Many Goals to a Single Destination

Well, when it comes to writing these past two weeks, yes, I’ve been a total slacker. In reality, I’ve been a lunatic… working 10-12 hours a day… running out of patience and running up my blood pressure. Good gravy if I could only apply the same principles of my work ethic to my healthy living strategy, I’d be at my goal weight (whatever that is) and running a marathon and spending at least an hour a day at the gym and eating healthy home-cooked meals and, and, and… But alas, I cannot transfer those wonderful work qualities over to my real life, so trudge along, I must. (Grumble, grumble, trudge, trudge…)

So, not eating every two to three hours definitely makes a difference. Once work settles down, I should be able to get back to a more regular schedule. Think I’ll need to set alarms on my phone to go off every couple of hours to remind me for at least another week or two, then hopefully it’ll be a full-blown habit by then.

Missed both dance classes this week, so I really need to get my butt to the gym. Promises, promises….

289.7 lbs… 1.5 pounds lost.

Well, I lost, right? I had hoped, and really even expected, to have lost more weight. I don’t know why I “expected” it since I STILL haven’t gotten to the gym, but I am walking around a bit more at work (projects that have me running all over, not me being mindful of sitting all day) and walking outside of work practicing my zilling (zills are finger cymbals). I must do real exercise this week if I want to lose more than a pound and a half.

In truth, I’ve lost 13 pounds in the last 4 weeks, and that’s nothing to sneeze at, is it? (Wonder who came up with that weird expression?) I can see the difference in the way some of my clothes fit, and my stamina seems to have increased a bit. Funny, how lugging around a little less me makes a noticeable difference. If you don’t believe that, pick up something that equals the weight you lost - a 5lb bag of flour, a 10lb bag of potatoes, a 25lb bag of dog food, etc. Now, walk around the store with it for a few minutes. Kind of a big deal when you look at it that way, huh?

Now, the reality is that I know I wasn’t as good about eating every 2-3 hours this week. Work was a bear this week and I was lucky if I remembered to eat every 4 or 5 hours. Unfortunately, that carried through this past weekend, too. This week, with the exception of a transgression in the form of Chicago’s Garretts cheese and caramel popcorn that my loving mother sent to me, my plan is to get back to eating every few hours AND to get my butt to the gym.

See you next week…

291.2 pounds… another 3 lbs lost

Well, it seems that not dieting is working. I’m sure part of the success of this concept is simply cooking meals at home, instead of eating take-out on a regular basis. Actually, it’s probably most of it, since I have yet to make it to the gym to work out.

I know that restaurant foods have high sodium levels which could cause me to retain water, but I think it’s the sheer quantity of food that’s the real issue. Most of us expect to get more for our money, so restaurants tend to appease us by doing just that. I live alone, but lately, I try to eat as if I’m with company. An appetizer, plus half of an entree, is not what I’d eat if I were out with friends. We’d share an appetizer. I’d have leftovers of my entree for the following day’s lunch or dinner. When I’m eating alone at home, I can finish it all, especially if it’s really tasty.

I wish I was familiar with what it feels like to be full. And, I wish that I had a stop button.

I was just talking to my best friend about an all-you-can-eat dinner we had at a popular seafood restaurant. I remember eating so many shrimp that I was surprised that I didn’t turn pink like a flamingo. Of course, battered, breaded, and buttered shrimp probably doesn’t create that same pinkness, but still… In any case, I never felt full and honestly believe that I could’ve kept eating for a good while longer. We left because my friend was done eating and very full. He’s 5′10 and weighed around 260 at the time, I’d guess. Me? 5′4″ and around the same weight as him. His brother just went to the same restaurant with the goal of eating 200 shrimp (all scampi style). He stopped at 203! Crazy, but I think I could do it too. I am seriously glad that I’m neither crazy-competitive or in Missouri.

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SIDE NOTE

Perhaps another potential trouble spot that sends me back to where I’ve been a hundred times over - - gaining, instead of losing - - is that acknowledgement that I’m actually losing weight. This only occurred to me today, but if people don’t mention when I gradually gain weight, why would they comment when I gradually lose weight? How would I expect them to notice? Acknowledgement needs to come from people who see me rarely, not the ones that see me every day. This was damn-near an epiphany for me. I’m so obtuse sometimes.

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Back to point, everything left in my head sounds like blah, blah, blah, so I’m just going to post this, and keep in mind that I can always edit later if when I next read this, it rambles like a river.

Ta for now…

First off, I’d like to say thanks to the blog powers-that-be for not doing their job. As you can see, my first and last post was many, many moons ago — almost a year-and-a-half ago, in fact. Around day 35, I remembered that I hadn’t logged into my blog, and knew that the post and account would have been deleted, as they were the first time I let too much time lapse between writings. Alas, they were not and here I am again.

