Round

This week has been a bit more challenging than is ideal.  Last week went much smoother, even though I was traveling, probably because I was doing more checking in with myself.  I probably need to work on that.

Last weekend worked out well in large part because I planned for it on Friday, so I’m doing that again today.

Friday night : home alone w the hubby!!! A nice change of pace, as we’ve been MUCH too busy recently.  I did manage to buy something for dinner yesterday before my 24 hour trip to London, so dinner is now in the oven.  Easy as long as I got that done.

Saturday : Will get a nice long gym session in tomorrow, and otherwise eat normally.  We have theater tickets and will eat dinner out somewhere, but I’m confident that I can handle that well.

Sunday : Morning gym session and normal food at home.  I’ll stop by the market but only for Sunday & Monday, as after that we’re gone for almost a week to Berlin.

Ahhh…. feeling better about it already.

Next week exercise could be tricky but I’m making sure to bring the big suitcase so I have room for gym clothes, just in case.

Well, as is always the case when I don’t post my weigh-in results on a Monday, I didn’t like what I saw.  I give myself a weigh-in do-over on Tuesdays when the Monday number isn’t to my liking.  If Tuesday is no better, I suck it up and write it down.

This week I *did* see the scale move down.

But it wasn’t a nice one pound drop, and I have only been following full pound movement in my weight for the past year.   But I’ve been thinking about allowing for reporting “half pounds” for several weeks now, and this week’s weigh in pushes me there.

My weight was 185.4 on both Monday & today.  My scale actually measures in .02 of a pound, but you’re not going to see me following OUNCES when I know how much my body weight fluctuates, so half a pound is the smallest increment I can live with and stay sane.  I can also see progress, and it helps that the rounding off line is so easy.  I actually never take the rounded number - I make sure I’m safely arrived at a number before recording it, so 185.4 can be recorded as 185 1/2 but not as 185 in my book.  I still have half a pound to lose before I consider myself at 185 (185.0, 184.8, 184.6 will all be recorded as “185″ for me).

I’m making the switch to allowing half-pound increments to keep myself motivated, because my weight loss is slow.  It’s not newly slow, it’s not freakishly slow, but it is pretty consistently slow.  That’s okay, I’m in no rush, and as I commented to someone this morning, I strongly prefer to lose slowly and keep a high baseline metabolism instead of cutting my calories to freakishly low levels, losing a bit quicker, and then having to live in maintenance on 1000 calories a day.  No thank you.  Slow consistent weight loss is much better.

I lost half a pound last week while traveling for business most of the week, being really tired, not always having good food choices available, and basically making the best of it.  If I can lose half a pound during weeks like that, it’s not so bad, since weeks like that are only half of my reality.  The other half of weeks are easier.

Well, my weekend was a success and this week should be okay now that I’ve thought it through.

Challenges, solutions & focus opportunities :

• The coming week has plenty of challenges - two dinners out, one at a restaurant (which is manageable) the other at someone’s house (much less manageable).  For the dinner at the friend’s I’ll bring a healthy snack to eat on my way there, and know I have good choices at home, so if what’s for dinner doesn’t meet my diet I’ll just push it around the plate a bit.
• Some travel, which will be 2 lunches, one dinner & one breakfast on the road.   All those are situations I know how to deal with, and I should be fine.  I probably should grab a nice salad at the train station for the trip home - a good snack, full of veggies & knowing I’m planning that should make the second day’s lunch easier to manage.
• I get back fairly late on Friday, so dinner that night will be either takeout or maybe I’ll get it together to have something ready to go when I get home.  There are some decent takeout options that I like, so it’ll be okay.
• We have far fewer commitments for this coming weekend, and I’m hoping to catch up on relaxing… and maybe some organizing too.

I should be able to get in plenty of exercise - at least that’s my plan.  I’m going to the gym tonight and then at least one of Tuesday or Wednesday morning.

