today sucked, but i did not binge

so i found out today that a fren passed away over the weekend. a fren i have a somewhat intimate history with. one of my favorites. i was feeling a bit sad, a bit weird the whole day. 

also, talking to B today pissed me off a bit. we’re going on a trip this weekend with his family. and he suggests i bring a book to read while he goes snowboarding since i wont be. sometimes i think his choice of words is bullshit. he’s an interesting person. let’s just leave it at that. so needless to say, i was a bit offended, i guess is the right word to use. sometimes he’s more of a fren, than a bf. but such is life. i just try to keep it in perspective and not let it bring me down. it is what it is. 

so for whatever reasons, today was just not my day. and yesterday was a bit rough. i may have possibly done some overeating. ok i totally did. and saturday night, i may have possibly drank a pitcher of beer. 

but today i did level 3 of 30ds. a-ma-zing. seriously. i loved it. supa hard. i was definitely sweating. alot. i also walked outside between 3-4 miles. 

and, later, after talking about my dead fren, and talking to B. and being all heated and frustrated and angry, and all i wanted to do was eat alot. i didn’t! i didn’t. i took control of my actions. and honestly. it feels fucking great. why can’t i always remember to do this. taking control and not bingeing feels so much more amazing than bingeing ever does. 

i feel good. and tomorrow. maybe i’ll walk even longer. i have lots of free time tomorrow. i think i might like to walk a few hours. just to do it, ya know. 

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