12/28/11

Wednesday:

I anticipated a great get-together on Christmas Eve, but that’s not exactly what happened. First off, I slightly scorched the chocolate when I was making fudge (which we later found out didn’t make a difference as it was still very good), Secondly, we cooked WAY too early and everyone was hungry waiting for my Dad’s side to get there. Third (and most important), I piled my plate with my aunt’s cheesey beef dip, and found a dead COCKROACH in it. My appetite just about went. At least I didn’t eat as much as I thought I would.

Also, they only stayed about 2 hours. Talk about a great time! ::rolls eyes::

Christmas was a bit better, but not much. We had a big dinner, but it wasn’t anything I really wanted (except for the cake and leftover fudge). I also aggravated my foot, pacing around the house. My parents have a stray kitten that’s been coming around their house, and I kept checking the back porch to see if she was there.

How was your Christmas and Christmas Eve?

Today I slept all day, but at least I didn’t eat yet. It’s almost 3:30 pm, and I’m still not very hungry. It might be because we don’t have anything sweet or junkie in the house.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that my mother’s side did not visit at all. It was very disappointing. My mom and her family lost a family member, and my mom’s sister was sick, so that was it.

12/10/11

Saturday:

Yesterday I was going to accompany my mom to town, but she didn’t want to drive next door to my house, because she said the ground is moist, and she nearly got stuck last time. I removed the tape from my foot, and wiggled my toe around. It still hurt, so I decided against going. I’ll have to go next week since my mother’s side will be coming down next Saturday.

What I ate Friday:

Sundae Pie: 450 calories

Small serving of Cheezits: 150-200 calories

Carrots & Yogurt: 90-100 calories

Turkey & Cheese sandwich: roughly 375 calories

Turkey & Mustard sandwich: roughly 185 calories

Crackers & Cheese: 460 calories

3 Chocolate Chip Cookies: 400 calories

Turkey & Cheese sandwich: roughly 375 calories

Altogether: 2545

DANG!

Exercise: 30 minutes on the Stationary Bike: roughly 150 calories.

I have no real excuse for eating so much food. I just felt really hungry. I feel so ashamed.

* * *

So far I’ve only eaten 3 clementines today: roughly 125 calories.

I did 30 minutes on the Stationary Bike: roughly 150 calories.

My new plan is to use my Stationary bike several times a day in 30 minute intervals. Maybe a little after I eat, so I can shave a few calories off. Unfortunately, the bike seat is VERY uncomfortable, so I have to pause several times to readjust myself. This exercise is a bit boring, and probably won’t do much, but it’s one of the only things that doesn’t hurt my toe.

I guess beggars can’t be choosers.

12/8/11

Thursday:

Ouch.

I have the most horrible pain in my upper back and back of my neck right now. Yesterday I waited on that social network site for my mom. I didn’t want to go to church last night, because I’m trying to rest my toe. (I forgot to mention, the church now sends a van out this way to pick up people that can’t go otherwise, so we now have transportation.) Well, she didn’t come online at all. I think her internet has been down, or something. I guess she was just relaxing in the chair, and enjoying our first, real snowfall of the year (nothing accumulated, but the flakes were HUGE.) So I was pretty chilled, because the house is drafty where I sit. I was also very, very sleep since I hadn’t gone to sleep the night before. I asked Hubby to wake me up and a couple hours, or sooner if he saw her come online, and I lied down. I woke up about three hours later, feeling terribly tense. Mom still hadn’t signed on, so I was getting ready to go over there. As I was getting dressed, I tried to flip my hair behind my shoulder, and a HORRIBLE pain went through the back of my left shoulder-blade and up the back of my neck … and now I’ve had a crick ever sense.

I did some stretching before going to bed last night, and actually slept all day today. It’s a tiny, tiny bit better, but it still restricts my movements a lot.

Some good news now. The scale said 209. I even moved it around, and it still said that (give or take ounces). I haven’t exercised at all for the last few days due to my toe (and now my back/neck), so this is purely from diet.

Yesterday I ate a little more than I should have, but averaged it to be about 1700-1900 calories. I haven’t eaten anything yet, but I’m thinking a piece of pie, grilled deli meat sandwich, and some carrots and yogurt. We’ll see, though.

12/7/11

Wednesday:

This is getting ridiculous! It’s been about a month, and my big toe still hurts. The pain radiates down into the ball of the foot, but only the area right under the big toe. I got some advice from some friends, so I will either be taping it to the next toe, or finding something to splint it with. I probably will skip church tonight, because I’m trying to stay off my foot unless I absolutely have to get up (brushing teeth, bathroom, getting a drink ect.). I researched it online. I’m pretty sure it’s not broken, because there isn’t any discoloration or deformity. That also leaves out a dislocation. I think it’s probably sprained. I can’t tell if there’s any swelling, though. My big toes have always looked fat.