Last week I had 3 goals :

1) Maximize Relaxing : I did well on this - it helps to have it in focus.  As my life is more stressful these days for a variety of reasons I’m going to continue this goal this week.

2) In-room exercise (while at hotel) : I did NOT do well on this. I had longer days than usual and felt really tired all week (probably because I was up so early on Monday).  I did 10 min of ab work on Tuesday night but that’s it.  I’ll need a different plan for this in the future - something easier to achieve and probably more specific.  But just a babystep.  I’m putting this goal on hold because I won’t be back in Munich for any length of time until sometime in April.

3) Adjust to hunger : I give myself credit for doing pretty well on this. Anything to do with attentive eating and listening to hunger etc is really hard for me, so any kind of progress on this front is good.  Long term I’d really love to be someone who eats when she’s hungry & stops before she’s too full.  Doesn’t that sound like a good goal? Right now I do a lot of “defensive” eating for *in case* I get hungry.  I made some small progresses on this, including one night when I ate a snack around 7pm (before dinner) but by the time I got to the hotel at 10pm I realized I was thirsty and tired but not really HUNGRY so I just drank a ton of water and went to bed.  I almost never skip meals so I thought this was a good thing to make progress on.  The goal will make a reappearance in the future, but not this week.

Goals for this week :

1) Focus on relaxing

2) Go for FOUR exercise sessions this week.  With a short business trip & two evening events four sessions is a stretch, which is why I’m making it a goal.

3) Let go of the daily weigh-ins.  I will report my weigh in tomorrow and then not get on the scale again until Monday.  I know from this weekend that this will be hard for me - breaking the daily scale routine is not going to be easy.

What’s your plan for the week?  More challenges? Or more focused?

I’ve had a decent week.  Pretty much stuck to healthy eating but exercise was lacking.  I’ve done well on the Relaxing front, and it really helps me mentally to link that in to my whole ‘healthy living’ mindset.

I also pushed the scale under the bathroom vanity this morning.  It’s going to come out only once a week (well, that’s the plan).  I’m stopping the daily weigh ins for now, and pushing the scale out of the way is necessary, because when it’s in the middle of my bathroom I have a tendency to step on it every time I walk by it… not healthy for my head at all.

This weekend should be full of fun relaxing activities but I want to make sure I get in exercise & lots of sleep too.  I’m also going to try to have my food be really under control, because this weekend it looks like most meals will be at home & without friends over (therefore fewer temptations).  I bought lots of gorgeous organic produce this morning plus some meat at the butcher and several French cheeses so we’re well-stocked for good meals at home.

Weekends are often one of my biggest challenges, so it’s nice to find one that can actually be a help not a hurdle to the bigger picture weight loss goals.

A few months ago I started doing separate planning for weekends vs for the whole week and I think it really helps me.  I used to plan the week on Mondays (well, I still do) but now I also try to look specifically at the weekend on Friday because it helps me keep a plan to manage any challenges in mind, and helps me keep my eye on the prize.  Monday morning weigh-ins are probably the most important factor in having good weight-loss weekends, but the second factor now is awareness & a bit of planning on Fridays.

I’ve been feeling more stressed these past few days, so it’s a good thing I’ve been trying to put an emphasis on relaxing.

I’ve meditated daily. 

Yesterday I called a friend and that was really helpful.

I’ve tried to sleep a bit more.

I’m drinking tons of tea, especially green tea.

The other day I went for a walk at lunch and really enjoyed listening to music on the way.

I’ve listened to lots of podcasts on my iPhone while in my hotel room this week too.

I would have loved to take a bath but my room this trip had a shower not a tub so that was out - but I did enjoy my nice shower gel which has almond oil in it & leaves me feeling all slippery.

I’ve tried to mainly eat foods that I actually LIKE as well as fit my diet, because taking pleasure in eating relaxes me too.  I’ve not always had success with that - a lot of what’s on offer here in Germany isn’t my favorite, but I do the best I can. 

