slipstream becomings

the last four days i deviated from the ww points allocations. and it’s okay. it’s life. 

i did it mindfully. i was reasonable. but when i set out to do this this time it was going to be for life. and this is life. and increasingly the importance of numbers slides away as it gets easier to ride my bike and i want to go farther, as i get more efficient in the water and want to go faster, as my couch-to-5k start date approaches and i get excited about running again.

so we go. one foot in front of the other, with yesterday’s celebratory dinners delicious memories and tomorrow’s workout something to look forward to.

this is me, finding peace with the process, finding peace with myself.

namaste.

today’s swimplan was the first one to have sprints!

i am tired. and again i wrestled with myself and pushed through tired. and i swam as fast as i could, which probably wasn’t very fast but no one was timing. i was huffing!

and i totally perved the ubersexy swim guy in the lane over. i am a dirty old woman.

i also learned that this luxurious long course swim availability is due to a mechanical problem with the bulkheads. i am going to campaign vigorously to get an evening/afternoon long course swim session added, as the 6 am slot is utterly  impossible for me with the girl et al.

(and i got some writing done. i’m hiding this in brackets so as not to curse it.)

i am starting to see how i could live everyday with fewer ww points, where i could swap out certain things, where i need a boost and most importantly, what happens when i don’t eat when i need to.

CRANKASAURUS!

now if i could just sort out how to wake up happy at about 6:30am….

is it possible to see changes after just a couple of days?

last night after i got the girl to bed i settled down with a book and two homey made chocolate chip cookies. they were almost sickeningly sweet, and i swear i could eat almost a dozen all to myself just a week ago.

i have been trying to cut out the raw sugars everywhere - so i dropped the scoop in my coffee. traded peanut butter on breakfast pita for cereal, milk and fruit at breakfast. dropped the sugar on top of the grapefruit yesterday. i have also made an effort to reduce the processed flour.

is it really possible that such a short amount of time would change my sense for sweet stuff? really?

i have noticed that i my plan doesn’t include a whole lot of carbs, and that the only thing keeping me really “full” is gulping water. i don’t think this is sustainable, and that which is not sustainable leads to bingeing. so that’s a little scarey.

though i have not been on ww for three weeks, i have been calculating my activity points. on my spreadsheet  have two totals: one using the ap, and one not using them. the flex points are okay, but i have no idea how i will reduce the daily point allotment in the future. i guess it’s a good thing i have some time to go before i’ll drop down a category!

my swimplan workout today asks for a 600m uninterrupted swim. i’m really not sure i can do that, but we’ll find out soon.

one step in front of the other. slowly slowly this will become habit. i’m still riding on being excited, and it’s amazing to me how even the most nascent beginning has made me ease up on the self loathing. i’m going to hold on to these successes, and string them together like pearls. yesterday i battled a fierce craving for starbucks, and won, but i think i’ll plan for an earl grey tea misto or two next week. it’s a hella lot of points for a drink though….and i’m curious to see how i react to the syrup. the sugar free version is a zero point affair, but it also tastes like the asstitute it is. and i don’t want to get used to artificial foods because one of my goals is to move towards a whole/slow food kind of diet.

i like feeling better.

i was so tired of feeling so low down.

i hope your journey is going well too!

and i hope today i can make comments on your blogs. i kept getting a weird error message yesterday.