Anyway, I think I’m going to try counting calories again. Here’s what I ate yesterday:

1 cup of Berry Zinger herbal tea:

Lunch: 1 cup of Bolthouse Farms Green juice: 140 calories

3 cups of Pepsi Max: 12 calories or so

Dinner: Turkey and mustard on wheat bread: 185 calories or so

Raw carrot sticks and broccoli: 40 calories or so

Leftover canned pineapple: 45 calories or so

About 1 1/2 tablespoons of 0 % Fage Greek Yogurt: 50-65 calories?

More Pepsi Max: 8 calories or so

Snack: Half a tin of smoked Herring: 85 calories or so

1 piece of wheat bread: 70 calories

1 1/2 tablespoons Greek Yogurt: 50-65 calories?

Today’s food (so far):

Pepsi Max: 4 calories

1 cup or so of Cheezits: 205 calories or so

Turkey and mustard on wheat bread: 185 calories or so

* * *

I know the calories look small, but I’m a very short woman (about 4′9 or 4′10), and I also can’t exercise at the moment, and really, really want to lose a couple pounds before my aunt, grandma, and cousin come visit on the 17th. I doubt it will happen, though. Also, the night before last I binged. I had nearly half a box of Cheezits, 5 chocolate chip cookies, and 4 slices of pizza. I felt so full I could hardly move, which was a far-cry to how I felt just a couple hours ago. That’s the reason I had the rest of my Cheezits and the sandwich after 12 am (which I’ve counted for today). I expect to have the juice for lunch again, and maybe a sandwich with cheese on it with carrots and yogurt for dinner. We’ll see what happens.

12/5/11

Monday:

The cats have been frontlined.

It was really rainy today. So much that my mom didn’t want to take me grocery shopping. She even sent me a message on that social network site, but my internet wasn’t working due to the rain, so we ended up going anyway. Whoops. Oh well. Instead of taking me Saturday, like she said she would, my dad, brother, and she decided to take a trip to Columbia to see her side of the family. Her uncle is in the hospital, not looking good, but I knew she didn’t go there just for him. She went to see her sister and mom. I wouldn’t have minded going. I missed them too, but there was no room.

I’m just happy to have normal food in the house. My appetite increases when we’re “scraping the bottom of the fridge” so to speak. I had lots of coupons, and ended up saving  $35 or so (counting store sales and what not). Not bad. I even have enough left over to make food for the holiday events coming up.

My foot is still hurting. I guess I’m going to try my hardest to stay off it for the rest of the week (exercise wise, though I will “strive” to be more lazy ).

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11/26/11

Saturday:

It’s been a while since I’ve posted here. Sorry for that. I guess I wasn’t in much of a blogging mood. Or I was just being lazy. We’ll just say it was both.

I haven’t been so lazy on my dark fantasy novel, though. After two or so years of writing it, I finally hit 50k on it (today, actually). I’m very close to finishing Part two. I believe there will be four parts to the first book. If anyone is curious, this is NOT the same story I was complaining several blogs earlier about not being able to write. This story has been hit with inspiration, so I’m just “rolling with it” for a while, and leaving my unwritten “masterpiece” on the back-burner for now.

My exercise has slacked to 3-4 times a week. I now do a 4 minute warm-up walk, 6 minutes of running intervals with 1 minute of walking in between them, and then I cool down with a walk until I hit 30-40 minutes altogether (depending on how I’m feeling or if I need to hurry up). My running intervals ends at 16 minutes, so you can do the math. I would try for every day or every other day, but I somehow injured the big toe on my right foot, and it starts to hurt if I’m on it too much. It’s been this way for several weeks.

I haven’t had another driving lesson from mom. Dad doesn’t want me to drive in the field now, because he hasn’t been able to kill any deer, and believes it would scare them away. It’s fine. Mom said I can start taking the Dodge up the driveway when we’re going to take it to town. Hopefully she won’t change her mind.

My brother had to go to alternative school for two weeks. He’s been out for a couple weeks. He didn’t like it, but the sad thing is, I believe he was actually doing well in there. Oh well. There doesn’t seem to be any complaining from his teachers here lately, so he must be doing alright since he’s been back.

I’ve been trying to work on my attitude here lately. I strive to control my temper when it flares up. I also strive to not curse when I’m provoked. I am also trying to be more blunt and honest about what I’m feeling and what I don’t like. Sadly, I can really only do this around my husband, but it seems to be working okay. My anger really only comes out around my husband, because I can vent then. I keep everything bottled up around everyone else. Most of our “disagreements” would start because I would become angry at something he said/didn’t say/did/didn’t do, and he’d have no idea why I was angry. I realized it’s better to be rude or insensitive initially than to have this annoyance fester into rage, and then just explode.

