I have the day off today, in honor of voting day. If I could vote, I would. This year I was supposed to apply for my citizenship, but with one and another drama, I didn’t get to it. Sounds like a big old excuse, but I am making it my goal to have applied by next year. I was born in Canada to South African parents, but I’ve lived here for most of my life, and spent 13 years in Africa. It’s a funny thing to have a frame of reference that encompasses two different cultures. I’ve always felt betwixt and between, even my accent changes depending on whether I’m speaking to my mother or a friend. It’s time to get off the fence, and I’ve made my choice. It only took me 40 years!

I’m still slogging it out doing my walks at work during lunchtime. I love being outside, but I still HATE the part where I have to change back into my work clothes feeling less than pristine. At least now that the weather is cooler, I’m not as sweaty. At the last office building there was a shower, and I took full advantage. This time there is a beautiful, state-of-the-are gym on the premises, but I haven’t joined yet. There are showers there, but I’m doing things on the cheap. Walking around the beautiful grounds of this new complex is 100% free, and in this economy, with job cuts looming in our company again, I feel like it’s better to wait and see. Plus, the trees are just glorious outside, and the air is fresh and bracing. So, I bought unscented baby wipes, and poured some of my expensive Este Lauder toner on to them, so they smell lovely, and just “rinse” when I get back from the walk. We usually do 40 to 45 minutes of really brisk walking, and when I wear the pedometer, it comes up to between 4,200 and 5,000 steps, pedometer readings not being a very precise science. I thought the idea of pouring toner onto the wipes was fairly brilliant. It won’t be Estee Lauder next time, just Ponds or Oil of Delay, as long as it has a fresh scent.

Food wise, it’s just the usual….trying to be very conscious of what and how much I’m putting in my mouth. Luckily I do not have too much of a sweet tooth. There are always cakes and muffins on offer at work, and in this new office the snack table is smack-dab in front of my desk. So far I’ve managed to handle it.

Family wise, I called my sister today. I am still, what, not angry, but really disappointed that she and her new husband couldn’t have just apologized to my mom over how badly her visit went with them in May, June this year. My mom is still hurting, and if there is one thing my mom is good at, it’s nursing resentment. I can’t stay mad forever though, and although I still feel disappointed, I can’t just never call my sister. I do love her, I always will.

My own family wise…J. is still being so difficult. I find myself biting my tongue pretty much most of the time when we’re together. We seem to clash terribly. I see her as someone who is super sensitive on the inside, and has developed a brittle shell for protection on the outside. Thing is, most people that you meet in this life who have those brittle shells, the ones you come across who are ever ready with the nasty or sarcastic comment, probably started out the same way. At some point you no longer say, Ag, shame, it’s just because he/she has a little chicken heart beating under there. At some point, the person is just thought of as a jerk. The thought of this happening to J. breaks my heart.

My other two dd’s are fine, and dh is fine. He is working too hard and I want to get him booked in for a complete physical. Typical of some men, he is resisting. Good thing I’m the boss.

My mom is okay. She and I seem to have parallel emotions. When I’m up, she’s up, when I’m down, she’s down, or maybe it’s visa versa. Right now she is in classic Iris mode, mad at everyone. She has missed out on a lot of good things in life - opportunities for friendship and bonding because of that rigid sense of what she thinks is right or wrong and what she deserves. It’s too bad, but what’re ya gonna do?

Maya the puppy may be going into/onto (what is the right terminology) heat again. I hope not, I was hoping to have her spayed this month. She is very cute and smart, and yes, I’ve told you this before.

But I still miss my Shelby-lou.