Soon, but not yet
Motivate February 3rd, 2008Soon I think I’ll be moving forward, but apparently not yet. I guess it’s pretty good for me to be kind of stuck here right now, because it’s clear to me I don’t want to stay at this weight. I’ve lost enough to be fitting into the fat clothes, but I feel yucky and want to get back to feeling good.
I’m not in a bad space right now - I got in a good long walk yesterday and probably will again today. Half the time I’m eating well, the other half… well, let’s say there is clearly room for improvement.
I think this week will be a good clean slate. My DH is gone for the first half of the week (and this time he really left), I’m feeling better after my antibiotics, and I got through a major meeting for my work last Friday.
The only real residual stress I’m facing is the possible job change one - and honestly I feel that it’s out of my hands. I’ve only briefly touched on this topic, but it’s a big one for me. Apparently the company is still trying to make up their mind, and they’re going to re-contact me for another set of interviews. I suspect some of my malaise last week was anxiousness to have closure on this topic, but it looks like that will elude me again. I’m now expecting a long timeline, my guess is I don’t have a clear answer until the end of the month. What I am clear of is that they have doubts, so I’m mentally prepared for a No. Since the job would be such a huge lifestyle change it’s not a No that is crushing - I have plenty of my own doubts, and in many ways it would be easier for them to tell me No than for me to have to accept the job, knowing that it will spark so much change in my life. (But it’s truly my dream job, with a very good company and a real challenge and interesting position. If offered it, I know I’ll accept.)
7 Responses to “Soon, but not yet”
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February 3rd, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I had a UTI a month or so ago. My second ever, if I am not mistaken, and not something I hope to ever repeat. I feel for you, woman!
I also feel on the job front. All of the postings for next year’s teaching gigs come up during the next few months and then there is the Vice Principal process that is more political than merit based.
I had gone for an interview for an assistant department head of the arts (technically a demotion as I am presently HEAD of Spec Ed- but a new area so I thought I would “bite it”). I came in second which was not all that surprising as I am a drama specialist and it is a music school. My point (and I am getting to it) is that a week after I “lost” the job there was a stabbing at that school. Relief?? Sometimes losing can be winning.
As for the VP process. I did not make that again (second try) but I also don’t know if I want the life change. So like you, it is a bit a edgey for me. Two other school boards are interested in me and I wonder if it is worth the commute to try. OR should I just sit back, work the two more years until my sabbatical, and then just change fields.
In short, maybe I should just get out the tarot deck!
Take care- everything works out for the best, even if we don’t know it or understand it.
February 4th, 2008 at 12:16 am
I am hoping that it all works out how you would like! I am also waiting to hear about a job, I get so nervous and anxious when I start thinking about it. Maybe next week will be a good week for us both?
I am glad you are feeling better! UTI’s are so painful!
February 4th, 2008 at 1:06 am
Hope you get the job hon. But if not - there will still be goodness in it. Having missed out on a dream job myself, I can say that it really sucked big time but later I realized it wasn’t so bad after all.
Thank goodness you’re feeling better.
February 4th, 2008 at 2:59 am
Hope you get that “yes”….may the upcoming week bring you the things you are hoping for.
I am writing my resume from scratch, and my heart is in my throat as I do it, wanting change….
As always, I read what you have to say and you make me think and you inspire me!
Rubes
February 4th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Glad to hear you’re out and about and in a good place, in spite of the uncertainty. It will all work out exactly the way it’s supposed to.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Good luck with the job. It sounds like you’re dealing with everything very well. I’m not waiting on a job: I’ve been at my workplace fo 11 years but they have completely changed my job description. So, even though I’ve been here that long, I feel like the new kid on the block!
Hang in there.
February 4th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Ofcourse you want to get back to feeling good! I have an observation: you seem to be cultivating self love, even amidst all the external stress , and you are very involved in learning how this works. In short, you seem to be very involved in a lot of positive relationship with your Self. Maybe the ‘improvement’ part is when you don’t feel threatened anymore when you let your Loving Self take control and trust her?