slipstream becomings

good:

i am planning and journalling food again

i think my cold is gone

i am in love with all the local greens and delicious things coming out of the ground around me

the girl and i had a fabulous weekend

better:

i am 18 pounds less than i was when i started

i love moving. i have achieved the goal of craving movement

i am looking forward to writing, once i finish reading some more

flip turns are back!

there is a lightning storm happening right now that is fabulous

best:

i can see real change

i haven’t felt despair in weeks

i am full of gratitude. i try to remember with every breath

i am starting to believe i deserve love. success. happiness.

that’s the best part. oh, how i want to hold on to how i feel now. i never ever want to feel as badly as i have for the last two years. never ever again. please please please.

i inserted the earphones dry, with the extra small caps on them and they more or less stayed in! it made a world of differenc eto my workout to have tunes to push me through the tough bits.

so i think i’ll keep the gizmo after all.

i also think this cold has finally relented. i did flip turns today (and crappitycrapcrap the bulkheads ae fixed and we’re swimming short course) but i didn’t cough or snot TOO much. a little. and i’m still stuffy in the morning, but i figure it’s on it’s way out. what a bastard rotovirus that was!

i’ve been a little more lax with the sugar treats and am now suffering craves for terribly good but awfully bad yummy things. so i guess i need to step right back. i’m not ready for moderation if it’s going to spark those kinds of physical cravings. they are icky.

i got the doctor to weight me today. 233. so i probably didn’t weigh in properly. now i know. and it’s fine. 

we also talked about meds and stuff. i told her i am actually feeling 100000x better. she said it makes perfect sense that 5 weeks in i would be experiencing the benefits of exercise. she recommends vitamin d and a grow light when the hours of daylight start to fade. amazing. and PHEW.

really.

this road is long. i’m travelling on it.

and i’m almost done shelley. no really. i am.