Again. So many agains can’t be good for you, but you don’t fail until you stop trying to succeed, right?

And so it continues…

I find myself trying to come up with a trick or gimmick that will help me stay motivated. Something new to do every week - drinking water only, adding a new vegetable, taking a new workout class, etc. — perhaps leading to a wonderful little biography entitled, “A Year of Change: A Week at a Time”. I’ve considered having a weight loss competition with a friend or family member, which requires the loser to buy plane tickets for a cool vacation. Two drawbacks: they could win and choose an expensive trip, or they could be the worst vacation partner ever. I’ve thought of simply making a “bucket list” of adventures that I’m too heavy to do now - skydiving, kayaking, rock-climbing, zip-lining through a rainforest canopy (OK, this last one is a bit out there, but who knows what activities will come my way), etc. - and allowing myself to do them at certain goal weights.

So, what did I come up with? Well, it’s nothing creative or awe-inducing. I’ve just decided that instead of a day at a time (weighing every morning, aka obsessing), I’ll weigh myself once a week. Instead of journaling every bite of food, I’ll eat several meals a day trying to keep my metabolism revved (thanks to Food Lovers for the tip). As inconvenient as it is, I will endeavor to make my own meals each day, although I will eat out at least once a week (nothing fried, but nothing homemade either). I may not hit the gym every day, but I will move something whenever I can. I already belly dance twice a week and though it doesn’t seem like much, I can feel and see the toning that’s happening. And, although measurements would probably be a good idea, they are just another thing to obsess over; plus, I really hate taking my own measurements. I don’t think I’ve ever measured the exact same spot, which has led me to consider having tattoos of small dots put on my body as markers. I have tattoos, but marker dots just seem a bit silly. But I digress…

It’s time for a quick recap of the past two weeks. My bathroom scale and my Wii scale differ a bit, but the Wii scale results are on my TV screen right this second, so I’m going with those.

• Jan 11, 2012: I reached what I believe is my highest weight - 302.7lbs.
• Jan 17, 6 days later (not quite a week): Down to 297.4lbs. 5 pounds gone. Not too shabby.
• Jan 23, again 6 days later (don’t know why): 294.3lbs. Another 3 pounds.

In all, 8.4 pounds in two weeks, well 12 days really. The first weeks of a weight loss “movement” are so inspirational, aren’t they? Let’s see what next has in store.

Next entry: Jan 30, plus a pic if I’m feeling so inclined. Stay tuned.

Three weeks ago, I started, or more appropriately re-started my journey to healthier living. I seem to be a yo-yo loser. No, I don’t lose yo-yos; I lose weight, gain weight, lose weight, maintain the new weight for a week or two, lose weight and then gain it again. I have yet to go all the way back up to my heaviest weight, 286lbs, but I usually get within 10lbs of it before I realize or acknowledge that I’ve stepped off of the healthy journey path.

Why does this happen? It’s really very simple. It is inconvenient to live healthily. Yes, I really just said it isn’t convenient. Here’s an example, I love oranges, yet when I open the fridge for a snack and see an orange, and turn around and grab a package of chips instead, it’s because it takes too much energy and patience to peel the orange. I had accepted that I have no patience when it comes to owning puppies, kittens or babies (I like self-sufficient, fully housebroken and trained organisms), but who knew I had no patience with food preparation?

During my worst eating behaviors, I buy a pastry with my morning coffee, I go out to lunch and then I order and pick up dinner on the way home. That’s convenient. Making a sandwich or having a bowl of cereal for breakfast takes time. Putting together a lunch - an entree, 2 pieces of fruit, and a healthy snack or two - to take to work takes time. Remembering to take something out of the freezer to thaw, prepping it and a side dish, cooking it and getting a plate and silverware takes time. I can successfully do this for weeks at a time, and then I long for the convenience of having someone else prepare my meals for me. This, of course, is not only about meals. What’s more convenient than a bag of chips, or a candy bar or an ice cream treat from the local convenience store? Absolutely nothing! And so, here again I’ve begun my inconvenient journey.

So, three weeks ago, I weighed 276lbs. Due to an achilles tendon injury, I hadn’t been able to work out like I usually do, however I still managed to lose a few pounds. Funny, what the inconvenience of preparing your own food can do. In two or three weeks when I can exercise normally again, I’m hoping the losing goes a bit faster. For now, I’ve lost 7lbs, down to 269lbs. Perhaps I’ll take some measurements this week, so that I’m not only looking at the number of pounds I’ve lost over time.