Beyond distracted
General June 3rd, 2009I thought this week things would start to be better, but I’m finding that I am beyond distracted by the cancer.
During the times when I am in a meeting for work I’m okay, but pretty much most of the other times I’m preoccupied, and my work inbox is the biggest mess you can imagine. It’s hard to pretend that the work stuff is even remotely important.
Reducing my stress seems like the most important thing I can do right now, especially as I face another few weeks of waiting until the diagnosis is staged and the treatment plan is finalized. I’m reducing my travel, will probably head for only 2 days/1 night on the road, and I’m trying to make sure I get some exercise. It makes me feel like I’m doing something positive for my body, and I do think it’s a good outlet for stress.
I’m also still watching my diet, which seems ridiculously superficial on one hand, and profoundly important on the other. I know myself, and if I don’t watch my diet in times of stress, I will eat my way into another 2-3 sizes in no time flat. In addition, I do believe a healthy diet is good for the body, and while I don’t expect a cure for this from my plate, I do think that everything in our bodies is impacted by what we eat, so making healthier choices seems like a smart choice, and one that reduces my stress.
I’m trying to figure out whether to leave this blog for a while and start one somewhere more focused on the cancer, since it’s not the weekly scale fluctuations that will make me cheerful or depressed right now, but I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready to move to a ‘cancer blog’ where it would seem that my whole life would be about this stupid disease.
I guess things can’t be so bad if I’m able to spend time worrying about this, right?
Thanks a ton for the outpouring of support, it really helps.
June 3rd, 2009 at 7:31 pm
So I am just getting caught up on your blog and I don’t know what to say. You are so incredibly strong and if anyone can pull this off gracefully, it will be you. I love your attitude of dealing with things head on and think it will serve you well as you deal with your health, diet and life in general. Thinking of you : )
June 3rd, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I’m new to 3fc blogs and am new to your blog, Round. I’m thinking of you.
June 4th, 2009 at 4:01 am
The thing that’s so neat about this website is that even though it’s focused on healthy living/weight loss, everything else comes into play. If a cancer blog isn’t the place for you, we’d love to lend an ear and try to help you through this as best we can.
As far as focusing on your eating during this time, I read an article a while back about a woman who had successfully battled cancer. Her doctor told her that part of the reason she handled the treatment so well was because she ate healthy foods and exercised on a regular basis. Like you said, the cure won’t come from your plate but your plate may make it more likely that the cure will happen.
On a completely different note, if I ever write anything that I think is comforting but makes you want to scream please let me know. Ever since my son was diagnosed w/his illness I have realized how many people say things that they think are comforting yet make me want to punch them in the face. I would hate to ever make someone feel like that.
Be strong.
PS–Here’s something that may or may not help. I’m a counselor and a book I read in grad school is by Viktor Frankl and it’s called “Man’s Search for Meaning”. He’s a Holocaust survivor and he recounts his experiences and explains how it shapes his theory of counseling. In a nutshell, he says that all humans search for meaning, which is what makes suffering bearable. The second part is that when you focus on the things you can control and try to let go of the rest life becomes much easier. It’s obviously much more complex than that but if you’re looking for things to distract you that don’t require a lot of thought it might be something to read.
June 4th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
I’m willing to lend my ear if you wanna stick around. My father had cancer and his doctor was always talking about how important healthy eating is. Stand strong and believe you can win this and you will.
June 5th, 2009 at 4:06 am
I agree with you on treating your body gently with healthly wholesome food but I also think that the occassional incredible treat is also much needed. Like that lovely pastry from that famous chef - remember that one? I do
I would love to see you stay Sarah, this blog is much more than just about eating. It’s like a part of our lives…
But I will follow you no matter where you go darlin’ and you’re right - bringing down your stress level (which sounds absolutely absurd right now given the circumstances) will also give your body a soft landing spot as well. Have you thought about meditation? At first it’s extremely annoying because your thoughts will rush about your head and it takes a while to quiet them but then it’s just you and the universe.
Take care darlin - you are in my prayers daily. xoxoxoxo
June 5th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Sounds like everyone has said what I was thinking so I’ll just say “ditto” to the comments above and just add that I’m sending lots of prayers and hugs your way. Hang in there, Sarah.
June 6th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I think that I have to double ditto everyone said it all.
May I add that I know a 25 year old man who used superhealthy foods, vitamins, working out, and reduced his stress. his doctor said it made a world of difference in how his body handled the treatment. he is now cancer free for 3 years.
We are here for you no matter what. Even though we have never met, I care. Please take care. You are in my prayers
))HUGS(((
June 6th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Honey, I just caught up, I am SOOOOOO sorry. You are always in my thoughts & prayers, now I will add another reason to be. You can and WILL beat this! Email me when you need a friend. I have been off the weight loss wagon, but I will always be on the friend wagon, no matter how crazy our lives are! xoxoxox Aud