I’ve Now Come Full Circle

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When I was still in my teens, I worked for the Holiday Inn in housekeeping and it would seem I have come full circle and find myself now working for the same employer in my forties. For over 25 years after leaving the Holiday Inn I’ve worked in a variety of jobs from warehouse, to factory, to office, to nursing, to chef and the ever popular, data processing. I think it’s safe to say I’ve pretty much “done it all” and lived to tell about it. It’s funny though because when I was in my teens doing housekeeping, I remember enjoying it immensely and here I am, so very happy with this minimum wage paying job and I wonder why I didn’t do this years ago. I could say, “I needed to try other avenues first”. Or I could even admit that God still had a lot of work to do in me be before I realized it’s the simple things in life that would ultimately give me the greatest pleasures and enjoyment. The pay is terrible, but to work so hard that at the end of the day you crawl into bed exhausted and actually look forward to the morning so you can get up and do it all over again is so very satisfying, if not even gratifying to some extent.

I’m still losing weight and am 2 more pounds closer to 220 it’s scary!!! (officially 223lbs) Every morning I stand on the scale and see I am a pound or two less by the end of the week and it’s invigorating to say the least. I’m so excited to see my body changing and how my health is so much better now than what it was just 5 months ago now. My life has changed so much in such a short time, it’s crazy! Who would have thought that getting back to basics and working myself to the bone would be the answer to my weight problem!?! I know I sure didn’t think it would take this much to succeed, but obviously the desired weightloss is the ultimate result.

I am now wearing my 23yr old daughter’s size 14 jeans! And not plus size either! I couldn’t believe it when I tried them on last week and they fit!!! I’m now into every day LARGE shirts and mostly because I’m really big chested to begin with but also due to the major weight loss on my torso. I went and purchased new undergarments in a size xlarge and will have to buy myself some new bras at some point since I’ve gone from a 44FF down to a 34DD which is pretty much where I was prior to all this weight gain.

I still track all my food intake with LoseIt app on my IPod and have yet to go over my daily calorie budget in over a month. (*I don’t even come close when I add in the exercise I do for 8 hours a day!) I work pretty much 5 days a week and when I’m home I spend those 2 days cleaning my own home so I don’t ever really stop until I collapse into bed each night. I haven’t had time for tennis in the past few weeks between a major bout with the stomach flu and head/chest cold I was hit with the past 2 weeks and now it’s peak season at the hotel for Oktoberfest but once that’s over, then the hotel will slow right down and my hours will be cut drastically. I don’t mind so much but will need to start looking for another job to fill in the gap in the paychecks before spring comes around again and I’ll be back to working full-time at the hotel again. It seems like I’m always looking for work and I wish I could find a job I enjoy this much where I wouldn’t have to worry about losing hours every winter. That’s the only downside to this job right now until some of the full-time permanent girls decide to retire or go elsewhere. They’ve been doing their job so long they have no idea there are no more “good” jobs out there these days. Just jobs to pay the bills and employers who are NOT nice to their employees. They have no idea how good they’ve got it working at the Holiday Inn!!! Even with the old vacuum’s and thread bare linens! They wouldn’t last a week in any other job.

Well time once again for me to head to bed. Tomorrow I go in to work for my 6th day in a row before I get 1 day off (Tuesday). I’m so looking forward to my 1 day off. I’m hoping to sleep for at least half the day! :-D And then will probably clean the rest of it. One consolation to look forward to is I’m making a roast beef with gravy and scalloped potatoes for Tuesday’s dinner so that’s my motivation to get me through tomorrow. I’m exhausted…. goodnight sleep sweet.

Addicted to Loving Myself

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It’s been a long time coming but it has happened at last. For much of my life I have struggled with self-esteem and confidence issues but can honestly say that I am content with myself. It seems as the pounds come off, so do the years of self-criticism and self-berating for being weak and allowing myself to get fat. People say, “You shouldn’t say things like that about yourself!” but nonetheless, it’s true, I have always blamed myself for everything that’s ever happened both in my control and beyond my control. I think it’s a woman thing and YES, I said the “F” word! F A T   and yes I was and still am but that’s alright, I’m on the road to healing in a lot of areas of my life and my size is just one of those outward signs of how I’ve felt about myself on the inside all these years.

