I’m Ready!

Well - vacation officially began for me Thursday after work - which was wonderful!  But looking back the calorie counting and eating on plan has completely fallen apart.  I am not going to even try to write down the last few days - I will just say that it has not been exemplary.  

That being said I am back on plan tomorrow with a healthy goal of 1275 calories.  I did get out today and did some walking with our two dogs.  As they are both large this was an accomplishment.  We did not walk for nearly long enough - a. my ears were freezing and b. I could only handle them for so long - as we are still trying to figure out how to all walk together (correctly - where I am the one leading everyone).  I think we will try again tomorrow and then once we have all gone together I will drop them off and go back out for another round.  I would like to get about 3 miles in a day.  I need to go back to my aerobics classes - but during my vacation I want to walk with the boys (dogs) and use my ipod.  I would still like to try to complete the couch to 5K program, but one thing at a time.  There is enough time for everything!

I just need to get my calories under control so that any progress that has been made will not be undone.  :)

More tomorrow - good evening!

Today was not a great day.  Went to a luncheon and they had Panera box lunches.  I grabbed a box with a turkey sandwich, chips, and a great big cookie.  The sandwich was good - I ate the smaller half.  The best part about it was the bread, which was focaccia (spelling?) and it was so soft.  I ate a couple of the chips - but then came the cookie.  A great big cookie the size of an open palm.  I ate the whole thing.  The WHOLE thing and it was great.  And a great big splurge.  And quite unnecessary.  But it was great and I never would have purchased a cookie to eat under any normal circumstances.

Oh if it could have just stopped there.  I ended up staying at work until about 7:30 trying to get some things done.  As it got later I just got hungrier and so happened to venture into the break room - where I tried some cheese popcorn (gift from clients) and then had a coke.  What is wrong with me?  How many calories are we up to now?!

Then I came home - and with my time of the month, lack of sleep, a headache that just won’t go away, and lack of any sort of patience - I ate some tortilla chips and cheese dip from a jar.  Not a lot but enough.  Dinner was some leftover spaghetti (I did measure a cup of this) and then some more chips and cheese.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

It is only one day and I should just let it go and go on.  I can easily be back on track this minute - just keep pushing forward - forgive myself and go on.  

So to sum it up here is my calories for the day:

Breakfast: Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal (160), 1/4 cup FF milk (20), WW English Muffin (with a bit of oleo and honey (140)  (Total of 320 calories)

Snack: Granny Smith Apple (80) and 100 calories Cream Cheese Fruit Dip (180 calories)

Lunch: 1/2 Sandwich (400 calories), a couple of chips (60), and the cookie (450 calories)

should I keep going??….

Dinner: I cup spaghetti with 1/4 cup sauce and 1 oz of 99% fat free ground turkey: (250 calories - estimate)

Snack: Tortilla chips (140) and cheese dip (45 - for 2 tbsp), a coke (140), and cheese popcorn (60)

And the GRAND TOTAL:  2045

YUCK.  But I wrote it down so that is a positive.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Well, got through today without eating anything too awful!  Ended up working most of the day at home trying to get some stuff off of my desk, and with my hands busy I stayed out of the kitchen.  I was thinking though, that I had wished that I hadn’t had to work because I would have liked to work on cooking and baking.  I had plans yesterday that fell through and needless to say I didn’t get any more done today.  Oh well, only 4 days of work this week and then I am done!  Done until January 5th - and I can not be more happy.  All that time to just relax, study, bake, and really celebrate the holiday season.  I am looking forward to getting to see family and sleeping in!