I smile while I type because I’m wearing the rings that fit again that remind me of my wonderful husband and his generosity & good taste & how lucky I am to have him in my life.

I have a magazine ready for my flight home to entertain me & get my mind going in some new directions.

I would have benefited from releasing some stress through exercise but I’ve had long working days and been very tired this week, so my good intentions to do exercise in my hotel room this week have largely gone unfulfilled - but I forgive myself, so that’s okay.

I’ve enjoyed NOT having a scale to hop on every morning, and I think I’m getting ready to give the scale up for a few weeks.  I “officially” weigh in every Monday but really get on the scale pretty much every day when I’m home, just to “see how I’m doing” but being away from the scale I’m realizing that even that does add some stress, and I’m pretty sure I’m in the groove enough to be able to stay on track without the scale every day.  I think I’m going to put it away and only pull it out Mondays for a while - and see how that goes for me. 

Well, not only is the weekly planning cycle working well for me, it seems like the “week of relaxing” was exactly what I needed — the plateau busted, I lost a pound.

That brings my total weight loss to -35 pounds since starting on this round of weight loss.  Today the scale showed 186, putting me at another -5 pound marker, and this is also the weight where I hit -15% since starting from 221.  Not bad at all, especially when you consider that it’s been a very Low Stress Weight Loss approach, with plenty of indulgences, weekends away, vacations & more than my fair share of life stresses.  Yet the weight loss has been pretty steady all along.  A few plateaus (one just ending) and a few small bounce-ups from IVF, vacation & the holidays, but nothing major and nothing that really breaks a very pretty trend if you take the long-term view.  Which I do.

In addition, last week was nice.  It was nice to be in town and not traveling, nice to be able to string a lot of focus days together for both exercise & diet, and nice to be able to focus on relaxing.  Candles, tea, bubblebaths, music, movies, theater, opera.   I didn’t make it to the pool - maybe I’ll try for that next week, but I enjoyed thinking of ways to pack even more self-indulgence (of the non-caloric kind) into each day. 

This week? Another travel week.  Goals for the week :

1) Keep up maxin’ the relaxing : I’m trying to get myself to focus more on this

2) In room exercise here at hotel in Munich : Another opportunity to do some workout videos on the iPhone - I have an abdominal workout I haven’t had the courage for, maybe I’ll try that.   Definitely want to do yoga each day too (luckily the yoga videos are very short so it’s great for a beginner and great for scheduling). 

3) Adjust to hunger : I have a tendancy to eat defensively when I travel — eating to avoid being hungry later, to avoid facing temptations.  Often that means I overeat.  This week I’d like to do better on this, and just deal with hunger if it arises.  I have plenty of healthy snacks in my office & suitcase, so no need to worry so much about hunger that might not arise.

I went for a full physical this week.  My company pays for a top-to-toe physical done at the American Hospital every few years, and it’s something I’ve put off for a long time.  It includes eye tests, hearing tests, breathing tests, EKGs, all the usual prodding and poking by a doctor or two, and about a gazillion vials of blood and other bodily fluids.

I first had this done in 2006 and am ashamed to admit I was actually called back for this follow up one in late 2008 but for scheduling reasons I pushed it into 2009, then I felt guilty about my weight being so high that I rescheduled the appointment, then I was traveling on several dates I’d rearranged it for, then I found out about endometrial cancer & was seeing doctors all the time and didn’t think it was a good time for this, and so finally now have gotten past the healing phase from the hysterectomy and booked it into a non-travel week to finally go.

I was glad my weight was back to within 10 pounds or so of my visit a few years ago - I’ve lost over 30 pounds in the past year, so while I was expecting to get a doctor’s lecture about managing my weight, I knew it would be quite different if I was clearly showing I was actively managing it instead of putting the pounds back on.  If you’re here reading a weight loss blog you can probably relate to the guilt over weight as you face the doctor.

