slipstream becomings

it was weight day in clock world today, and i’ve been really thinking about this body image/visualization problem i invented.

today i really looked at myself in the many mirrors that are stationed around the gym as i moved through the stations of my workout.

whatever the number on the scale is, i think i have a better idea of what i want to look like. 

the fat has deposited itself at the top half of my thighs in different ways on my right and left legs. i want the inner curve of my thighs to be much more symmetrical. i might also invest in some plastic surgery to correct a subdermal hematoma scar on my left leg. vanity might out on that one.

my belly will be like a very small loaf of bread, round and warm. it won’t hang over anymore. more importantly, my abdominal muscles will be rock hard underneath and will hold me in a gorgeous, powerful posture.

when i stand with legs shoulder width apart, my arms will rest at my sides. the will not have to contend with the overbearing presence of my hips.

my hourglass figure will be closer to symmetrical at top and bottom.

my arms will be strong and leaner, with distinct muscle definition. gone will be the bow shape of my forearm and the overhang in my upper arm. they will be shapely and strong.

there will be visible muscle definition in my thighs, and my calves will be strong and taut.

my face will thin out just a bit, and hopefully my terrible double chin will tighten up, though i suspect that genetics will trump me here.

i won’t be nearly as w.i.d.e. man, am i wide.

so i still don’t have a super clear picture of what the whole package will look like, but i have a better sense today of what i’m striving for. i’m going to call that progress.

and i caught myself in the rear view mirror this afternoon and realized, not for the first time but for the first time in a while, that i am terribly pretty. and the voice in my head chose not argue. for today.

a successful day. string it with the other pearls.