Round

I try to think of my weight loss efforts a week at a time.

And I try to focus on changing my behavior in ways that will make me healthier and ways that should eventually pay off at the scale. Unfortunately, our bodies don’t always cooperate by losing in a straight line, and sometimes a few bad days won’t register any change on the scale… My approach is about putting the scale in perspective — as only a piece of the information I use to assess how I’m doing.

So each week before I weigh in (and usually the night before), I review my week. What I ate, how I exercised, did I keep up my motivation, etc. The progress made on goals if I had any. I congratulate myself with ies when I did well, and I look for how I could have done something different when I made poor choices - especially in situations that could repeat themselves.

That assessment of how I did becomes the REAL valuable information for the week. I then know, with certainty, how well I’ve done and what I need to work on. The scale becomes only a small, secondary piece of info. If I lose and I know my week was full of errors, I don’t get too excited, and if my week was great but the scale doesn’t move I know the scale will catch up w my good behavior down the road and I don’t take it too seriously. I cannot overstate the importance this has had for me, as I’m usually a slow loser with many plateaus, and if I were to just go by the scale I might just give up in frustration. Focusing on what I am doing - not what the scale is saying - keeps ME in control, and the motivation high.

At the same time I also think through the week ahead - what days or meals will be challenging, how will I deal with them, etc. What things can I work on to stay motivated, eating well or exercising regularly? What days and when can I plan to exercise? I try to keep my goals for improvement to no more than 5, and I generally keep the goals in place until I’m pretty sure they’ve become habit and I can keep that going easily and add something else in.

I used to do this in a spiral notebook back in the day when I lost from 250 to 167 — I did it for about 2 years almost never missing a week. I’ve come back to it at some point on almost every serious weight loss attempt I’ve made since then, and seeing it come back these past couple of weeks has been really encouraging, as for me it’s a sign that I’m serious about this and that I’ve accepted to be in this routine for the long haul.

Several years ago I lost a significant amount of weight, qualifying me to join the National Weight Control Registry. I am proud of the fact that I have kept of *most* of the weight I lost, and I am proud to be a member of this group of people who have lost weight and kept it off.

So in today’s mail what do I receive, the 3-year on questionnaire. How are you doing? Where is your weight now? What are you eating? Uhhh, where is the nearest rock for me to climb under? Until 3 months ago I was EXTREMELY PROUD of having kept my weight around 185 for years. I am at my HEAVIEST right now (or heaviest in over 5 years anyway), and I pushed into a range I thought I would never see again - out of Onederland and into the 200’s. 202 to be exact (although that was 3 weeks ago, and I think the slap of reality has probably shaved a digit or two off of that).

But for research sake I completed the questionnaire, warts and all. It’s no use to the researchers to have lies, and I’m sure I’m not the only member to have had a relapse. All that info is important to them figuring out how people are (or are not) successful. And the glass can also be seen as half-full : I am still PERMANENTLY down 50 pounds.

There was one question which really made me think. My answer today was the honest truth of the past few years, but a change in the answer could be a real help for me.

“How much would a weight fluctuation of 5 lbs affect the way you live your life”

___Not at all

___Slightly

___Moderately

___Very much

Today I checked “Not at All” because reality is, I knew I was gaining and I didn’t do much about it. Because it’s only a small fluctuation.

But what if I think of my weight in 5 pound increments, and each number being a firm line to not cross over again? As soon as my weight gets into the 190-194 range, that would mean ACTION if the needle moves above 195. Not a bad way to think of it, and it should help me to maintain.

I am someone who is both on the journey to a healthy weight, and also simultaneously living as both a victory and a failure.

My victory : I successfully and permanently lost around 60 pounds (high weight of 250+, where I lived for all of my 20’s and then some). I have successfully maintained my weight below 195 for the past 4 years. For this accomplishment, I am a member of the National Weight Control Registry.

My failure : I never achieved my ultimate weight loss goal of 150 pounds. I briefly touched 163, but quickly regained 20 pounds upon taking an international transfer with my company. Since 2004 my weight has been +/- 5 pounds of 190.

My journey : I learned a TON about weight loss & weight control over the years. I know things that work for me, and things that don’t. I don’t always put that knowledge to use. I have learned a relatively ‘healthy lifestyle’ approach that works without too much difficulty to maintain my weight at around 190. I have not been successful in shedding more than about 15-20 pounds since I’ve been in France, and each time I’ve lost, I have always regained.

My motivation : I would like to be at a lower weight for health reasons (long term disease prevention, short term back health & fertility) and also for ‘ease of living’ reasons (buying clothes in normal sizes in this country of SMALL women). I want to be happy with myself & see the beauty of myself at all sizes.

I have been fat all of my life, and have some deep-seated emotional issues around my body image & self-love. I do not think it is a coincidence that I found True Love only after I had done major work on my body — I became more confident and accepting of myself as I lost weight and kept it off, which allowed me to be open to love in my life. I am recently married.