Havent had a chance to blog for the last few days but all has been well.
My initial disappointment with my weigh in this week has gone, and I am truly happy with how my first week went. Really feel like I am getting into this now and realise that this is it, not for a few months but for life. I think as well I am getting out of that mentality of starving myself to lose weight and realising I need to eat to fuel my body and make it work. How I wish I had realised all of this years ago, so many years wasted crash dieting and doing damage to my body.
My sister is 40 today. I am probably closest to this particular sister ( I have 3). She is going through such a hard time. Her girl is 13 and recently diagnosed with anorexia. Such a complex disease and having had an eating disorder myself it breaks my heart to see her so young and doing this to herself. You start off getting into these disorders having no clue of how they will take over your life and turn you into someone else. You think you are in control and you have finally found the cure to all your problems and you will finally be thin. And you are in control for a while but then… it all changes.
Myself I know that although I no longer purge, I still (or I was) bingeing. I have huge issues with self control around food, I have a tremendously low opinion of myself, I have huge regrets. What I am trying to say is that even if you are ‘cured’ from you disorder, the damage mentally never really heals.
I think that is why my heart is broken for this little girl. She has opened a box of tricks that she may eventually close but it will never be locked shut.
I have been thinking about her a lot and it occurred to me recently how anorexics and overeaters have so much in common. They both use food to self medicate, be it overeating or starving. They continue to eat/starve to the point that they are putting their life in danger. They have a warped view on how they look, an anorexic sees a fat person and personally I had no clue that I had gotten as big as I had or that I looked so huge. My niece is around 80 lbs and I am 291 lbs, she obviously will need to get to hospital soon and be fed by drips and me? well I am termed morbidly obese. Doctors are giving women smaller than me the go ahead to have gastric surgery to save their lives.
Time will tell how my niece does and thankfully I am doing something to change my obesity. But like my niece, it is hard to take in the health risks involved when you are 80lbs or 291lbs. Both of us need to change to save our lives.
Good luck to everyone on this road to recovery and health.
You might just want to sit down and talk to her and tell her exactly what you have told us here in this post. Although she might think you and her couldn’t be further apart in your relationships to food-explain to her what you did us. Make yourself an ally for her. Work on this together. I bet it makes you both feel better. :: hugs ::
May 2, 2009 @ 11:26 amHello Sunnygee
May 5, 2009 @ 6:17 amThanks for your comments!
Very early on I had this very chat with my niece. However, she is in the throws of this disorder, obsessed with food and talking about it. There was a concern that my introducing the term bullimia to her, albeit from a negative view point, may well have sewn a seed with her.
I realised very quickly that no two people with eatings disorders are the same. She is also very young and mentally cannot comprehend the long term damage she is doing.
Basically we realise that as much as we love her this is a job for professionals, and all we can do is support her and her family.