Is this time different?

In maintenance since June 1, 2012


On track

I haven’t posted anything for a while, mainly because as I am back from the holidays I am working 24/7 as usual. I have some good news I would like to share:

– I haven’t binged for 8 weeks, which is a LOT for somebody who thought she was abnormal –I didn’t know many people also ate huge amounts in secret. This is good, because one of my objectives is to learn to be in control around food. I have two St. Valentine chocolates in the fridge which I am not touching… Although I am back at work, I don’t feel the need to eat a lot before going to the office.

– The allergies I developed, which I first attributed to food and then to stress, are going away. Once I discovered I itched like crazy when thinking about my job, I started to relax when it started to itch and it is slowly working. Now I am writing about this my arms are starting to itch, but I just let them itch without scratching, which makes it worse… Undoubtedly the stress I worked out via food is trying to find a new outlet!

– I haven’t lost any weight in the past week, but I haven’t gained either. Just giving the scale time to get convinced. This is good, because now I know that if I don’t lose but stay stable, the new weight is “setting in” and my body is getting used to it, getting ready for more loss. I prefer staying stable to bouncing.

– Nobody has noticed -or said anything about- my weight loss. I lost 10 % of my weight, but apparently that doesn’t show. This is good, because I would feel embarrased if people gossiped about my weight. Maybe they are gossiping, but fortunately they are not making any comments in front of me. Shy, ha?

– Foodwise, it’s the usual 1200 cals and no refined carbs. Working slowly, but working. Exercisewise, not doing much yet apart from walking, but as soon as I find the possibility of scheduling time at the gym, I will. I need to by clothes for the gym, which makes me a bit nervous. I bought the running shoes, but nothing else yet. I feel really self-conscious in training gear… Very shy, ha?

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By susana
On February 26, 2012
At 11:18 am
Comments : 0

Experienced dieter bouncing!

Well, some weeks ago I would have freaked out, but now that I learned a little about my body I know it is ok: after I lost that kilo, I put it on again! But my measures are still down, so I know I will go down again in a couple of days. It seems that I always “bounce” a little after losing, and then I lose again what I had lost before, and a little more. Seeing things in perspective, the pound up or the pound down do not seem important: what matters to me is to keep on plan and to eat healthy. Losing slowly is far better than quickly for a lot of reasons:

a- Folklore says the more slowly you lose the more slowly you put on weight if you regain it –which we won’t.

b- People don’t notice your loss that much, at least people who see you every day. This may trick them into believing that you were always thin and fit…

c- You body image –the idea you have of your body, that is– changes slowly too, so your thinner body still feels your own and not somebody else’s. You won’t get scared when a thin lady looks at you from the mirror.

d- The new clothes you have to buy will be on sale by the time you need them. Or, if you started dieting at the wrong time, they will be the new season’s clothes, and you will want to wear your nightie everywhere –which will result in a lot of dating.

e- If you lose slowly you may even forget you are on a diet and start it over every week, which makes your dieting shorter.

f- Your skin adjusts better to your new shape, or not.

g- You learn to be patient, which will make of you a better person, or a very slow one.

So, people, don’t worry about bouncing. Today, I don’t. If I continue putting on weight after today, probably I will change my theory and strive for quick losing.

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By susana
On February 21, 2012
At 6:28 am
Comments : 0

And another kilo less!

I thought I would take much longer, but I have lost another kilo! I was quite surprised to see that, since as I weighed in along the week (during my TOM) I was losing nothing. Good, right?

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By susana
On February 17, 2012
At 4:11 am
Comments : 2

And it’s not allergies, at all.

So my skin started to itch badly without having rashes or anything. As I live in a tropical area I thought mosquitoes were to blame, but no, no mosquito bites either. So I said it’s the tomatoes, and stopped eating tomatoes. Itch itch. It’s the dairy products, no more yogurt, itch itch! Ten days like that, eating less and less, till I started to build another hypothesis.

I went back to work two weeks ago, and by then I feared I would start binging right away, as I did last year. I was surprised to discover I did not feel like overeating at all, to the point that my food plan gets easier and easier as time goes by. I can even eat some chocolate now and then without eating more than a bite, something I never thought I would be able to do. So after the itch tormented me for some days I started to wonder where all my stress was going… My co-workers are really tough to work with, so how come this year I WAS able to cope with their sh-t and last year I couldn’t and I needed to binge before going to work?

I think my body is expressing stress in this itching. I don’t feel it in the morning, but by the time I leave for the office I start scratching like crazy. Do you think this is possible? It would explain a lot! I don’t take any medication for anxiety, I don’t smoke, I don’t have a date –I am thinking of all the ways you may vent, don’t laugh–, I am not doing much exercise –it’s so hot outside you can’t go walking later than 6am, because you can’t catch enough air–, so I think maybe stress has made my skin super sensitive and I get these “allergies” as a consequence.

If they persist, I will check with the doctor, I swear. But how else would you explain that I don’t feel the need to eat carbs even though I am putting up with a lot?

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By susana
On February 16, 2012
At 6:51 pm
Comments : 2

And now allergies? What the…!

To the Zumba Video Fiasco I have to add (a) a four-day constipation and (b) food allergies.

(a) There is no veggie yet created, no breakfast poop cereal nor colonic massage that would help, so I had to resort to the dear old laxative in a bottle to see if I can go potty. I am in a hurry to, because this could be contributing to (b)

(b) As from last Thursday more or less I have been itching like crazy: hands, neck, legs, eyelids! I swear I shower, and with the usual soap! I am eating a lot of tomatoes, so I think it could be an allergy –I have a “sleeping” allergy which broke out more than ten years ago and then “went to sleep” again–, but apart from keeping me up all night –precisely, insomnia, me!– scratching and swearing, today it grew worse after I ate my yogurt, so it could be an allergy to dairy too. Today I will fast until the itching goes away and then I will slowly incorporate “safe” food –chicken, apples, lettuce, potatoes– and then the “unsafe” foods –tomatoes, oranges, milk, chocolate–. I WILL discover where this comes from.

