I don’t have much to tell, but anyway I want to remain accountable and here I am, after some days of not posting. I have been thinking that it is so much better to be older –at least as far as eating is concerned.
I have not lost more weight, but I have learned to be very patient with the scale. Last time I plateaued it took me a month to lose again, so I go for my second month… I learned to think in terms of months and not of weeks. When I was younger I used to think “I want to lose six pounds next week”, and now I say “I want to lose two pounds next month”. When I was younger I always regained what I lost and could not stay on track for more than two weeks –most of the times I started on Monday and quit on Thursday. Now I can proudly say I have been on track for three months, not bingeing once, not feeling deprived or anything. If I ate something “forbidden” one day, I just moved on, went back on plan immediately after the slip, and kept going. That is my victory… It is not weight related –seven kilos in three months is not that bad, though– but life related: now I know I can eat and stop when I am not hungry any longer, that I can go without food for some hours if my options are not healthy –I can wait till I get home, I mean–, that I will feel fine if I have to speak in front of a lot of people, that I am able to finally do the most difficult thing I ever had to do: eat well.
So, it is better to be older, sometimes. You find your balance, you know what makes you tick and what makes you sad, you know where you are heading. You learn to think about today, just today: make the most of the day, be the best you can today, do good to others today. Live as there’s no tomorrow, but staying healthy and not asking food to do for you what you should find somewhere else. It is not good entertainment, it does not do the difficult tasks you are postponing, it does not give you the love you need. It just feeds you.
We need to find affection, to have fun and to obtain our little achievements. We all need that. But food is not the answer…