The doc was really nice and the tests all went well.  I assume the bloodwork was mainly normal (don’t have it back yet, but got no phone call).

I was faced with the “typical French breakfast” as I had remembered.  You show up fasting & first thing they take blood, then they give you breakfast & then an hour or so later they take more blood (to measure your glucose & insulin after eating).  It’s not as scientific a method as giving someone a glucose drink to choke down (as they do w pregnant ladies) but you’d have a bunch of rioting French business people on your hands if you tried to give them some disgusting drink instead of breakfast for scientific accuracy.  Food in France is not to be trifled with, breakfast included, and this is a posh hospital catering to rich companies, so they’re not going to rock the boat.

When I had my first exam several years ago I was in active dieting mode and I remember having just the tea and a small plain yogurt for breakfast, because everything else on offer didn’t fit with my diet.  Of course that meant that the blood test was meaningless, as I hadn’t challenged my body with sugar, but I didn’t care.  I always thought my first real glucose tolerance test would be when I was pregnant, but of course now that will never happen and so I realized I should grab the opportunity to see what is up.

I’ve been dieting for geez, more than half of my life, and one of my iron-clad rules is not to drink my calories.  I don’t drink juice.  Haven’t for years, except very occasionally.  Like about two or three times a year.  Even when I’m not “actively dieting” this is a basic rule of living I’ve adopted.  And of course I’ve been eating carb-restricted for many months now, meaning the typical French breakfast of bread with butter and jam is not on my radar either.  But for the French, the typical breakfast really is a good glucose tolerance test, as it is based on white French bread, sugar-loaded jam, butter, juice & coffee or tea - to which most people also add sugar.

So you know what? I went for it.  I mean, free medical testing is free medical testing and I don’t know when I’ll get another opportunity so I drank the juice (nearly gagging it was so sweet) and happily ate the bread with butter & jam for the first time in many months.  The bread was good too, which I wasn’t expecting. Had a few spoonfuls of yogurt, drank my tea (no sugar however, I don’t like it sweetened).  Had the blood drawn again, finished the rest of the exams, and set out on the rest of my day.

The one high-carb meal had no noticeable effect on me.  I wasn’t extra hungry later, didn’t see anything shocking on the scale, and had no trouble being back in carb-restricted land from the next meal onward.

It was an interesting experiment - not only will I see in a week or so what kind of glucose response my body had, but it also opened up a degree of meal flexibility for the future.  I’m not much of an all-or-nothing thinker, and believe in approaching dieting in moderation.  When I really crave something I have it, and when it’s a special event I enjoy it - and then get right back on track.  But I hadn’t dared try that approach with breakfast, fearing it would open up Pandora’s box for a day, but this week’s experiment left me confident that I could have a special event breakfast without any real worries.

That’s not me, and those aren’t my rings, but it’s starting to be a possibility.

I’ve always had fat hands, fat fingers.  I’ve blogged about it, because the fat of my fingers was problematic as I gained wait.  Most of my life I avoided wearing rings.

Then I met my husband. Way before we got engaged he gave me these rings :

They are very pretty.  They were also given when I weighed about 185, and so they’ve been out of circulation for a few years.  The pink is my favorite but the stone is loose & I don’t wear it because it needs to be repaired.   And when I was losing weight from my mid 180’s setpoint, as I got to 175 the rings were all too big & I was considering having them resized down.  Then came the Big Years & these rings were a distant memory.

Of course, I also have an engagement ring & wedding band.  Those were sized for a 195 pound me, and as I went up in weight the fat kind of settled above the rings — making taking them off impossible.  I’ve been worried at every medical procedure that they’d force me to get them off (somehow) & then I’d not be able to get them back on.  This past surgery in November is the first time I wasn’t worried about that — I slipped them off & gave them to my husband & put them back on 24 hours later, no sweat.

