slipstream becomings

this cold is on it’s way out, but it’s still haunting me.

and i am fighting a rather terrible battle with depression, almost scaring myself a lot of the time.

so i’ll go to the doctor tomorrow and get a thyroid screen and some other tests, as many as i can, and then we’ll see. if i don’t start feeling better soon i’m going to have to get some pharmaceutical help i think. we’re going on almost two years, and it has to be over. soon.

i cut 300m out of my workout today, partly because of time and partly because i just feel like shit. no flip turns, and i couldn’t find a rhythm. and i was coughing during rest and the pool was crowded and i was late….i still swam for an hour, logging 2200m, but it wasn’t quite a victory.

on the good side of self- care today i got some summer clothes and some very badly needed new bras.

tomorrow will be a better day. it has to be.

that about sums up how i feel today. 

i’m making chicken noodle soup (no noodles) and eating sourdough bread and going back to bed.

(i might sneak in 45 minutes of yoga -the new dvd arrived! but i feel truly awful, so we’ll see. i think bed would be smarter.)