“I will worship, with all of my heart. I will praise you, with all of my strength.”
That’s the first verse of the first song we sang in church this morning. I started feeling convicted.
“I will seek you, all of my days. I will follow, all of your ways.” (verse 2)
Oh my-am I seeking Him? Am I following Him? (If I was, would I be in this sad state that I’m in now?)
“I will bow down, hail You as King. I will serve You, give You everything” (verse 3)
I sat down, bowed my head to my hands, and repented of putting so many things ahead of Him in my life. I know that the Lord had already forgiven me-that was taken care of on the cross. I was feeling bad because I know that in many areas of my life, including my eating habits, I’m not putting Him first like I should. It’s a funny thing, but I know that I know that I know that if I put Him first, everything else will fall into line, EVEN MY EATING HABITS. (note: I’m not eating junk food anymore-but I’m still eating when I shouldn’t.)
I felt like He was giving me a verse, or part of one anyway from Matt 6:33 “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness…” The first part is important to me. “Seek first.” That is action on my part. Is the Lord so important to me that I want to seek out His kingdom and His righteousness? YES. Decision and action required. Oh-and discipline.
What else is important to me? Weight loss is very important to me. BUT I can’t do ANYTHING without the Lord in my life. Jesus said to “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness…”. OK-so, that comes FIRST. Seeking Him.
I Timothy 4:7-8 “…discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness; for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”
I hate the word “discipline”-especially when I have to do this to myself! I remember when my son was visiting from out of town, he told me to “be purposeful” in my actions-from driving to shopping. I think that’s how he is able to get so much accomplished. This is good advice. If I try to be purposeful in what is truly important to me-my relationship with the Lord, and pursuit of godliness, I KNOW that I will lose weight. Why? Because I will be filling that emptiness inside that I try to fill with food that can actually only be filled with the Lord. It’s important that I recognize the difference between spiritual hunger and physical hunger. I’ll write more about that another time.
Posted by sandyfromkirk on January 17th, 2010 under Uncategorized |
Psalm 108:12-13 “Oh, give us help against the adversary, for deliverance by man is in vain. Through God we shall do valiantly, for it is He who will tread down our adversaries.”
Sometimes I think that losing this weight will be impossible. However, Jesus said in Matthew 19:26 “with people this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible.” So, I need to believe that, and lean on the Lord for His strength when the temptation comes to overeat or to eat the things that are unprofitable for me. One line of the Lords Prayer says “lead me not unto temptation”. God won’t tempt us! But He will deliver us from evil (in the case of this subject matter, gluttony or, as I said, foods that are not profitable for me). He always provides a way out. It is up to me, however, to make the decision to walk away.
So, what, or who, is “the adversary” here? Is it food? Probably not. We have to eat, so food can’t be the enemy. God has helped me to stop eating sugar and wheat. When I eat sugary items (ice cream, cookies, etc) I crave more and more, so I knew that I had to stop altogether. I have been tempted, however, to fill that ‘void’ with alternatives-other sweet substitutes. This last weekend it was dates, which were like a quick fix for my sweet tooth. Healthy-but high in calories. I admit that I ate too many of them. (some sugar is made from dates, after all).
I also have not been finding the time to cook and take my meals to work as I should. I blame it on being busy, or other excuses. (Confession-I’ve been spending way too much time in front of the computer, so therefore I haven’t cleaned my house like I should, cooked and prepared meals, or done some other things I should be doing).
Is my adversary ‘time’? No-that’s my fault for wasting time. It’s my decision what I do with my time.
I thought that “the adversary” was the enemy of our soul, who tempts us because he doesn’t want us to reach our God-given potential. It’s our choice to give in to the temptation to do right or do wrong. Eat right or wrong. Use the time right or waste it.
Oh-guess what? That enemy-the enemy of our soul has ALREADY BEEN DEFEATED when Jesus rose from the dead after being nailed to the cross with all of our sins-past, present, and future. Therefore, since I have the Spirit of the Lord inside me, the enemy can’t bother me. James 4:7-8 says “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ” The devil is not my adversary.
