Day 5 & busted! Did horrible today…I do have cramps due to TOM and had some bad news today so I am not beating myself up. I’m going to wake up tomorrow to a new day. I am not giving myself an excuse to do horribly this weekend and start fresh Monday. Tomorrow/tonight is a better time. For me….for me….for me! For accountability I had Frisch’s for lunch, a candy bar, chips/dip, gummy bears, and ordered pizza for dinner…..Oh the life of the obese. Not any different than the life of the alcoholic. I knew going to Frisch’s I needed to turn around and eat my veggie soup. I could have gotten a snack bag of chips if I wanted to splurge but no…my splurges I go all the way!
Posted on December 2nd, 2011 by sunray077
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This is so hard sometimes when your husband is getting on your nerves and your 4 years old is screaming…but I’m staying OP….I’m doing it for me this time, not them.
Posted on November 30th, 2011 by sunray077
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Wow…hard to believe I’ve been doing this for so long now…same sentiments, same wants….Once again (I noticed I planned the same thing this time last year…) my plan is weight watchers online and accountability. I guess I should give myself kudos for not having gained, but D*mn girl stay on track….write, write, write. My points are 29.5/day. I hope to subscribe online this Friday. I want, want, want 150 lbs. I am doing this for me. I am doing this because I hate sweating, hate being unable to properly bend over, I hate being ashamed to go places because nothing looks right. I have to remember I am not thin anymore….I still have a younger me in my mind when I think of myself. That physical appearance is no longer visible. I want her to be. She can be if I stay focused. I never imagined myself so large, if I don’t watch it, I can get larger……
Posted on November 29th, 2011 by sunray077
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Friday, March 4, 2011. Today I started out at 246.something lbs. I will never be this large again!
Posted on March 4th, 2011 by sunray077
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Still truckin on. I’ve kept this up & done pretty well for 1 week & 1 day now. I weigh myself on Mondays. 2 Mondays ago scale showed 249. Last Monday being OP for 4 days showed 246.4. Today is not a weigh day (but I can’t help myself) and it showed 242.something! Monday I’m thinking should show 241or even 240! I’m wanting to start jotting down in here what I’ve ate every day. I need to make sure I come here & post. Doing so helps me stay structured & helps me stay OP.
I read a study yesterday that said people who imagined eating something before actually eating it ate consistently less of whatever it was (M&M’s in the study) than people who didn’t imagine theirself eating it first. I am going to start doing this! Hey, every little bit helps! LOL NOTE: Do not let anyone catch you eating imaginary foods…..
I’m feeling good. Staying within my 30 points & usually not even eating whole 30. I walk 15-20 minutes on my lunch and 45-60 minutes each night. For some reason the thought that I will be let down & disappointed when I reach goal keeps going thru my head. Like once I get there what then? How will my life be any better? I’m already married so I’m not doing it to attract other men. I’m 33 years old so I’m not “young” anymore so who really expects me to be thin? I do have my reasons. It’s not easy being a fat person. I’m constantly hot & sweating. Shopping is a nightmare because NOTHING looks good. I know it isn’t healthy. I would like to look around at other people in a room at a party & know my husband has one of the hottest ladies there…..I know those reasons & I’m doing it for those reasons but for some reason that sliver of who cares keeps popping up. I know I have to get rid of it. I’m sure it is that voice which made my last attempts fail. My plan is to keep ignoring it & plugging away anyways. That is pretty much what I am doing regarding school when that same voice says How in the world are YOU going to be a nurse!!! I keep putting it on mute & doing my classes one at a time not letting myself think of actually getting there. Did the same when I quit smoking. (2 years on 1/9/11!!!) Just have to do it w/no thought to the future! I know it needs to be done so baby steps it will be! Maybe that voice is so prominent right now because when you are losing weight you (me anyways) tend to constantly picture myself thin. As I’m doing this I think & now??????
Posted on December 10th, 2010 by sunray077
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or at least I used to. On my walk tonight I was remembering how when I was younger my legs were a lot longer than they have been the last few years. They now seem to be short with my larger size? I didn’t know that happened…..I am 5′7 and I was thin. I wore size 5 and at one time I was able to fit my big hipped skinny self in my 5′3 sisters size 3 jeans. I have no desire to be that small again. I’m no longer a teenager, but man I want my long legs back! I’m determined to get them back! I took my 50 minute walk tonight in 0 degree temps! I will get them back this time! ;0)
Posted on December 6th, 2010 by sunray077
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Once again I am going down this road to hopeful weight loss. Almost 20 lbs heavier than before. But I’m not giving up on this battle without a fight. So fight I must! Doing home weight watchers this time. Plan on enrolling online. That will take a few weeks. With the holidays right here I can’t simply charge it right now. But I will! I was 248 Thursday morning. This morning registered 244 so I’m doing good right now! Staying in poins & walking 15 minutes on my lunch break and 50 minutes at home. Feeling good. Feeling hopeful!
