*SIGH* I have said this before…but ultimately my plan is to never say it again after this one last time…
“I am going to diet (and exercise but not quite yet since I just had a c-section 2 weeks ago) and I will stick to my goal of only eating healthy (even treats will be healthy). I will REACH and MAINTAIN my goal weight of 120 (I am short) by December 21, 2012. I have a lot of weight to lose, but I plan to lose them with diet and exercise.” Commence Diet ~ Midnight February 4, 2012 ~
I have a new life, new baby and about to move into my new place!! I am so excited because for once in my life, I will be able to really control my food.
Here’s my story:
I am a pretty recent college graduate, being in a Chinese household, mommy always cooked and we eat what mommy makes. Don’t get me wrong, what she would make would be healthy, but other stuff that would be kept in the house would not be so healthy. I have a younger sister, we LOVE to pig out at home. But she is 125lbs and the same height as myself. Lucky her.
Anyways, I work FT, and travel (occasionally but that really gets me in trouble and I will explain. I travel away for a week and eat out every meal, every day. The first time I did this, I ended up gaining like almost 10 pounds! I ordered anything I wanted, what a mistake, I will need to learn better ways of handling this, last time I travelled, I basically ate salads or tried to, everywhere, I still ended up gaining a few pounds)
Last year I got married and moved in with my hubby, but due to how picky we were about the place we were getting, it took longer than expected and we have been living with his parents. Again, don’t get me wrong, his mom makes great healthy Chinese food!! But again, I have no control over the food we eat or what we keep in the house.
For instance, there are these mini chocolate muffins, a container of like 50 from Costco, like seriously they are almost expired and not to be wasteful, because this has happened where things get moldy, I ate 6 of them Friday, 2/3, you know. I keep justifying the fact that they are going to go bad. Bad mentality.
I need to tell myself that wasting food is okay. I need to re-brain wash myself. I need to not be afraid of wasting food. It is not MY food, and when it is MY food, I will learn how NOT to WASTE food, but make sure that they are all healthy food.
POINT: I am very much about being economical and green and not being wasteful, of anything! Honestly, I don’t even like giving up old clothes (sadly even to charity, I cling on to stuff!!) (But I have donated my clothes and will donate some soon when I move in and go through my clothes)
Okay so pre-pregnancy I was 165, my lowest weight was 140, and my highest weight was when I was about to give birth at 210. It was disappointing to have gained that much (45 pounds) during the pregnancy. I keep telling myself it was 35-40 pounds. 45 is so close to 50. Ugh. *shake it off*
Okay so during my pregnancy, for 9 months, I would always be tempted to diet, but of course I could not!!
And now that I had to get a c-section, I cannot exercise for at least another 6 weeks. I was reading all this scary stuff of women’s like stitches ripping internally and stomach ripping open like AHHHHHHHH SUPER SCARY.
Anyway, I am now being “fed” by hubby’s mom, I am lucky. In Chinese culture the husband’s family does take care of the wife during that first month of postpartum.
So down to weight-ins. I do not have access to an accurate scale here so I will have to wait to weight in at the doctor’s when I go next next Wednesday 2/15.
But on 1/23, I weighted 192.
I might (hopefully) but losing more than 2 pounds a week, I am aiming for that of course, just through being busy with baby and not eating before bed. But I figure since I am trying to eat my normal intake (being pregnant made me eat a little more crazy than normal) I might be shedding more than 2 pounds a week? Especially if it is due to my uterus shrinking or losing my excess water.
So on 2/15, I should have lost about 5 pounds so aiming for 187.
Well I need sleep. I am all prepped for sleep and I know baby will wake in a few hours for another feeding. I will update later as to what has been going on with my eating habits, How I lost a bad habit and seemed to pick it right back up. Now I need the courage to fight it off again.