Having been severely depressed, I think I’m finally back to just-below normal.  I struggle with ‘major depression’, and when that happens I usually am out of touch with everyone, because I can’t believe that anyone would want to talk to me, be around me, know me, etc..  Not fun.  Anyways, this past bout with depression I gained about 15 lbs which will be tough to lose, but I believe in myself and that I can lose the weight.  I’ve done it before (this is my second all-time heaviest weight), and I think that getting down in mass will help me feel more pleased with myself.  Furthermore, the exercise it’s going to take to shed this baggage will surely help my mood as well, releasing endorphins and so forth.

I titled this entry 28 days because I think that I can make a major dent in my accumulated mass in the next 28 days.  That’s 4 weeks, and if I don’t lose all 15, I know I can lose at least 10 of it.  Anyways, I thought it would help to have a due date to this assignment, as it were, so that’s why I named this entry thus.

Okay, the show’s finally over!  Hooray!  Sigh.  However, I’m no longer doing well in the weight department, and I can’t tell if it’s just that I feel all bloated or if I actually have put on tons of weight during the run of the show…?  Fie.  So I think I’ll do a quick detox to cleanse my system, I’m feeling so funky, and I don’t know…I kind of feel like I have a new lease on life or something!  I like the fact that I’m done with the show, it was a lot of work, and I’m pleased it was a great experience, and I’m pleased it’s over!  Smile.  I got a lot of positive feedback from friends, fellow students, and teachers…but I discovered today that my old bio was used in the program, and my teacher hadn’t been pleased with that bio, so I expect I’ll be hearing about that in lesson tomorrow.

I do feel better now.  Earlier today, more recently after the show, I had a horrible headache, but I think it was just for lack of caffene (so I’m not sure how my detox will go!).  Yawn!

Oh, Pook, Soul Music!  Do you remember that Death was all pensive when he said that?  Why was he pensive?  Because of Ysabel and Mort, of course!  Sigh.  Ooh, do tell me how swimming went, though, okay?

Happy to be back!

I haven’t been blogging lately because I’m into the final few weeks of rehearsals for the show I’m in.  There’re orchestral rehearsals, my regular classes, evening staging rehearsals, fitting in costume times, doing research for the music I want to work on for my next recital…I almost have to fight for time to sleep!  Of course, during rehearsals I’m not being used for a fair bit of time, so it’s hurry-up-and-wait, and I’ll do liesure activities like knitting or reading when I’m not onstage.  It’s not bad, but the last few weeks before an opera are always crazy.

I’ve been doing pretty well eating-wise, and in the past 2 weeks I’ve lost 6 pounds, which I’m happy about.  It’s a good start.  I wish I had the energy to exercise, but I’m so wiped after rehearsals I usually just want to veg or sleep when I finally get home.  Sigh.  I know I could do better in the weight-loss department if I made time to exercise, though, so I think I’ll work on that as we run up to show time.

I hope everyone else out there is doing well and has a great day today!

Today I was a box pirate, well, really more of a privateer.  I borrowed Apricot’s car and went over to Asya’s house to get all the cardboard boxes that have just been sitting in her dining room since she moved in (say, a year+ ago).  The traffic and my getting lost was such that I was in the car basially from 9-4:45, but I did it!  It definitely looks as though she’s been looted, which was the object.  It took 3 loads (would have been a 4th, but I filled up the recycling bins at her apartment complex as well) in the back of a Prius (which has lots of space), I totally filled one dumpster and contributed to a second, and I did some dishes too!  I feel great; I love helping people I love, and I’m so pleased with my piracy!  Oh, privateering, as I was paid (in cashy money as well as a rice cooker!).  I had delicious brown rice for dinner, and it was good.

I seriously did get lost 3 separate times in different areas and on different freeways…I definitely broke some road laws along the way, and at one point during the loading of boxes I got a horrendous cardboard-paper cut.  I thought the part when I noticed that one of the apartment complex’s cats had wandered into Asya’s house and was just inspecting everything was hilarious; like it owned the area and had more than every right to be there!  I think it pushed the screen door open or something; I just looked up and saw a tiger-striped tail slowly sniffing ’round the dining room table!

I did indeed wear my pirate hat, and one of the best things about the day was that as I was in the car literally all day, I didn’t munch and eat all day long!  I had diet sodas and other beverages (by 5 I really had to potty), but I was active, not sitting all day streaming netflix, and I was again able to control my eating!  I was hungry, though, and made sure I had some fruit and let it settle before planning and cooking dinner; after not eating all day I didn’t want to gorge, you know?  Also, I had time to identify some of the mistakes I habitually make with diets, and thought about how to avoid them this time around, because I don’t want this to just be a diet, I really want to change my eating habits.  I want to be healthy for life!  A long, roisterin’, sea-swaggerin’, mess-scuttlin’, lootin’, rovin’, treasure findin’ life!  Arr!

