Well, last night I went back to Weight Watchers.  

I got a new week 1 booklet, an official weight, and a weekly tracker.  It was a tough thing to do…but overall probably the best thing could be done.  

I am failing this weight loss battle currently and I needed to call in some troops.  

The last time that I consistently and effectively lost weight was with Weight Watchers.  I am not saying that it was easy or fun - is weight loss ever fun?  But I can still remember how I felt as the weight lost added up.  I remember beginning each day with my points and deciding how to spend them and being accountable to that - knowing that I would have to get back on the scale.  I remember the pride I felt when I begin to lose weight and I could see it in the mirror, in my face, on my arms, my stomach, my clothes.  I remember sharing my victories with my mother (who reads this blog and who I love dearly) and I remember feeling powerful and in control.

And I wonder how I got back here.  Heavier than I have ever been.

So here we go again.  

And I am ready and hopeful and for the first time in a long time - I look forward to eating - in a good way. I have rediscovered the joy of trying to figure out again how to get the most vegetables I can stuffed into the day without feeling like all I am eating is vegetables or that food has to be boring and tasteless. 

I have determined that I am not going to give up sweets entirely - I will not go to extremes.  Not this time!  I have decided that a dessert (a light one - currently I am leaning toward brownies or chocolate cake made with applesauce instead of oil and served with fat free whipped topping) at the end of the evening meal is the most effective thing to end any further snacking at night.  The sweet ending is enough to satisfy.

I have to get back to the gym and get back on my Couch to 5K program.  I also need to be walking on any days I don’t run (although I would like 2 rest days a week).  I can bundle up and take the boys with me again like I did over my Christmas vacation.  But this will come happen.

It all will come together.  I have no doubt.  

So here we go again.  I was on plan today - I tracked all my points - and so today was a good day.

Daily Menu:

Breakfast: 1 cup raisin bran (3), 1 whole wheat english muffin (2), 1 cup fat free milk (2), oleo and honey (1) Total points: 8

Lunch: Smart ones Fajita quesadilla (4), leftover portabellos mushrooms, zucchini, and homemade salsa from last nights veggie tacos (0), 1 medium low-cal diet cherry limeade (18 calories = 0 points)             Total poins: 4

Snack: 3 bites of brownie = 3 points

Dinner: Black Bean Veggie Burgers (Allrecipes.com recipe) (3), salsa (0), 1 tablespoon of shredded cheese (1), light sour cream (0), homemade potato fries (one baker potato cut into fries and tossed with salt, pepper and 2 tsps of olive oil - then baked until golden) (2), red pepper sticks (0)  Total points: 6

Dessert: Brownie (light) with 2 tbsp of ff cool whip (3)

Total points: 24 (I am over by 1)

Not a bad day after all.