So here it is Sunday night, always a bittersweet night as it means that Monday and work are waiting around the corner.  Overall a good weekend.  It has turned bitterly cold here and there is supposed to be bad weather this evening, potentially lasting through Thursday.  Yuck.  I decided to go to the grocery store tonight so that we didn’t need to worry about navigating that trip.  I went for five items and ended up with nearly $100 of groceries.  At least I won’t need to go again for awhile and we will have plenty of options for dinner!  I was thinking while I was at the store that the secret to controlling my eating is having foods in the house that can be snacked on and that are both healthy and tasty.  For instance - yogurt, carrots with fat free french onion dip (ff sour cream and french onion soup mix), fat free popcorn, etc.  I also realized that I need to have some alternatives for dessert - not that I want to give up chocolate entirely, but I think that there should be a nice mix of traditional “sweets” and healthier alternatives.  I was walking through the produce section and found some 100 calorie containers of a cream cheese dip for apples.  I thought that those would be great to make apples more of a dessert and could take the place of something sweeter for less calories.  

Okay - enough chattering here is what I had today - not a great day but it is the weekend!

Breakfast: Weight Control Banana Bread Oatmeal (160), 1/4 cup fat free milk (20), whole wheat english muffin with a bit of oleo and honey (140) (total: 320 - I must say this was very filling. A piece of fruit for a snack mid-morning would be perfect in the future).

Mid-morning - should have had fruit.  Instead had 4 pieces of Russell Stover (300 - yikes, thank goodness those are gone).

Lunch: 1/2 a baked potato, 2 tablespoons of ff sour cream, salsa, and 1 1/2 tablespoon of jarred cheese dip - for a mexi-potato!  This was not a great meal, but I was in the midst of working and didn’t really want to stop.  I am going to estimate a total of 250 calories.

Dinner: We ordered a small Papa John’s Pizza - with tomatoes, mushrooms, canadian bacon - I had one and a half pieces and 2 pieces of their chicken.  Probably 500 calories.  

I drank several large glasses of water today and have had a glass of ice water next to me all day - so that is good.  Didn’t get my milk or enough vegetables in (almost none - again laziness = no vegetables) - but I did spend some time cleaning up the backyard and we took the dogs on a short walk (very short - was not prepared for the drop in temperature) - will try again tomorrow!

Total: 1370 

I noted yesterday that I could have 1,275 calories a day and hopefully lose about 2 pounds a week.  I can have 1,525 calories and potentially lose 1.5 pounds a week.  I figure I will try to stay within these boundaries.  This week will be better as I will be at work and away from temptation!

9:30 p.m. ——————————–

Our cat Muffin came home tonight.  We are not sure but we believe that another family in the neighborhood has been fostering her - feeding her, letting her inside - because she doesn’t always come home.  Once she was gone for a week and just recently she hasn’t been home since I let her out Friday morning.  But tonight as I walked by the front door there her little face was looking into the window by the front door.  On a night like tonight, with the temperatures falling so low and the wind blowing so hard, I would hate to think of her having to be outside (or any animal for that matter).  I am so glad to have her home!

I am so glad that it is Saturday - I do not have to do go anywhere or do anything that I don’t actively decide to do.  I have household chores like laundry, dishes, and some grocery shopping to do - and of course some work, but I don’t have to be in a terrible rush to get everything done.  

I didn’t wake up early enough to get to the Weight Watchers meeting I had been planning on attending - however,  I have still committed to tracking my points today and getting some exercise in.  I have decided to make the Tuesday night meeting my meeting time.  I think that it will be a much better time than Saturday.  Fridays often present the opportunity to go out for lunch or dinner and I would hate to have those experiences ruined by the fear of the scale the next morning.  Tuesdays would allow for a little breathing room and the meeting time allows for me time to get home from work.

I need to buy a new digital camera - nothing fancy just one that can be relied upon to take pictures.  Our camera stopped working last month and I didn’t realize how much we missed being able to take pictures at all.  I think that I can find something that I need at Walmart and I can knock out my remaining grocery shopping while I am there.  

I would like to make some biscotti and some “dragon ears” (which are flavored flour tortillas baked to resemble tortilla chips) today. I have added both recipes to the site in case these sound interesting.  I thought that the dragon ears could be savory or sweet - so I would like to make a couple flavored with cinnamon and sugar which can be enjoyed for desert.  I also need to start some slow cooker lasagna (so good!) for dinner either tonight or tomorrow.  

