The Dream

January 17th, 2012

Disclaimer: These are not my legs.

It’s a weird title for a blog; I understand.  The thing is, when I think about all of those little times where I have been irritated due to being over weight, this is a pretty consistent irritation.  I hate not fitting into a bathtub correctly. Like, really. You decide one night that you’re going to feel all sexy. You’re going to turn on some Van Morrison, or whatever flavor of Pandora cheese that you like. You’re going to go buy a set  of bath bombs, and bath salts, and bath oils, and a bath mask, and you’re going to drink a glass of wine, or whatever flavor of beverage that you like, and take it easy. If you have a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife or variety thereof, you might even plan it to where they get home right at the zenith of soak so you can be lying there in all your sudsy glory with your best interpretation of a smoldering eye. You build up all of this anticipation. You fill up the tub, add your over-dose of perfumes, and when you get in… Half of your body is sticking out of your sud mixture like a beached whale. You get hot and give up about midway through your glass of wine, shower off, and lick the wounds of your dispelled fantasy.

I understand that a lot of this has to do with the shortness of the tub. I mean, really, who can take one of those baths in a regular, old-fashioned tub. You’ve got to have a clawfoot, or a big jacuzzi. Over the years, I’ve just been fairly patient on my bathtub dream. Really, I have, and after all of this time, it seemed my dream would come true. My boyfriend just bought a new house, and inside of it was a pristine white, absolutely beautiful jacuzzi tub. While going through the horrors of the loan process, I held fast to the image of that glorious tub until the day we moved in. I actually didn’t get to try the thing for a few days, being so busy, but soon, it was time. I went through all of the process named above (though the boyfriend was home, so that ruined my whole “Surpise! I’m sexy!” idea), and I have to say, I was totally pumped; however, while the tub was a considerably better fit than my previous experiences, I was still left disappointed. I was still yet to be completely covered in sudsy wonderfulness. To commonly misquote Shakespeare, and be rather dramatic in the process, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.”

While I wish I could say, “That’s when I decided I didn’t want to be fat anymore,” I can’t. I decided that back in March of 2010, and I lost a lot of weight using 3FC. It’s a story for another blog day, but I’ve managed to gain it all back, plus a little bit more. I can’t say I’m not a little bit discouraged after doing this to myself, and I worry every day that I’ll lose this weight only to gain it back again. I’ve been dieting the past two weeks, but it has been difficult to get back on the good schedule I was last time. That’s also another post for another day. Maybe tomorrow actually. This blog is another step towards keeping myself accountable, plus another awesome outlet that 3FC offers.

So here we go. I’m 240 pounds and heading 80 pounds down. Sudsy dream, I’m coming for you, and you better be ready for my awesome hotness.

Happy food of the day:

Breakfast Banana Peanut Butter Oatmeal Smoothie:

1 banana
1 1/2 Tbs of peanut butter
1/4 - 1/2 cup of dry oatmeal
1 cup of skim milk

3 Responses to “The Dream”

  1. sgregg Says:

    Ya know, I never thought about it, but it would be absolutely wonderful to be able to take a comfortable bath like you mentioned above. Good luck with making better choices and getting back down to where you need to be. :)

  2. susana Says:

    what a funny and well written post! I dread the possibility of gaining back the weight I am so painfully losing. It takes days to lose one tiny pound, and then just a slip and bum! the pound is back! Reading our blogs and keeping aware of how difficult it is to lose weight should –I hope!– prevent us from gowing downhill again…

  3. mwrarr Says:

    Ohhhh man! I too have the ‘bathtub dream’ of being able to sink under the bubbles….

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