Damnit it all it to hell! I’m sick. FML. I hate hate hate hate hate hate being sick! I just absolutely hate it. I hate the scratchy throat, the coughing, the aches, the not being able to do anything! Ugh I just hate it all.
Lets see how being sick has affected my weight. Monday the 8th I was 257.2. Tuesday 256.6, Wednesday 250.0 and then I EFFED it all up when I got sick. In the past I have had this remedy of having a JambaJuice Cold Buster every morning until the cold goes away. Well this one particular morning it didn’t stop at a Cold buster. Oh no. I had Chik-Fil-A for lunch and potato salad for dinner. Talk about three major food groups I can’t have!! Sugar, carbs, and fat. Ugh! Needless to say I weighed in Thursday morning at 257.4 which was a serious let down considering I was SOOO close to 255!! Well here’s the weird part. This morning I weighed in and was at 270 on the nose which was great because it was a half pound down. I was hoping for more but what are ya gonna do. When you EFF up you gotta start somewhere. So I fell asleep and here’s whats weird…I woke up and felt this CRAZZZY urge to pee. An urge I haven’t felt in a very long time. So I shuffled my sick ass to the bathroom and took the longest piss in history. I should have timed it. Seriously. Anyway, I thought AHH I’ll weigh again. What did the scale say??? 255.0!!!! I don’t know if that was the forever piss, the nap or a serious mix up on the scale but I weighed about 10 times to double check. I thought it must be my eyes. The scale would go up about 4 oz. and then back down but sure enough it said 255 on the nose more often than not. I’m hoping it still says that tomorrow! How weird?? Oh well, I’m going to try not to question it too much because a lb lost is a lb lost.
I did go see my doctor yesterday for my illness and while we sat there going over the usual illness questions I waited for him to mention my weight. Even the nurse who weighed me said, oh 20 lbs since you last saw us! She was all excited and here is my gorgeous light skinned asshole of a Mediterranean doctor absolutely overlooking it. This is the man who told me if I didn’t lose, I would die. So I said, “Yo! Doc. You are really going to sit there and not say anything about my weight loss?? in my cute/joking way and my cheesy grin. He looks straight and my stomach and stares for a few seconds. I said, “No doc you can’t look at me and tell if you have to look at the number!” SO he flips through my chart all the way back to a year and 9 months ago and says, “Well it looks like you were at 273 then, 6 months later 278, 6 months later 276, the next visit 281 and now you are at 260.” The scale at home obviously doesn’t match my doctor’s but according to my docs scale my highest was 287. He looks up at me after all this as I stare down at him with a “hey be proud of me grin.” He says, “So overall you’ve lost only about 13 lbs in close to a year. I could have killed him! I mean I REALLY could…I mean hello…ONLY! Only this foot up your ass doc! I was so taken aback. He’s always on me to lose weight and when I finally do he says to me, “I really was expecting a more drastic weight loss by now.” Great. Everything from his first instinct to look at my stomach to scolding me for not losing more just put me over the edge. I said, ” OK doc, are we done? You’ve pissed me off and we’re done. Give me my prescription.” I walked out saying, “Just you see Dr. Al (my nickname for him), in 6 more months you’ll see me!” I probably overreacted but I’m sick of his condescending attitude.
Well I need to get to my homework. Guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning to see if my 255 was a fluke.