Posted on December 4th, 2010 by sunray077
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Did great yesterday. Stayed on course w/eating & exercise.
Breakfast: 2 boiled eggs 1/2 the yellow of one, yogurt, green pepper raw cut up
Snack: serving of peanuts
Lunch: soup (bad ramen noodle), single serving chips
Snack: granola bar, tomato soup if still hungry, apple
Dinner: was supposed to be grilled chicken but I forget to take it out of freezer last night and prepare it. SO will have to stop by store & pick something up. This could be dangerous depending on how today goes. Work goes well & day passes quickly I am more likely to be successful at making a good choice. sigh. just being realistic. I’m leaning towards grilled cheese and a single serving bag of chips for everyone AND soup. Yep that’s it. Not letting myself consider anything else! NO FAST FOOD!! regardless. I will take a bike ride for 20 minutes tonight. We have a lot to do but I will get that done. Chemistry class is on Sat. so Friday nights are spent studying. BUT we are having his mom over for a BBQ tomorrow so we have to get house cleaned up tonight since I am in class all day tomorrow and he is watching DD2 yrs by himself. It’s hard to clean when you have her, well, for a man it must be anyways. Somehow I do a fine job. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a wife sometimes! LOL I am dreading this BBQ. He doesn’t care for his mom and I don’t either. His aunt adopted him when he was younger. His mom does drugs and can’t be depended on. His younger brother (16) is very slow (like he will probably need to live w/us forever when she is gone slow) and he believes he is like that because she did drugs while prego w/him. Probably. DD2 yrs calls his aunt mamaw. He calls his aunt mom. ”Real” mom has seen DD 2yrs maybe 5 times. I’m very glad we are going to a bar later to watch my cousins band play. I can start drinking early….like before they show up. 
She was in hospital earlier this year and I think he is doing this (BBQ)so he won’t have any regrets when she is gone. She is in no danger of dying soon though, so I don’t know.
Posted on May 28th, 2010 by sunray077
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I had a blizzard yesterday. We took DD to Dairy Queen after the awards were given out. I guess when it is hubs idea I think I have permission to eat whatever I want. Oh wells. The 1/2 turkey 1/2 lean ground beef sloppy joes were awesome! Virtually no difference! YAY
Breakfast: bowl of raisin bran, yogurt, and 2 boiled eggs 1/2 the egg yellow
Lunch: cabbage salad with 1000 Island dressing and single serving bag of cheetos
Snack: granola bar
Dinner: Lasangne with 1/2 lb ground turkey & 1/2 lb lean ground beef, probably a slice of garlic bread
Pretty much the same every day except for snack and dinner. Goal is NO FAST FOOD! for now and 20-30 minutes of something a day. I will be going for a walk/jog today for 20 - 30 minutes.
EDIT: I think I’m going to cut out the raisin bran. It does nothing for me and I am probably too full considering it’s only morning. I will have a granola bar between breakfast & lunch if I get hungry.
Posted on May 27th, 2010 by sunray077
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So I had crackers this morning. About 15 wheat crackers. UGH
Breakfast: bowl of raisin bran, 2 boiled eggs only 1/2 yellow, yogurt, and lovely F2#$#@ crackers
Lunch: will be cabbage salad with 1000 Island Dressing, single size serving of BBQ chips
Snack: left over from 2 days ago spaghetti 1/2 bowl
Dinner: 1 Sloppy joe made w/1/2 lb ground turkey and 1/2 lb Laura’s Lean ground beef and single size serving of chips
I’ve never tasted ground turkey before. Kinda scared. Yesterday I put together a lasagne with 1/2 lb turkey and 1/2 lb Laura’s lean ground beef for tomorrow’s supper….so HAVE to like it!! Not likely I will get any exercise today. Have to go to my daughters school tonight for her to receive an award for a 3.5 GPA all year. After that will be studying. Thought about walking on my lunch break, but it is going to be high 80’s. I’m in dress pants and a button up shirt. I sweat like a pig so probably not. I’m so blessed. Why can I not tackle this weight? What makes it so hard to put down something that tastes good? From now on before I eat a thing I am going to ask myself WWaSPD? What would a skinny person do? LOL IT worked for quitting smoking. I’d remind myself that millions of non smokers a day dealt w/ life w/ no smoking so I can too. Millions of skinny people, people in general! Go w/out stuffing theirselves daily. I can too!
Minor Edit! I will work out today. I’m going to go for a 20 minute walk/jog. 20 minutes of not studying will not break me in chemistry! I don’t have a choice!
Posted on May 26th, 2010 by sunray077
Filed under: BLEH | 2 Comments »