So, imagine: with a raging sleeping disorder, zumba-impaired, poop-deficient and itching all over… but five kilos lighter! LOL

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By susana
On February 13, 2012
At 6:42 am
Comments : 0

Oh how ridiculous can I get?

I have been reading about all the physical activity that most of you carry out, and me without even a pair of running shoes in my closet! My “movement” is generally walking, and I wear sandals or shoes! So after a lot of thought I decided I could go the extra mile: I have already managed to eat within the limit of the 1200 cals, I have no cravings any longer, I have not binged for six weeks, so what is my next challenge? Zumba. Here in Latin America we call it “Ritmos Latinos”. There are many gyms and dance studios which offer lessons. I found one about two miles from home, and decided I would start in April. Why April? Because I wanted to get fitter before starting –too many young women who are too fit and CAN remember where they have to put their feet, all around me? That is the eleventh circle of hell for me.
So I ordered some DVDs to start getting ready for the lessons. OMG. I have not been able to go past the first five minutes, because the steps are terribly difficult for me! I am still trying to learn the first movements! I started with rock steps, which I am not familiar with, so probably I will turn to Latin steps. What is your experience with this kind of cardio? Have you also discovered that dancing in flip flops may be dangerous? Am I the only clumsy, deaf hippo in town?

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By susana
On February 12, 2012
At 11:40 am
Comments :1

And… one kilo less!

Well, well… And another kilo lost! I started to lose a little more quickly when I started to count calories and carbs, and not just carbs. I also forced myself to drink my water, which is quite difficult for me to do. Good, right?

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By susana
On February 10, 2012
At 3:44 am
Comments : 0

New use for trail mix: force-feeding!

And I thought I had seen all things weird…

Until last year, whenever I opened a package of trail mix I would consume it all and think that I had contributed to my well being because it was a healthy snack and because nuts are low carb. Now that I understood that low carb works only if it is also low cal, I started to lose weight more successfully. I also understood that trail mix had a huuuge amount of calories and just stopped eating it.

One of the consequences of eating low carb + low cal is that if I don’t eat meat/chicken I don’t pack many cals, so it is quite hard to get to my 1200. I sometimes have to make an effort to get to 1100. Yesterday evening after dinner, when I revised my log and added up my numbers I got to a meagre 650. I was not hungry, but I had to acknowledge that 650 is really little. I suppose the low number was caused by the fact that I ate a lot of cabbage, tomatoes and pumpkin, yogurt and some oats: filling, lots of vitamins, but really low cal.

I then discovered that trail mix may be used to force-feed a lady who is not very hungry but needs to take extra calories without much effort… And I thought I had seen it all! Me, forcing myself 1) to eat; 2) to get to 1200; 3) to finish a package of trail mix!!

Sleep-wise, I changed my stategy: I did not force myself to turn off the light or the TV at a certain time, but finished watching a show and then did it (12.30), when I was sleepy already. As I had not slept well the night before, I had no problem going to sleep. Let’s see what happens tonight!

A little achievement: my holidays are over and I have started to work again; I have not felt stressed yet, neither have I thought of eating without being hungry. Hope it keeps this way!

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By susana
On February 9, 2012
At 6:33 am
Comments : 2

Mistakes: Miscounting and missleeping

I made so many mistakes yesterday!

Mistake I: when counting calories I computed twice the same item, and when I realized I had done that I had already finished dinner and was not hungry any longer. I had eaten only 900 cals in the day, and though I tried to eat something else to get to at least 1100, I could really not swallow another bite. So, I ate too little without intending to, and that is not good.

Mistake II: though I DID turn off BOTH TV and light at 12, I could not fall asleep for … four hours. First, it was too hot. Then, there was a mosquito which fell in love with my feet and kept visting them. Finally, a storm broke out and I had to get up to fasten the windows. All these are excuses: my mistake was not to be able to relax after work, because I kept thinking and thinking about all our projects… This led to a very restless sleep, with nightmares and all. Awful!

I changed part of my breakfast and it is not working well: I had oats instead of All Bran, and I could not eat much after that. It was too filling… I hope today I will get to the 1200 cals! Any recipe to GET HUNGRY?

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By susana
On February 8, 2012
At 11:04 am
Comments : 0

On sleep and food

My food is on check (less than 1200 cals yesterday, including a little bite of dark chocolate). I have just ordered one of my favourites, a veggie pie I generally eat complete, but I could not finish it. I am leaving 1/4 for dinner or for a snack. I felt like eating the whole thing –my tastebuds shouted that in my ears– but my stomach was full aready –and the stomach has learned to should more loudly, or I have learned to listen to the stomach and not so much to my tastebuds.

Along this journey to good health, I am concentrating on my sleep, which has been quite bad for years. Yesterday I had the following objectives: turn off the light at 12; turn off the TV at 12; read before going to sleep. I could not do all that. I did turn off the light, but listened to the TV for a half hour before turning it off; and I did not read before going to sleep. So, one out of three. But I DID turn off the light at 12! So, this evening I will try to do better, keeping the 3 objectives in mind. I think that what I dread is the combination darkness/silence when I am not that sleepy. I’ll tell you how I do!

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By susana
On February 7, 2012
At 7:45 am
Comments :1