Today was just a fair day overall, but great eating wise!  I’ve done really well and am patting myself on the back.  I did everything I needed to do today…no real workout, but I walked home which is at least 2 miles (almost 3), and I think that counts as activity.  I was showering the other day and thinking about my body, and I told it I’d be looking after it better this week.  I am pleased that my promise to myself has lasted 2 days!  Hooray!

It’s been a beautiful day up here where I live, so today I did my workout with the door and window open so there was a nice cooling breeze as I stretched my muscles.  It’s been a good day eating-wise too…I think it’s more easy for me to eat healthily during the week than during the weekends.  Nothing particularly exciting is going on for me health-wise, though I did try some Aloe Juice today, because it’s supposed to be really good for one.  I tried the smaller bottle, sweetened with honey and cane juice, and it was nice!  It tasted like kid-punch (like the stuff you used to get at church after the sermon), but with bits of aloe pulp in it (which tastes like those lychee jellies they used to sell).  Quite nice, and I laughed at the fact that I was drinking aloe this afternoon and washing with it after my workout!  It reminds me of camomile, which can be soap or tea (Pook, clean inside and out!  What’s that phrase from?).

I haven’t posted lately, but I have been thinking a great deal about health, and change.  I know that for me, being/feeling fat is wrapped up with feeling horrible (a waste of space, a waste of talent, hideous, unloveable…), and I’ve been working on feeling less awful which I think is helping keep me on the healthy side of life.  I’m working on (and it is work, changing a lifetime of self-depricating thoughts) thinking of myself as a worthwhile and decent person, and being able to say that to myself without false bravado or feeling like I’m lying to myself.  It’s going well, and I’m really pleased with that and that I’ve begun a new cycle, just like the cycle of being miserable, eating to feel better, feeling worse about eating and so on and so forth.

I’ve also found a new favourite snack food; hummus and carrots!  I love the flavors, the textures, and the fact that I can munch on them until I feel full without being attacked by guilty feelings later!  I have been trying to find specific changes to make in my eating habits, because it finally clicked for me that in order to have a real difference take place in me, I have to actually make permanent changes, not just quick fixes or anything.  I’ve known that in my head forever, but having it really click in my life is making a great difference for me (again, causing me to feel better!).

Today’s been really good, and even though I got a bit of a late start, I still did not only my Pilates DVD, but 2 miles of Walking at Home!  I had rehearsal, and then I unexpectedly went to a recital, so I’m really very proud of myself for exercising.  Furthermore, I ate well today, not only some Vega (trying to stir-mix it with coffee this morning was a mistake; it didn’t really mix [I shake it usually] and I almost choked myself!) but fruit (not just fruit juice, you know?).  When I went to Trader Joe’s I picked up some delicious Clementines that I’m leaving out on the counter so I’m constantly reminded that I have them (as opposed to the chocolate bar I hid on a shelf behind some lentil food for when I desperately need chocolate and the craving isn’t curbed by anything).

Day 2 of my current regime was great!

After a weekend of odd plumbing issues and trying to organize my music so I can try planning my next recital more easily, I’m all back on track when it comes to eating and exercising.  Hooray!  I did two exercise DVDs today, one of Whistler and Mojito’s hardcore exercise ones, and then I walked 3 miles before going to rehearsal.  I thought that the walking would loosen me up after the intense glute and thigh work I’d done with that ‘Hollywood Trainer’ DVD (Whistler found it at a garage sale ages ago), and the interesting thing was that after all that working out, it was easier to fall into my character, who is an elderly woman.  I could feel soreness and gravity more, even though it’s been Springtime sunny here, and I’ve felt energized from the working out.

Sometimes tending to one’s health isn’t all about exercise or eating right; sometimes it has to do with clearing up clutter and so forth!  Yesterday I helped Estimated clean her house for when Seiya visits (we all went out to dinner last night, Estimated, her man Timpani, Seiya and I), and just now I re-organized and cleaned out my stash and needles.  Woah, that looks odd on the page; I mean, of course, my yarn stash and my knitting needles (and a few crochet hooks I seem to have inherited in a box from DD).  I’ve been meaning to do this for quite a while now, this cleaning, culling, and re-organizing (including re-inventorying), so my mind feels happy that I’ve accomplished it all!  Cleaning up with Estimated was fun, and even though it wasn’t my space we cleaned, I liked it, and it gave me some enthusiasm for cleaning up my area.  Smile; I haven’t seen that patch of table the needles were on in AGES!