is happening slowly but safely, I haven’t binged for more than three months now –unbelievable!–, I am not much attracted to junk food. Now and then I feel the desire to eat comfort food, but instead of depriving myself of anything I take a very small portion and move on. So, apart from continuing along that path, I cannot do much but wait, right?
So, on to new challenges: physical activity. My town is so hot in the summer that just surviving here is physically challenging enough –more than 100° for days and days…–. Now that fall is here, the weather is really amazing, mild and drier, with blue skies and light breezes. I plan to go walking often and to learn to jog. I have been reading about chi running, which makes a lot of sense to me.
But a new habit means a lot of changes. For some reason I did not build that habit before, so in order to really build it I have to understand why I have not developed a liking for walking, running or weight lifting. I think this has to do with my workaholism… I have to work all day to prove something to someone (?), so I suppose I have to understand that behaviour to know more about myself and see why I chose to work my a– off working and not jogging ;-)
I’ll tell you what I discover! I’ll think about this while walking!

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By susana
On April 3, 2012
At 3:48 am
Comments : 0
 
 

Scale day


I waited till I saw this new weight on three occasions before publishing the weight loss, because I usually go up and down some days before the new weight stabilizes. Apparently the plateau is over! It seems that what made the trick was eliminating wheat… My goal now is lose another kilo during April, just that. Slow and steady… You know.

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By susana
On April 1, 2012
At 9:47 am
Comments : 0