So, who is my adversary???? Me, Myself, and I and my own selfish desires. Every day I am presented with decisions to make. When I make the decision to satisfy my flesh instead of pleasing God, that’s when the potential for sin (gluttony) is the strongest. When I submit myself to the Lord, however, I am laying down my pride of saying “I can do this healthy eating by myself” (tried that for years-can’t do it on my own-that’s why I’m fat), and I’m saying “Lord, please help me-I need You, and can’t do it without You.” He honors that submission.
Lord, please deliver me from my own selfish desires and give me the desire to serve You in everything I do, including what I put in my mouth. Amen
Posted by sandyfromkirk on January 11th, 2010 under Uncategorized |
Proverbs 30:8-9 Feed me with the food that is my portion, that I not be full and deny You and say “who is the Lord?”
A few months ago, in October (Halloween, actually) our church had a party for the kids in the neighborhood. I was still eating poorly at that point. That evening, my tummy was uncomfortably full on “food” that really was not profitable for me. I had eaten 1/2 bagel with peanut butter (OK, not bad, except that I’m mildly allergic to wheat and yeast), 1/2 bottle of cider (OK, that’s healthy too), but I also gave into the temptation and ate candy, then some hot chocolate, and also some chili (which was yummy!). But all that was too much for my stomach-I was too full. I was gluttonous. I was quite uncomfortable. I should have STOPPED just as my stomach became comfortable.
A movie was shown, and during the movie, a thought came to me: ” I would rather be hungry and seeking after the Lord than full and feel no need for Him.”
I love when the Lord speaks to me like that. I need more of that. I went home and looked in my bible and found the verse that is written above.
I know that God is calling me to seek after Him than on a diet-and I have alot of weight to lose. The only problem is this-(ooooh, it’s confession time now)-I’m a bit-OK, alot-inconsistent in my time with Him. I have no doubt in my mind that, for me anyway, that weight loss will reflect my time spent with the Lord, because then my mind will be on Him and not on my tummy. Sure I need to feed myself, but there are two kinds of feeding here-feeding on the Word of God, and feeding with food. When I’m so filled up with food, I don’t think about Him, because I’m thinking about how uncomfortable my tummy is. But, if I spend the time with Him and His word, I’ll want more and more to serve Him-and I can’t do that to the best of my ability FAT. I want to be FIT for HIM.
So, this week, my goal to be more consistent with that time with the Lord.
Matt 6:11 “Give us this day our daily bread.” He is my portion.
Posted by sandyfromkirk on January 10th, 2010 under Uncategorized |
I am a bible-believing Christian. God’s word gives me peace, joy, fulfillment, and everything I need to live.
However, if I had been living in obedience to God’s word, I wouldn’t be in the shape (which is round) I’m in now. Gluttony is a sin, and although He has forgiven me of that sin, and Jesus paid the price for my sin on the cross, I still have the effects of that sin -all this fat hangin’ off my bones that I have to deal with.
So now, I need to live in obedience and eat only what my body needs to live. He will provide-I need not fear that He won’t. I read somewhere that sometimes people overeat because they are afraid of when they might be able to eat next, or they’re afraid of where their next meal is going to come from. No fear-He will provide. (I may have to cook it though! I’m NOT a good cook.)
One thing I have noticed is, when I am craving sugar or something my body doesn’t need or shouldn’t have (not just weight loss, but food sensitivities that make me feel sick in different ways), I am, more and more, turning to the Lord, asking Him to take away that craving or that urge to eat when I shouldn’t. He has been doing it too. So, therefore, a little hunger, or craving, is serving to draw me closer to Him. This is a good thing. It’s like a little reminder to pray.
When I was at work last week, I heard Him say to me, “God’s bod”. I know, from the scriptures, that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I know He wants me to do this His way, not the worlds’ way. In other words-no diet. Just eating HEALTHY, and following His plan. (i.e. no gluttony!) and turning to Him when the cravings strike.
Posted by sandyfromkirk on January 3rd, 2010 under Uncategorized |
Weight today: 272, down 6 from my highest weight of 278. Posting that now since it’s the beginning of the year. I don’t know how to add a weight loss widget to my site, but that’s OK. My goal isn’t to lose 120 or so pounds. That is waaaay to overwhelming for me to even think about. It is to lose 5 pounds. Then 5 pounds more. Then 5 pounds more. Just to lose 5 pounds - a whole bunch of times. Losing 5 pounds is doable. So, since it’s the beginning of the new year, my goal at this moment is to 267-perhaps in a couple weeks???? I think I can do that.