Ah food - I honestly believe that it should be enjoyed and celebrated.  And by making it I can control the quality and calories while not eliminating any flavor.  After reading through some of the other blogs I noted that a lot of other bloggers are counting calories as well - and so thought I would give that a try - just to see where I am falling.  

Here is what I have eaten so far today - I will update this again later once I have eaten again.  :)

Breakfast: 1 cup cheerios (110), 1 cup skim milk (80), Whole wheat english muffin (140), and a banana (90) - Total calories 420 ( total points - 8 )

Lunch: Okay, didn’t feel like cooking so had a repeat of breakfast without the banana.  330 calories total and a Russell Stover chocolate for 75 calories ( total of 405 calories)

Dinner: Decided on whole wheat rigatoni with some spaghetti sauce, mushrooms, parmesan cheese and a little bit of mozzarella.  I am estimating the total calories to be around 400.

Dessert: 1/2 cup of Edy’s lowfat ice cream - about 120 calories

Total calories: 1345 calories

Water - actually got two very large glasses in and all of my milk for today - 2 cups!  So that is a very big positive!

(Added at the end of the day…) Not great, but not terrible.  Saturdays are so hard - it is so much harder to not want to snack all day.  And my motivation to leave the house and actually do anything is so low right now.  I honestly just want to lay on the couch and watch movies.  I don’t want to work, clean or do anything.  I think that it is due to my complete and utter readiness to have some time away from work - I need vacation!!

And it is about that time of the month which always throws my hormones out of whack.  

Anyhow - the goal for the rest of the evening is to stay out of the kitchen and relax.  I will work tomorrow and finish up any open chores, but today I needed some time to do nothing - and I refuse to feel guilty about that.

Note: Per the dailyplate.com I should limit my calorie intake to 1,275 a day to lose 2 pounds a week.  I think that this is doable (in correlation with WW).  This will be my goal.  

Okay - I see people write out what they eat each day and I think that that is great.  I think that journaling is so helpful. Often I get some of my best ideas for meals by reading what others who are trying to lose weight are eating. And I have found that some people are eating really fantastic food.  

So here is my day so far…

Breakfast: 1/2 cup Rice Krispies (finished the box) and 1 cup Cheerios with 3/4 cup of skim milk, an english muffin (with a small amount of oleo and honey)

Lunch: Starkist Tuna lunch pack (includes 3 oz. can of tuna, a packet of low fat mayo, sweet relish (don’t eat), and 6 crackers

Snack: 2 Russell Stovers and a can of Coke (drank that with lunch - reasoned it was Friday and a reason to celebrate)

Dinner: Hmmm…

Looking at my lunch and dinner I can see that I am missing fruits and vegetables and water.  I see I have some work to do.  BUT - the purpose of this tracking is to improve.  So I am going to think on dinner where I can incorporate fruits and vegetables to help round out the day.

See this is already beneficial.

I never thought I would keep a blog - but I am hopeful that this will help me remain accountable as I begin my weight loss journey yet again.  I am officially restarting Weight Watchers tomorrow - meaning I am going back to regular meetings, counting points, and being weighed regularly.  As much as I would prefer to never be weighed again, I know that the scale is the one factor that truly keeps me in line.  

I was signing up for some additional long term disability insurance the other day at work and one of the questions that I was asked was my height and weight.  Although I never shy from saying how tall I am, I always have to stop and think before I can say my weight.  And when I do say my weight I then feel like I need to offer an explanation or an excuse as to why it is so high.  And then I want to explain that it won’t remain that way, that this is just a phase and that my weight is really only 125 pounds.  Really I would love to be able to say both my height and weight emphatically - with no shame about either.  I would love to feel like I could tell anyone and everyone my weight and never feel a twinge of embarrassment.

I want to be able to go shopping for anything I want without hesitation.  I want to feel attractive and light.  I want to stop the cycle of losing and gaining that I seemed to step into.  I want to be the woman that I envision in my mind.  

So tomorrow the journey officially begins and I want to use this blog to track my progress and keep me accountable.