So, this is the third week of my “new life”.

I haven’t really kept a blog, so I’m not sure how this is going to turn out. I actually decided to start this blog hoping it would motivate me to keep exercising. We’ll see how that goes. I’m one of those people who can never find a middle ground, one who either gives it all she’s got or quits. That’s why I’ve never really lost weight and been fit, but I’m hoping that will all change.

Also, I decided this might be a good time to keep a diary of some sort. Everyone says how losing weight and getting healthier becomes a sort of journey and learning experience; that sounds like something worth recording (If I even get that far).

Well, I guess I’ll start with a few details about myself. I’m a 23 year old, married woman. I don’t have any children yet (unless you count my cat). I live beside my parents on their 14 acre lot in a trailer that was once owned by my grandparents. I can’t drive, and neither can my husband. We barely get by on his SSI checks, and carpool with my mother. I’m an aspiring novelist who has published two short stories, but didn’t receive any profit out of either. I also enjoy singing, and would love to someday sing opera.

I’ve always been self-conscious, and the fact that I’m overweight doesn’t help that issue. Since I’m only around 4′9 my body looks nearly twice as large as it would if I was taller carrying this weight. At the moment, I’m 226 lbs. Because of my weight I constantly feel lethargic, irritable, and depressed.

Since I’ve started exercising I do feel better sometimes, but often I find myself still feeling the same. I guess I can be proud of the fact that I’ve gained endurance. The first week I started, i was only able to do 10-15 minutes of exercise, now I am able to get through 40 minutes. Not only that, I’m able to get through this Firm DVD I have called “dance cardio”. I bought it several years ago, and I was barely able to get through it at all. Unfortunately, I haven’t lost any weight yet, but I’m still going. Hopefully I’ll see a difference soon.

Last Friday I went grocery shopping, and tried to buy better foods, but it’s pretty hard to find produce and healthier foods to fit our budget. Since we use food stamps, we don’t have a lot of money to splurge on the best of everything, and I’ve always valued quantity over quality. Thankfully, we found some good deals.

I still bought some junk food, though. I admit that I’m a sugar addict. Sweets: cake, cookies, donuts, chocolate… you name it. I have a habit of shoveling sweets into my face when I’m depressed, watching a good movie, or just sitting in front of the computer. I know I’m going to have to eventually break that habit… and it’s not going to be pretty.

But…

I’m trying to take this “new change” slowly so as not to burn myself out like I usually do. Hopefully it’ll work this time. I’ve been exercising nearly every day. Occasionally I miss one or two, but I don’t think it’s too bad. At least I’m doing something for the majority of the week.

Anyway, that’s all my ranting for now.