well i have been losing weight pretty steady but not getting in my workouts at all…so i made the decision to enter the bfl challenge. for those who don’t know it is a body building challenge where they give you a very easy eating plan plus a specific workout schedule….3 days weight lifting and 3 days cardio. i’m sticking with south beach for the diet (which is almost identical to body for life) and doing there workout schedule. i will let you know if it helps

well i’ve been lazy about writing but alot has been happening. for starters i have been op for 27 days….big for me. not even one cheat. that includes 3 kinds birthdays, going out for chinese and listening to them all saying…oh one bite won’t ruin your diet. lol…at all the times i heard that and i’m like you know how many one bites that would be. also, as of this morning am down 17 lbs. since january 1.

haven’t got the exercise going steady. my new boxer puppy came down with parvo and had to be quarentined from the other animals in my exercise room. not that i’m complaining i’m so glad he pulled through, the odds were against him but after giving him lots of shots of i.v fluid and nausea meds and antibiotics he pulled through. so if anyone needs a shot i can give it to ya….just kidding.

anyways, i did get to the gym sunday and had a very long and intense workout (2 hours) 25 minutes elliptical-1 mile, 25 minutes bike-7.5 miles, 20 minutes treadmill-1 mile and 45 minutes of lifting weights. unfortunately the gym is a 40 minute drive so i figured i would get it all in. if i can only make it once a week i will work hard that day.

well it is going surprisingly well. i have lost weight though i’m not telling the exact number til the end of 2 weeks. yesterday, i had my family christmas party and it went pretty good for having a potluck style meal. i was able to eat ham, fresh veggies, deviled egg and a venision wrap that my brother in-law made (it was so yummy). now i need to work on getting more exercise in. i’m slacking on my c25k but will get it in today along with my push-up challenge i am doing.

well yesterday was not a good day leading up to day one but i survived.

found out they are repoing my car at noon today, i knew it was coming but for them to call me on new years eve and want it immediately…i put them off til noon today so i could go grocery shopping for my diet but i still cried alot. as if being out of work since may isn’t hard enough, take my only transportation when i live 20 minutes from the nearest town. that makes getting a job a bit harder. anyways, my parents have a lincoln they don’t use so they are letting me use it until i can get something else. ok enough ranting, its to depressing anyways.

today one is off to a good start, i was really hesitant to eat anything but finally just ate…probably waited to long and got to hungry but drinking water helps to. not sure when i will be exercising as the treadmill is in the spare bedroom which is currently occupied so i’ll have to wait.

seems like the last couple days everything has gone crazy….i broke up with my bf who is on medication for depression and he left and went to the hospital cause he couldn’t deal with it. well we talked and he is staying in the spare room which i offered anyways until he can get his own place.

for a while i didn’t think i’d be able to start my diet on the first but with him deciding to stay it changes the finances…we have only gone out a short time and he had been staying here before that. i just realized we make better freinds and i am having lots of trouble dealing with his depression especially since he really doesn’t have it under control at all.

today i am working on trying to figure out what to buy for the first week or two on this plan…i don’t want to mess up and buy the wrong stuff. anyways, if i don’t make a list i will probably mess up. so that being said i am combing the internet for ideas and suggestions for meals the first week.

on a side note i am dealing with my bf who is depressed and not really knowing how to deal with it.

i am lucky enough to have a gym membership for over a year now…its 30.00 a month and i can go at any hour (i have a key card to let myself in) unfortunately it is a 45 minute drive and my bf is always with me and it would cost extra for him to go. however, i plan on making it a priority to hit the gym atleast once a week this year, it was so much easier when i was working and would go to the gym before work. anyways its only 5.00 each time i take him so for 20.00 a month we can both go. i am only going for the weights i have a really good treadmill but even that i rarely use…thats about to change as well.

yeah its christmas but it doesn’t feel like it around here. This is the first christmas since my seperation so my 10 year old is going to her dads in a half hour we ate christmas dinner and opened presents yesterday, so today seems to be just another lazy day to me, a day to think about what i want to accomplish and how i want to do it.

well it all has to start somewhere and mine started some 38 years and 8 months ago. most of my life has been a trial of sorts…not on the scale of many but still seems that way to me. i’m in the process of a second divorce…dealing with kids that are trying to adjust and still never seem to have time for myself.

currently, i lost my job in may and seperated at the same time…..not really through fault of my own on either case. The factory i worked at closed and all the jobs went to mexico or detroit (but these have since gone to mexico as well) and well on the personal front my husband (ex, i guess) and my 15 year old can’t get along to the point he never wants to see my daughter again. so basically he said either she goes of he does and well (whether he knows or not) he was never around…not for years so the choice was not a real choice and he is mad cause i chose her over him (go figure). anyways, this leads to today living on unemployment, which is about to run out, and hoping for the extension…since jobs are scarce here (and beleive me i have been looking) and even that is barely enough to pay the basic bills. so, all the credit card bills and car payment and everything is way behind.

just giving you the basis for where i am and where i am heading. on top of that i am unfit and overweight and have been for as long as i can remember, with not health insurance and no job i am on my own to do something about it. so i sit here today at 230lbs and no it is one of the few things i can control today. no, i’m not foolish enough to start this today as its christmas eve and stressful enough. but on january 1 i will be working on me and getting myself back on track not only with my weight (although that is a major part) but also with my life…finding a job, paying my bills, and hopefully not losing my car (which is kinda to the point that it can’t be avoided).

my resolutions and goals will come in the next few days as i reflect on the changes i would like to see come about before i turn 40.