I’m sitting here tonight just thinking… a year ago I’d be sitting amid tastykake and candy bar wrappers and the ruins of another diet, feeling completely lost. Feeling like a total failure, again. That was such a tiring process. Now? Now… well… I’m listening to slow music and looking forward to a long awaited visit [...]

I went to the doctor last week and found ou I have a raging kidney infection… he wanted to put me in the hospital, but after many promises of staying off my feet and that I’d go to the ER if things got worse, he let me go home. He gave me a double strength antibiotic. [...]

I think I mentioned before that my sister basically stopped speaking to me as soon as I got smaller than she is. Makes it hard when you live in the same house, but there’s just nothing I can do about it. Now she’s added that she will not eat in front of me either. As [...]

So I had my therapy appointment today and got a few things out in the open and feel a bit better. My therapist is very good and I found out from my new surgeon’s office that she’s the person they send all the people to who have eating disorders. That’s a happy coincidence! I no [...]

Today was a terribly bad food day forme… I just finally had to force myself to eat something. I went out to eat last night and ended up sick as a dog! And it lasted all day today… finally I decided that I’d better eat something to see if that made me feel better– and [...]

I am absolutely and completely emotionally exhausted tonight… between hormones and this depression, it’s just really something. I picked up and started the Lexapro tonight so we’ll see how that works.
It would truly help if I had more positive people in my life… at the moment I only have one and I don’t know what [...]

I’m feeling  a little lost today… I’m wondering if the rapid weightloss has my hormones in a tizzy. Or if it’s just depression, or both. It doesn’t help that my husband is very low right now too.. This 2 years apart has been a bit much… and he’s ready to be home. I can’t wait [...]

 
  
 
I don’t see a difference in these two pictures, but here they are… the first one was taken before surgery… the second one is 3 months after surgery.

So today I’m having a bit of a better day. I got to talk to my husband this morning and that was just lovely… we’re talking about our trip to Niagara Falls that we’ll be taking this summer. I cannot wait! I haven’t gotten to see my husband in 2 years because of an immigrations [...]

Yesterday was a really bad eating day for me. I know it was actually very emotional– it was an anniversary and I didn’t get to talk to my husband. So I made really bad food choices. I really need to reign that in before this whole honeymoon period is over! My therapist will not be [...]