Well, hello there.

It’s teary old me. I’ve just hung up the phone from talking to my eldest daughter, who is living on her own now and I think is very lonely. I want to take her up in my arms and hold her and kiss her to pieces, and she sure wouldn’t appreciate that, aye?

You know, I had such a lonely childhood and growing up, aways the new kid, always odd, with the wrong accent, the wrong clothes, just by myself. My mom loves me, I know, but hugging and kissing and positive affirmations are just not her thing. My dad was very loving, but hardly ever there. I look back at them and know that they did their best. I must have inherited the whole touchy feely thing from my dad though. My girls never stood a chance. I just wanted to inhale them from the moment they were born. Shelby had to endure my kisses too. She was the sweetest, gentlest dog, but always seemed to need her space, and I hope I can be truthful in saying that I recognized it and gave it to her. I tried to reign myself in. Her fur was so soft! But when it comes to my husband and my children, to this day, I still grab whoever is handy and plant kisses on my favourite spot. To me, they all smell so delicious. They are (mostly) good natured with me. You wanna know something interesting? Although my mom has always been physically aloof, I just grab her and plant kisses on her nice soft face and neck whenever I need to. She has softened so much over the years, it’s quite amazing.

Coming home tonight and not having Shelby be there was so hard. Harder than I anticipated. I will be arriving at work tomorrow again with puffy eyes. I made “comfort” food for the family: meatballs, mashed potatoes, carrots and peas. Personally, I thought my meatballs were tasteless. My youngest daughter likes things as plain as can be, and we even went back and forth over onion. I wanted to grate some onion into the mixture for the meatballs, she wanted me to used onion powder. Using a powder or something from a can goes against every fibre of my being! But I did it that way for her. At least she actually ate something.

Am I boring you? So sorry.

My life is small and mundane. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Friends, I think I have made it to the next decade - my scale records anything from 177.5 to 180. I think this means I have finally broken through my plateau. I am not very hungry, which helps.

Still, this weight is more than 30 1bs from my goal.

Hmmm. I’m trying to kick up the exercise and drink more water. I am careful with portion sizes. Those are my only real secrets. This is going so painfully slowly!