Running Bee

My weight for the first day of the year…We’ll see how many times I can drop the same 12 pounds…Goals are the EXACT same as they were last new year and the one before that, and the one before that…. : )

Actually got 3 miles in today.  Felt so incredible to be back out again.  So far the knee is good, let’s hope this injury is behind me and I can start training again.  Crazy how much motivated you are to eat right do other exercises once you get the running in.  Afraid to step on the scale as I’ve been self medicating with Nutella, but that was yesterday (Okay this afternoon) and I’m moving forward.  Haven’t been logging my food but overall I think it was okay (except for the Nutella). Going to try for a smaller run tomorrow, maybe not push it but I’m just so excited to be back at it. 

Did a brisk walk with dh with a few small sprints.  Felt so good to run again! I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Hopefully my knee will be good to go by the end of the week.  I can feel the pounds piling on the passed 3 weeks but remarkably my mood has been fairly good.  Crossing fingers I can do a good run this weekend

My mileage for the week has been a little lower than I’d like to be seeing how Big Sur is only 3 months away.  I’m getting nervous and feel a bit unprepared.  On the bright side I burned about 2,200 calories running this week, but sadly I ate more than that.  I was downtown near See’s (if you don’t have See’s Candies in your area be thankful…super Yum).  Anyways, I’m not in downtown often, so I thought, be organized and get a few valentine’s day treats for my kid’s teachers, speech therapists, etc…yah, that lasted about 6 hours before I started in on them.  And really, what really irritates me, is I KNOW this is gonna happen, HELLO???  I’ve been me for 40 years now, how the hell did I convince myself that those candies could sit in my house for 3 weeks and not be touched?  I totally set myself up for failure…GRRRRR…..otherwise, the regular eating part is okay.  I don’t have issues staying away from burgers and fries and chips and such….it’s the chocolate that gets me everytime.  Anyways, tomorrow is Sunday, the start of a new week, and we Costco shopped today, so I’m stocked up on lots of healthy choices,  I just need to stick with them.

Literally!  I had coffee with my girlfriend this weekend-we see each other at most twice a year.  But it’s always great to see her, we’ve been friends since high school.  Anyways, where I’m a bit reserved and cautous…she’s not.  Somehow we always end up shoe shopping.  Sunday she managed to talk me into these wild, high-heeled platform shoes.  They are actually cute, but so not what I’d normally where (like a pair of Clarks, flip flops, or running shoes).  Working in kindergarten doesn’t present alot of opportunity for heels.  Anyways, I’m practicing wearing them in the house, being on the short side it is kind of fun adding some height, not to mention I notice that my dusting habits aren’t so great   Here’s a pic of ‘em:I can’t wait for the spring to wear with some jeans and a navy or white t.  Hopefully by spring I’ll be able to walk in them without breaking my neck!  On  the diet front I’ve managed to keep up my exercise inspite of the lashing rain that’s hitting us.  No complaints though, the roof is holding up (knock on wood cause I know we’re pushing it waiting another year) and hopefully it’ll solve our drought issues come summer.  Went to starbucks this morning and just had a zero calorie tea.  Not logging food like I should but watching what I get in my mouth.  Haven’t been buying bags of peanutbutter M&M’s like last week…ugh.  Okay, I promised myself early bedtime since we have to get up extra early with the storm traffic.  Have a great evening everyone

Wow, today has been the biggest waste of space, now its evening and I’m feeling pretty down on myself on everything I could’ve accomplished and didn’t.   Wasn’t really planning on a run since I thought my feet and knee could use the break but didn’t crosstrain on the bike either.  Eating hasn’t been good, and came home from work and took a nap.  DH had taken the boys for the day so I actually had a long afternoon on my own and didn’t accomplish anything except a few loads of laundry.  I know there’s nothing I can do about it now but move forward and make tomorrow worth something more but still, I’m so quick to beat myself.  Okay for today:

Breakfast

1 whole wheat toast, tea, and tall mocha

Snack - I missed

Lunch

1/2 a deli sandwich, tea, some hershey kisses

Snack

apple, more kisses and tea

Dinner

The other half of my sandwich, hoping to skip anymore candy.

Exercise - none but I swear I’ll get my sit ups in before bedtime.  : )

Work and stuff went off as usual.  No run today - resting and plan to crosstrain on the bike once everyone is home from school and fed.   Have tons of housework to get done and I am just not motivated this week to do much of anything at home or diet wise.  Just trying to do as little damage as I can until ‘inspiration’ sets in.  Totally felt fat today getting dressed.  I think because it’s the first mild day we have had and I haven’t had to be bundled up in sweaters and coats (plus the scale’s showing I’m going up).  Just a reminder that if I want to feel good in the spring I need to get a move on…….okay stuff needs to get done if I’m getting on that bike….

