Putting It All In Perspective

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For my own benefit, I’m showing a couple of pictures of myself before I started losing the weight when I was at my heaviest of 262.8lb in May 2012 and now November 2012 at 219.6lbs

I NEED to face the reality of how big I had really gotten and NEED to keep things in perspective. And the only way I can do that is by forcing myself to see how I really looked at 262.8lbs. I ‘ve already come a long way¬† but sometimes I just need to remind myself that I’m not quite there yet and need to keep working on losing weight.

BEFORE

Before Losing Weight. 262.8lbs May 2012

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HALF-WAY THERE

After losing 45lbs November 2012 - 219.6lbskkkk

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To be continued ….

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Speechless

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For the first time in at least 10 years, I am finally UNDER 220lbs!

I got up this morning and stepped onto the scale to see 219.6lbs appear on the screen. I didn’t believe it the first time so I tried it again and sure enough, it flashed again… 219.6lbs… I still didn’t believe it so I got my son to witness it and was assured that what I was seeing was most definitely correct.

After coming to my senses last week about how I’d been consuming vast quantities at night before bed and cutting the snacking out, I noticed the weight started coming off right away. It is still hard for me to resist the temptation to eat out of boredom and still need to find an alternative activity at night so I don’t get bored but in the meantime, my house is now spotless and am searching for something else to do so I don’t eat!

:-)

Pre-Winter Blah’s

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In the past couple of months, I’ve noticed a trend occurring in my eating habits. I’ve been working a LOT of hours and have had very little time for rest or personal quiet time to do my own thing and have realized I’ve been eating out of boredom when I get home from work.

I’ve really noticed it in recent weeks when I’ve grabbed the bag of chips that normally would sit at my desk for literally months at a time is now disappearing in only a couple of weeks. The dinner meal that would usually only get half eaten is now being fully consumed as well as something sweet which is something I don’t have maybe only two or three times in the course of a full year! (I’m not a “sweet” person, I like spicy stuff) Then what makes this all so much worse is a couple of hours later, before bed, I will make myself a sandwich and then have chocolate as the grande finale!

I work so hard most days of the week, when I get home or have time off, I am quite literally bored and unsure as to what to do with myself until I collapse into bed at night. I’d work out if I had the energy and I’d knit or crochet if my hands weren’t so sore from working all day. I’d go for a walk if I didn’t have the fibromyalgia that prevents me from even walking to the end of my street because of all the pain in my body. I’m not really sure what to do with myself at this point. If I had any friends, I would hang out with them and play cards or even just share conversation over a cup of tea.

Some nights I come home to an empty house and love it! I will make dinner for me and the husband (for whenever he gets home) and then clean the kitchen with my classy jazz or big band music playing throughout the house with no one under the age of 30 to complain about the “old tunes”! LOL Unfortunately, most nights someone has been home during the day and has managed to make a mess of the kitchen that I had cleaned when they weren’t home the previous night making all my hard work completely redundant.

Tonight, I’ve affirmed to NOT eat after dinner and will restrain myself from noshing whatever jumps into my hands…. that is…. right after I have me some popcorn…. Pray for me… :-)

Hello World

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Not much going on these days except for the usual grind. Work, sleep, eat and then do it all again the next day. The days get cooler as the autumn settles in and I look forward to snow once again. Being middle-aged and in the throngs of menopause, I welcome the frigid temperatures with open arms and coats. I love being able to throw a scarf and hat on, some boots and with shovel in hand, clear away the fluffy white stuff from our driveway and sidewalk. Great exercise and at night, the sounds of winter are indescribable unless you’ve experienced it for yourself. There’s just nothing else like it in the world.

My weight hasn’t changed much since the last time I journaled but fluctuates a pound or three up or down on any given day. I’m just so happy I haven’t seen the 230’s in months so to me, this is always a good thing. I’m anxiously awaiting the day when I step onto the scale in the morning and have it show me the “teens” (ie 219)… I’m not sure how I’ll react yet, but I’m sure it will be an epic response! :-)

I do have good news though. I’m not sure if I’ve shared yet. In May 2012 I started out with a 51 inch waist and am now down to a 37 1/2 inch waist. This feels so good!

Goodnight world. I have to go to bed once again. 6am comes early. One more day of work then I get two days off… So looking forward to it. The plan is to start Zumba on Tuesday. Woot!

As the Stomach Turns…

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The past couple of weeks have been a re-learning experience involving food, pain and weight-gain. I thought since I had lost over 40lbs that the fibromyalgia might be less or even gone completely since I hadn’t had a bout since early June this year but I was incredibly mistaken these past two weeks. I admit, I had been slipping back into old habits but didn’t really realize how much I had actually “slipped” until my body was screaming in pain once again. I have been struggling with just being able to move my hands and hips again and it’s been almost impossible to work in this much pain until just a couple of days ago it hit me. I suddenly realized I had been eating dairy again. I had gotten some all-natural balkan yogurt and had been eating a couple of those a day. Plus, I’d been drinking a bit of milk and having cereal in the mornings too. To top that off, I’d also been eating cheese and having toast with butter for snacks! Boy, am I ever sorry I allowed myself to slip back into this habit!

In addition to the pain, I’ve been eating a whole lot more than I should be. Being in all this pain, I have been opting for dining out as opposed to cooking at home simply because it doesn’t hurt as much to sit and eat while someone else does the cooking and washing up. Not to mention the free refill soda pop that is consumed while chomping down on some tasty morsel that will ultimately end up back on my back-side in the form of fat.

It’s been two days now since I stopped eating the dairy and the pain is slowly ebbing but I find it still very difficult to move or relax while this constant aching continues to deny me of sleep and peace of mind. I’m tense, irritable and constantly on edge. I’ve gained a few pounds during all of this and am currently weighing in at 224.4lbs.

I have to admit I love dairy products. The real deal. Milk, cheese, yogurt, and everything in between. This is a huge weakness for me and will likely continue to be one for many years to come. I think if I didn’t have the fibromyalgia and the osteo-arthritis, I’d be more than happy to consume dairy in vast quantities for the rest of my life. But until such time as things change in this regard, I’m doomed to banish it from my life, albeit very reluctantly.