Thanksgiving went surprisingly well. I wasn’t looking forward to it at all, to be honest, but it was actually enjoyable. It was just my parents, brother, husband and me, like always, but we had a good time. I did my walk/run really early then I went over and Mom and I cooked, and we had a pretty good time. It was fun. When we were done, I went back to the house for hubby, and then we all sit down to eat. The food was great. Same stuff we have every year, but it was still delicious. Sadly, my brother refused to eat ANY of it. He said none of it looked/tasted good (though he only tried a bite of like two things). I was dumbfounded. Anyway, the Satellite we subscribe to has a gaming network, and their games were free, so Mom, Hubby, and I spent the day playing them and cracking up. The food lasted three days. Not bad.

Monday:

10/31/11

There’s not a lot to say. It really doesn’t feel like Halloween. I barely got any candy, but will be raiding the clearance candy at Kroger tomorrow. (Yeah, yeah, not exactly diet-friendly, but my sweet-tooth goes on a monstrous rampage around now, and if I don’t get my “fix” I’ll feel like I was ripped off.)

My mom gave me a driving lesson in the dodge today. I drove through the field once. I’m hoping to get another one tomorrow, and do them (if not every day) at least a couple times a week from now on. Of course I’ll lend a little for gas if I do. Honestly, driving wasn’t so bad, but it still feels “abnormal” and “unnatural” for me. I’m really, really hoping and praying this feeling will eventually fade once I get “the hang of it”.

I’ve been slacking off a bit on exercise. My period must have thrown me off, and I still feel a bit fatigued. I walked/ran Sunday (which wasn’t enjoyable, because I heard gunshots all around me from people deer hunting), and did only one day last week.

I’ve been feeling a bit queasy, with a sour stomach and slight headache. Hubby’s been feeling it too, but his was worse yesterday. He had to miss church. Speaking of missing church, the church I attend threw a fun-looking party Friday that nobody bothered to tell me about.

Dad came over Saturday to look at our leak. Turns out, it’s coming from the water-heater, and he can’t do anything about it. He says we need to replace water-heaters, so there’s another thing added to our list of “things we need to buy”. Feels like it just keeps growing and growing.

10/12/11

Wednesday:

I completed forgot to mention that, although my car no longer works, my parents say I can practice in their little, red truck, and that she will actually sit in there with me. I’m nervous and relieved at the same time. I hope it goes well.

10/12/11

Wednesday:

I did about 20-30 minutes of house cleaning early this morning. When I had finished with that, it was just getting light, so I went outside to do my walk. I did 36 minutes, with 6 running intervals of a minute each (except one. I got to 50 seconds and a car was coming) in between a minute of walking. I did a 4 minute warm-up and about 18 or so minutes for my cool-down walk.

My eating was fairly bad, but I wanted to make sure I wasn’t hungry tonight, because I’m stopping all of this late night eating. We got some bad news from ssi last night, they think they’ve been giving us too much, so starting January, they will be taking $67 out until we pay off the $1000 we allegedly were overpaid. Whatever. By, Direct tv, I guess.

To be honest, I’m a bit optimistic about not having Television to watch. I plan to read and write more than I ever have. I only hope this helps me, and I don’t just feel bored and more depressed about it.

Oh, speaking of writing. I found Piers Anthony’s website, and his email address. I sent him my previously published short story and asked his honest opinion. I nearly had a small heart attack when he actually replied back. I guess I didn’t expect him to respond. He said it seemed interesting, but it also seemed incomplete, which I agree with, because the ezine I submitted to doesn’t take long stories, so it had to be short. But he did say it would work as a first chapter to a “wild dark romance” story. I like that idea.

Oh, and for next month: We used the last of the frontline on the cats this evening.

10/9/11

Sunday

Well, today is the start of the church I attend’s Gospel Meeting, so we were supposed to have a huge dinner after services this morning. Guess who didn’t get to go, because her alarm clock didn’t wake her up?

Me.

My mom IMed me on the social network site, saying that she waited as long as she could. Um, I live right freaking next to you … literally a 2 minute or less drive, and yet she couldn’t even come next door, and honk the horn. That would have definitely gotten me up.

Whatever. I’m beginning to expect my parents don’t give a crap about me. Yesterday, I finally got dad to look at my car. But, guess what? Now it won’t even start, and the battery has been charged, and the gas we paid for has been put inside it. My dad is the kind of person that will spend endless hours trying to fix a vehicle, but he’s not going to spend endless hours on my car … Know why? There’s nothing in it for him. He’s freaking selfish.

I’ve lost all hope that I will learn to drive. There’s no other vehicle I could practice with, and I’ve already mentioned that I have no friends or anyone that would teach me. I guess I spent all my chances. Now I’ll never have the life I want.

On a positive note, my walking/running intervals went good this evening. I did a 4 minute warm-up walk, and actually did a full minute of running for each interval, with 1 minute of rest between each, except for the last, which had a 2 minute rest, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do 6 or not. Two cars drove by while I was running, but I’ve decided I don’t care if anyone sees anymore. I’m bettering myself. They can either take the image of my fat-butt running as inspiration or they can make fun of it. Either way, I’ll never know what they’re thinking, so I shouldn’t waste my time caring. I’m doing this for me, and nobody else.