Breakfast:

1 cup oatmeal, 2 teas, tall non-fat mocha

Lunch

Leftovers from crockpot chicken, peanut butter M&M’s (I know, I know, I’m a chocolate whore)

Snack

1/2 an Apple and cup of tea

Updated:

Dinner

Leftovers from last night.

Exercise:  Ended up with a 4 mile run with DH.  Along the same trail as yesterday although today I felt stronger on the hilly parts.  I can definitely feel the extra weight I’m carrying.   Oh and my situps.

DH is off tomorrow so we are going to get the kids to bed and watch Slumdog Millionaire.  Will have a cup of tea or 2 with that and possibly some of the dark chocolate baking chips….I’m trying to resist them I swear.  But once the sugar bug gets me it’s an ugly downward spiral.    I feel like I’ve been heading down to rock bottom for 2 weeks now, I just hope I can stop myself.  I have this meditation cd on eating that I listened to over a year ago, when I first kind of started out, it seemed to help me remember to think more before shoving food in my mouth, I think I’ll put it back on my ipod…tomorrow…

DH was off today so we did a run through the state park.  It rained a little the last two nights so some parts of the trail were pretty muddy, I hadn’t slip slided around like that before …. kinda fun like being a kid again.  Of course had I biffed it I’d probably have a different attitude.   Food has been……mmmmm…..just okay.   I haven’t started calorie counting again which I need to add to my New Year’s list I guess cause that’s always a motivator to me if I have to log two bags of peanutbutter M&M’s onto the charts.  Did step on the scale this morning…six times actually (had to make sure it was accurate) each time it came back 3 pounds higher than the last weigh in.  Crap.  That’s why I need to be here.  Dinner is almost ready (crock pot chicken) but here’s today thus far.

Breakfast:

1 whole grain toast, banana, tall nonfat mocha

Snack

mini whole wheat bagel with peanut butter

Lunch

Miso soup

Snack

Yogurt with granola, some dried fruit cube things

Tea with 2% skim milk - 5 cups

Almost forgot the twix bar (so ashamed)

Exercise:  6 mile run and situps.

It’s day number eight of the new year and I’m still looking for a focus/New Year’s Resolutions for 2010.  With the exception of my private entries (which I’m sick of obsessing about) I decided to look at what I did for 2009 so I copied and pasted.    This from my January 1, 2009 entry:

2009 Goals

• Stronger Core (hell lets throw in nice arms too ) - still a work in progress fo 2010
• A big run.  I’m not an overachiever type so I’m going with the 1/2 Mary, but I know if I put my mind to it, I can do a full on one this fall. - This I did!  Marathon completed in October 2009
• Career Focus, pick where I’m going and start finishing the credentials I need - the kids won’t be small much longer.  In reflecting on this one I guess I accomplished this too.  I at least have figured out the direciton I want to go even if I have a ways to get there.
• Get back to God.  I can manage my grief everywhere but Church, but I realized recently how much my kids are suffering not having that Community in their lives.  I need to reconcile my grief if only for them, besides, I miss it too.  Definitely still working on…just not sure if my church works for me anymore.
• I’m going to read this entry in 365 days and despite any falls I have, and poor decisions I make I will be content and happy with who I am.  Most days I think I am happy…pretty sure….seems like I am fighting the blues alot less than I used to at 147 lbs.

So I guess core and the last stubborn pounds, which really aren’t as stubborn as me are my focus yet again.  I’ve given up on the idea of getting that monkey called starbucks of my back.  I’ve accepted my fate as a lifelong junkie and just hope I can order tea on occasion.  So here goes my goals for 2010:

• Start the admissions process for a Fall entry into Grad School.  Some part time or volunteer work that is more appropriate to my degree. Once my TA position ends this summer.
• Running goals:  Become a trail runner.  I’ve decided to swear off the street runs (after Big Sur) and stick to trail running.  My new running goal I think will be a trail marathon this fall. 
• Lets put the core (and arms ) in back in too…gotta have dreams!
• Sort my head out for the ‘private’ entries.  If I can’t figure this out on my own I’ll talk to someone.  Either way I need to resolve it.

Wow, when I started writing I was thinking that not much has changed in the year but really, everything has.  I really did get some where…Whoo hoo!  I really did get somewhere.  Hopefully I can keep the momentum going.  I know I’m a little late but Happy New Year! : )

I don’t know why I’ve been so completely down on myself these past few days but alas it continues, it’s becoming harder for me to keep myself ‘up’.  On top of that I’ve caught ds9’s cold/bug and we’re both home sick today.  I feel just miserable inside and out.  Maybe the 40th birthday thing is bugging me more than I think, all I know is I’m miserable.  Yesterday I managed to get a run in inspite of this cold, actually I felt a bit better afterwards but by the evening I was completely wiped out.  Could not wait for hubby to get home to take some Niquil and get to bed.   I don’t think I’ll be getting out today at all.  I was really hoping to make Friday my rest day….anyways, life continues…..