Keeping the faith
Goals:
Small:
Christmas/Holiday cards - finish today.
Not so small:
5 servings fruit veg.
6-8 glasses of water
2/3 servings protein
exercise at lunchtime
Bigger:
Pay bills
Geez am I boring.
It’s 5:30 am, I’ve been up since 4. I came downstairs to our family room where my daughters had left lights on, including the Christmas tree and the TV was still on too. I tried to watch, but nothing interested me, then I made myself a cup of tea and a slice of toast with Marmite. Then I surfed the web. I go to craigslist because I’m thinking someone out there might be selling a Kitchen Aid stand mixer or food processor, and I want one. I surf the news. I have my google settings tuned for news of Southern Africa, but the news there is always so grim.
I’m in some sort of holding pattern right now. Not moving forward but not quite yet succumbing to depression, either. The not succumbing to depression part is taking conscious effort on my part. Example: Back in October, I had told my mom I wanted to go to a choral concert which was going to be on December 13th in Hoboken, and that I hoped she and I could make a night of it. I’d take her to dinner and we’d go to the concert afterward. My friend J. wanted to come too. As always, come the day, with every fiber of my being I did not want to go. All I wanted to do was climb into my bed and burrow under the covers. But…I didn’t. As always, once out the door, it was fine. My mom enjoyed herself, too. My friend J. is generally a very upbeat person, ready and willing to try anything. Sometimes it exhausts me to be “up” for her. I know I don’t have to be “up” for her, but I try anyway. Turns out that I’m the one who benefits.
I can hear rain outside, it sounds like icy rain. Yesterday was so beautiful, too.
Did I say that J. got the job at the salon? She started on Saturday. Good for her. Touch wood, it works out. I’m looking forward to having my girls all together in a week or so. I’ve planned the menu for Christmas dinner. Shoprite has prime rib on sale for $4.99 a lb - I will be taking advantage of that sale. Some time this week I’ll pick up a roast and then age it at the back of my old downstairs fridge, which is very cold. I’ll do the roast, roast potoatoes, lots of fresh vegetables and I’ll go the whole hog and do a Yorkshire pud. Seeing as we’re doing this English style, I’ll make some custard and serve it with a fruit compote and creme fraiche. Not slimming food, but if we exercise portion control, not too bad either.
So good to hear that J got the salon job. I am so envious of her. I can barely fix my own hair.
Your Christmas dinner sounds lovely as always. You know there is a shoprite near our house here too. not a big deal. but I will think of you when I am there.
I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling blue. Hope you feel better soon. I wish I could hold your hand a little. Can’t anything be done about your lack of sleep? maybe that is what is making you feel down. Also the stress at the job sounds killer too. All we can do is hope and pray and hang on. Sometimes that sounds so pathetic and helpless. But that’s the only way. isn’t it? the cycle will turn. it will. definitely.
meanwhile love and hugs and I am thinking of you.
iniya
Your dinner sounds DIVINE Ms. RJ…just glorious.
Congrats to baby J and her new gig
Yep hon - sounds like we’re both surfing the wave. Thank goodness we’re both on top!
I feel you on the getting that ‘get up and go’ - I honestly love laying around the apartment in my bunny pants t-shirt without even opening the shades. I know that’s my blue side showing through… I also know that I’ve been happy when I have been ‘forced’ to do something. I’d always rather stay at home with myself you know?
We’ll ride this out Ms. rj - you and I
We’ll be alright… sleep deprived freaks that we are…
geez.
when you think about all that we do being sleep deprived - it’s actually quite amazing and commendable.
damn.
we really gotta get some goddamn rest.
xo
Ruby,
Thank you soooo much for the kind words. I have come to depend on you.
I am worried about your lack of sleep. Couldn’t you take out your wand and summon the sleep fairy?
Seriously, maybe you should see the doc now. I agree with Annie, all that you do with so little sleep is awesome. Sending some sleep across the ocean.
love,
ini
When I was growing up our Christmas dinner was always aged roast beef with potatoes and vegies…and plum pudding! Sad to say I have not continued with the tradition and will be having turkey, as there is still one in my freezer. I made old English fruit cake, however, and it has been steeping in brandy and sherry for a few weeks. We’re having a couple of friends over on Christmas Eve, and I am singing at the 11:00 service. You too, I bet. Happy Christmas. Glad you got out and enjoyed some music.
Lynard
Hugs Rubes, and Merry Christmas! Hope 2009 is the best year ever for all of us….
xoxoxox
Hope all is well…Merry Christmas Ruby!
Merry Merry Christmas Ms. Rubyjean
I’ll be there in spirit to enjoy that lovely custard and all the other goodies you are whipping up….
You’re a doll
xoxox
Oh Ruby, you dear dear sister, it was so awfully nice of you to remember my first day at work. I just love you. And the day was fine too.
I guess you are now busy with Christmas. Do let us know how it all went.
love,
iniya
Hey Ruby I hope your Christmas went well.
I understand how it is with depression. I know that feeling of just wanting it all to go away. I am learning new ways to cope with it all and one of them is to remind myself “this is just temporary, this bad feeling will go away” and the other is to just make myself do stuff. It turns out, as you say, to be fun when you get there, it’s just the getting that can be so hard. Take care and I hope the coming year brings you health and happiness and a lifting of the weight of depression
sendin’ ya hugs and kisses ms. rj - miss ya
xo
Happy New Year Rubes. Best in 2009 for you and yours.
Hugs
xo
All right Ms. RubyJean - come back soon
Miss ya!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hey Ruby Jean. Just logged on, finally and see you have been MIA. I have been missing my gals and so you better log on and let us know how you all are. Big hugs to you my friend and know we all love you and miss you when you are out of the loop.
Hugs, Bobbie
Rubes where are you? Hope you are surviving the winter weather and end of holidays. Happy New Year, my friend. write soon..miss you!
Dearest Ruby Jean - Sandy,
I just want to say hello, and happy new year! I hope all is well with you and the family. I suspect that the rest of the 3FC bloggers are missing you as much as I am. Please rejoin us when you are feeling like it. Did I mention how much I am hating this winter? The weather, I mean - just abominable, isn’t it? We had an icy rain falling all night and it took me twenty minutes this morning just to get down my street, which has a slight incline and was like a skating rink. Ack! Oh well, best wishes to you and yours, and may your days be cheerful and bright…and your Christmasses green instead of white. (mine, too!)
Hugs,
Z
Happy New Year Ms. RJ - love ya!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxoxoox
Another one sending you a shout out, wishes for a happy new year, and a BIG HUG!!!
We’re here for you when you’re ready to come back.
Don’t forget 3FC deletes blogs after 30 days so I think that means early next week for you… Just make a little “I’m alive don’t kill my blog” post & you’ll get another 30 days to decide if you want to come back or not.