10:30 ish
Well, I’ve solved a problem for work, chatted in email with my boss and I’ve made about 10 quarts of vegetable soup. Sounds like a big deal, but all I did was zoom through the vegetable drawers in the fridge, and pulled out carrots, zuchini, cabbage, spinach, a little piece of butternut squash (pet peeve: Neil made potjie a couple of days ago - why does he always leave one little piece like that - it just vrots in the fridge?), celery and parsely. From the vegetable baskets: onion and 3 cloves of garlic. I washed everything, peeled the carrots quickly - filled the sink up with vegetable peels, and put the washed & peeled veg in a big bowl (10 minutes). Then, put a pot on with a little bit of olive oil, and quickly chopped everything into the pot, starting with the onions and garlic, celery and parsley, then added the carrots, zuchini and cabbage. Opened two big tins of crushed tomatoes, added water to fill the pot. Seasoned as I went along with fresh pepper and salt. I also added some packets of Goya vegetable seasoning. All in all, another 10 minutes. Boom, done, finished.

Back to the PC, and a quick pop in here. The soup is for lunch. I am starving already, and I do not want to scarf down rusks or graze - I HAD to make that soup, or I won’t make it through the day.

There’s enough there to freeze in portions for work, too. That’ll keep me going for a couple of weeks.

7:30 ish…
The week-end was a bust when it comes to eating well for weight loss. I think my PMS is kicking in, too, although it’s hard to tell, since I seem to be all over the place with hormones. But, my boobs hurt and my appetite is huge, and those are my classic symptoms. In any event, I “embraced” them and ate way too much especially yesterday. Jessica brought home some zeppolis and although I have announced that a sweet tooth is not my problem, I ate at least four of that deep fried, fat filled dough, covered in powdered sugar. When there was only one left, I decided, oh What The Heck! and ate it with a sort of grim resignation.

So today is meant to be start-with-a-clean-slate day.
We’ve woken up to about 3 inches of snowfall, and a bitter wind. The town sirens are going off as I type to let the kids know there’s no school. I could work from home, but I think I’ll just go in as soon as our road is plowed.

I don’t think I have S.A.D., although winter does exacerbate feelings of depression for me. Actually, that’s probably true for most people. Two posts ago, I mentioned that I had tried taking medication again; that was in January, but I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t even finish the prescription. To be honest, I haven’t had good experience with medication. It doesn’t seem to make that much difference for me, and therefore, I keep thinking I might as well learn how to deal with it without the meds. I did find that Effexor worked, about two years ago - but I just felt eerily numb. Wait a minute - learn how to deal with it without the meds? I’ve been “dealing” with it for almost my whole life. Oh, I know how to deal. In fact “Deal” is my one word personal philosophy. It covers everything you can think of, don’t you think? Most people who know me would be surprised to know that I struggle with depression - and that is the result of “dealing”. I know how to put on a really good show. Where are the Academy Awards people when you need them! No, I should have said heal, not deal.

As I sit here typing my little blog, I am not depressed. My feet are cold, my back feels a bit stiff because I’m sitting funny, but I’m certainly not in the depths of despair. Ha! I save that for the wee hours!!! I’m trying to decide what to do next. Have a bath, get dressed, go in to the office or work from home?

See now, there’s the perfect opportunity for me to remember how blessed I am. I am thankful that I still have a job, that I live in a nice house (albeit with an ugly bathroom). I can take a hot steamy bath whenever I want to. I can find out what’s going on in the world with a click of a button, I have people around me who I love and who love me. I can work on the problems that are worrying me, and I will eventually solve them.

Food today will be oatmeal and prunes for breakfast. Tuna on wholewheat for lunch, but I don’t know about dinner and snacks. If I don’t get to the office, I’ll take Maya for a really long walk.

I should have made a big pot of vegetable soup - maybe if I stay home, I will.

G’day to you all, may it be filled with many blessings.
Ruby