Last summer my husband gave me another 2 rings.  I had one sized for my middle finger, the other for the ring finger of my right hand.  I weighed 200 at the time & chose a size ring that was tight but wearable.  They’re now wearable, but not tight. 

There are so many ways to see progress even if the scale seems stuck!

I have a plan for this week, and it’s to enjoy myself.

I want to take a bubblebath.

I want to go back to the pool and swim (which I haven’t done in many months).

I want to watch a few movies, and listen to some music, and drink good tea & light a few candles, and generally just slow down and enjoy life.   I’d like to meditate more regularly this week too.

I’d also like to cook some this week, as I’ve gotten out of the habit recently with all the travel.  I now enjoy cooking, and miss it when I don’t do it.  After being away all last week, we ate out every night this weekend (including Sat), sampling French bistro fare, Morrocan, Greek & Japanese.  But I miss home.  Yesterday I hit the market & got stocked up & also planned menus for the week.  I’m also home for the week, and that really helps.

I’m planning to stay the course on my diet, keep up the regular exercise & generally keep on the good path.  That approach seemed to work last week - my weight is back down the 1 pound it was up, so the plateau is still officially here but I think on it’s way out.

But although I’ll do all the right “weight loss” things, I really want to focus on the “Low Stress” aspect right now.

——-

On an unrelated note, does anyone know someone who can design logos and stuff like that in Illustrator or whatever the heck software is used for that?  I have a little project with even less money to put towards it (I can pay, but not much…), and my circle of friends has come up empty on the desktop designer front - so if you or someone you know has the skills, please let me know!

Well, this week’s travel has gone well.

Nowhere very exciting - I’m in a suburb of Munich Germany, where I come every 2 weeks or so.  I just wasn’t traveling for 6 months last year while I dealt with my health.  It’s not my favorite spot on earth, but it’s okay.  The hotel where I usually stay (and did this time as well) is nice, clean, small, good restaurant, easy transport to the office & friendly.  They don’t have a gym, but the rooms are decent size. 

Years ago when I did my big weight loss effort I did yoga for a while.  I was terrible at it - I’ve never been very limber - but I really enjoyed it, remember how strong I felt & how relaxing it was.  I have several yoga DVDs and did use them from time to time after moving to Paris, but never regularly.  Two and a half years ago I was frantically trying to lose weight before my wedding & was really pushing myself on exercise & I seriously injured my back.  Herniated disk, acute sciatica, unable to walk, narcotics, sick leave, and about a week after the wedding - surgery (which worked!).  I was told in no uncertain terms by my orthopedic surgeon that I needed to be extremely careful in the future - regarding stretching and any kind of jarring activities (jumping, skiing, running - all OUT), and stregnth training out too. 

As a result, I’ve only done cardio since then, walking, swimming, elliptical, bike.  I can get a very good workout on these and truth be told it’s not like I’ve really missed doing other stuff, but recently I’ve been wondering if I can start to move back to a moderate level of flexibility.  My poor hamstrings are really tight.  I’m not talking about anything that would risk re-rupturing a disk, mind you (when they repair a disk it never completely heals due to the type of tissue). 

So my first week back on the road I tried a few yoga videos which were a great fit because they are VERY beginner (so am I!).  They’re also very short (10 min or 20 min).  It’s not a ‘calorie-torching-workout’, but hey, that’s okay, because a hotel room is maybe not the best ‘calorie-torching’ environment.

One thing I forgot about yoga is how much you have to support your own body weight.  Maybe not so hard for the skinny fit nymphs of yoga lore, but not so easy when you’re my size with a terribly out of shape upper body.  Still, it’s easier to see progress when you’re starting from this low, and this week, two weeks after my first short foray back into yoga, I can already hold certain positions longer.

Babysteps, babysteps, babysteps. 

• Small sessions of new exercise
• Starting with really easy levels
• Doing some exercise in my hotel room instead of doing nothing