Plan will be in future post. Let’s just say temptation is always around the corner. I’m not giving in. It’s not worth it.
Posted by sandyfromkirk on January 2nd, 2010 under Uncategorized |
So, I had decided to go no sugar, no wheat.
OK, actually, God decided for me. A few years ago, He told me to stop sugar and wheat. I argued a bit (ever argue with God?), but I finally went cold turkey (very difficult) and losing weight was quite easy. However, when I disobeyed and started eating those things again on a regular basis, the weight slowly creeped back on. No, no, I’m wrong. It ran up on my body like a greyhound. I’m actually quite shocked at how quickly I gained a great deal of weight.
I found out that I was actually allergic to wheat. Not in a celiac sort of way (although I think that is a possibility, in a mild sort of way, but that’s another story). I had allergy testing 3 years ago that showed I was allergic (probably, more sensitive) to alot of foods, including wheat and yeast, so when God told me to lay off the wheat, He certainly had a reason for doing so. I notice that when I have something with wheat in it, I wake up the next day with a headache. The more wheat, the worst the headache.
The sugar problem–addiction, for sure. I’ll write more on that in the future. It’s so difficult.
Today was a victory day-no wheat, no sugar. Amazing. If I stayed away from those things today, can I do it tomorrow? One day at a time, right? This weight HAS to come off. It will.
Posted by sandyfromkirk on December 29th, 2009 under Uncategorized |
Feeling like it’s a new day as far as my weight loss is concerned.
Weighed myself this morning. 271 pounds. I know that last week the scale said 273, and a couple weeks ago it said (moaned, actually) 278. That is my highest weight ever! A few years ago I thought that 268 was my highest weight ever. I lost alot of weight, then went back to old habits, stopped exercising, and gained it all back again. I’ve heard that often happens when people lose weight. Guess I’ve become a statistic.
When my son was home over the holiday, we had “the talk”. No, no, it wasn’t about sex. Did that, sort of, when he was a kid. He’s an adult now. This time, HE talked to ME…about my weight. Says he wants me around to see my grandchildren. He was gentle, but stern at the same time. I guess it was not unlike a confrontation as if I was an alcoholic. It was a difficult conversation. I was so ashamed of myself. He said I needed a support system. Weight Watchers perhaps.
Not sure what I will do about this support system. I really don’t want to go to WW. That’s one reason why I set up this blog though-so I can keep track of my weight loss journey, and possibly share it with others, in a way, that being a bit of accountability.
I do belong to Curves though, but I haven’t gone for awhile. I’m on my feet at work all day, and too tired. I’m glad to say that I went today after work today though. I only went around twice, but at least I went. I’m glad for that. No more excuses. I’ll try to go at least 3 days per week.
Posted by sandyfromkirk on December 28th, 2009 under Uncategorized |
This is my first post.
I have alot of weight to lose. I’ll weight myself tomorrow, but I think I weight about 273 lbs, and at 5′2″, that’s alot on my feet. (no wonder they hurt so much at the end of the day)
I am, first and foremost, a bible believing Christian. I know that many of my posts will reflect my faith in Christ. Whether or not people read this is OK. I want to be accountable to myself, and I kind of hope that people read my posts, because I hope to be accountable to other people as well. I am accountable to God most of all.
My wonderful son, who is grown, was home over the holiday, lovingly confronted me about my weight issue. He offered to pay for Weight Watchers. I am so busy now, I don’t know if I have time. He thinks I am making excuses. I’m not. I do work full time, and am on my feet all day. I have a membership to Curves, although I’m usually too tired to use it. I have stopped eating sugar and wheat. (wheat gives me headaches), and I’m addicted to sugar. Yup, addicted. So, I had to stop. I have to rely on the Lord for strength in that issue, especially during the holidays, and at work, where there are cookies everywhere.
So, this is going to be a struggle. But I have to do something.
If not now-WHEN?
Posted by sandyfromkirk on December 27th, 2009 under Uncategorized |