Even when I was 118lbs after having 2 children, I still thought I was “fat”. I never liked the person I saw in the mirror until now. I don’t care that I’ve got stretch marks or flabby skin. What I care about is the person on the inside for once. And it’s okay to like me. No other agenda, no competition. Just me and I’m doing just fine!

I’ve been sick for about 2 weeks now with a cold and flu bug that’s been going around and went to the doctors today. He weighed me and checked my blood pressure. Since I was there in May before leaving for the North, I had weighed in at a hefty 262.8lbs and am officially down to 225.6lbs for a total loss of 37.2lbs. And with my blood pressure back to NORMAL!!!! YEAH!!!  The doctor actually said he was impressed and was happy to see I’d lost so much weight in 4 months! I told him my plan to get down to 200lbs for Christmas and he smiled. Made me feel so good about all the hard work I’ve been doing and actually felt proud with myself for sticking to my weightloss plan.

It’s not always been easy, but to have my doctor actually smile and say he was impressed meant more to me than all the tears shed along the way.

So here I am tonight, still sick but on the road to recovery. Still “fat” but getting smaller. Still me and finally okay with that too.

Feeling the Pinch

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Not much new going on in my life right now other than working hard and not sleeping very much. Have had a fever and body aches for the past 5 days now and am losing my voice. The family would say this is a good thing but I would like to argue that point, but can’t right now. (not able to talk) LOL!

The only news I have regarding weightloss is that I’m consistently 228lbs for the past week or so. Neither up nor down. And normally I’d weigh at least 5lbs more at night but lately I’ve hung around 230lb mark before heading to bed which is only 2lb difference. I’m eating a lot less at home and at work than what I was a couple of weeks ago and am finding it a lot easier to do my job every day. My endurance and stamina have increased dramatically. :-) I’ve had to purchase myself some new clothes as my old ones are now falling off of me. I had hoped I wouldn’t have to get new stuff until I got down to 200lbs but it’s amazing how 35lbs and daily exercise can really change how your clothes fit (or don’t) My husband has certainly noticed the difference! :-D

I have a new mini goal of getting down to an even 200lbs for Christmas this year. I’ll work hard to try to accomplish this.

Temperance

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Just this past Thursday (August 30, 2012) I attended a court hearing regarding child support for my two children who are now adult but still entitled to support. As a family, we agreed to end support so their biological father would no longer have any hold on the kids in their lives and they could move on with theirs. My son has decided he wants to officially change his last name to his dad’s (his step-fathers name) so he doesn’t have anymore ties with his biological father (except by gene pool). My daughter hasn’t made a decision about her last name yet but will at some point. All this was spurned on by the children’s great disappointment in their biological father and how my current husband of 15+ years has always been there for them for as long as they can remember. We now close this chapter in our lives for good.

My job is going well but exhaustion has started to set in. Working long, hard days in a physically demanding job is certainly beneficial and has its drawbacks. I’ve lost so much girth all my clothes are now falling off of me and just the other day, I was making a bed at work and my pants fell right off my backside. On my day off, I went out and purchased myself a couple pairs of shorts and tops that fit better now. I also learned my clothing size has changed big time. I’ve gone from a plus size 22 down to a plus size 16 in just 4 months! So once I get a couple more days off I will have to go shopping for some work pants and undergarments since my current ones are also hanging off me now. Another benefit has been my blood pressure. I am now officially within normal ranges which makes me ecstatic and relieved!

Now that I work so much I’ve found my eating habits have changed dramatically. My routine has been to have black coffee and an apple when I get to work in the morning and then I usually have a lunch consisting of protein, vegetables and fruit. Then once I get home, I find I crave more protein and a little carb with veggies. And during all of this, I still drink tons of water. Every morning when I weigh myself before heading to work, I have either lost a pound or two or have remained the same as the day before. I think I’ve finally found what works for me to lose weight with a thyroid disease. Oh, did I mention I now weigh 228lbs!?!?

:-)