About eating with thought
General, Low Stress Weight Loss, Think-while-you-eat December 28th, 2007This whole think-while-you-eat thing is really turning out hard to master.
Yesterday I got up late and met a friend for a while who needed my help. No time for breakfast, but that’s okay because w Low Stress Weight Loss I only eat when I’m hungry and I hadn’t been hungry. By 2pm I was starving so I thought long and hard about what I wanted for lunch. Our kitchen is still pretty bare because we were gone for X-mas (and the market isn’t until tomorrow, and I’ve become so spoiled, I don’t like buying “food” at the supermarket, only cleaning stuff, paper, and a few yogurts they carry.) So I decided to take myself out to Chinese food (in part because my DH found a great Japanese restaurant yesterday and had been telling me about it).
Before I left I actually updated my food journal pages to include “stopping mid-way” and “leave something”. It didn’t matter, I didn’t apply it. I did eat relaxed, and I did savor & enjoy my food. I did even leave a little something of the main dish (very little). I didn’t stop mid-way. I left still feeling hungry in fact, and had to talk myself out of stopping at a bakery (no no, don’t need that), and chocolate shop (it’s probably not all that good). Even in the grocery where I picked up paper goods and a few other things I saw myself eyeing all kinds of packaged rubbish (none of which came home with me). It took over an hour for me to register feeling full.
My exercise leaves a lot to be desired too. Yesterday I walked about 30 minutes, although not at a fast pace. Today just the outing for lunch - maybe 20 minutes strolling max.
My cousin & her husband are here visiting for a few days now. Hopefully I’ll have ample opportunities to get out and walk showing them around town, and hopefully we won’t have a crazy food fest. My cousin is actually something of a fitness freak and has always been thin & lovely & active, and never been very interested in food, so food is not the top of the agenda. Her husband is one of the SuperFit people, and apparently has been worrying about this trip for lack of gym time and fear that all French food is full of butter and cream (and he’s not far off).
Last night we went out for dinner and it was interesting. I chose less butter-and-cream because of all the talk at the table, and ended up taking a chance on something that could have been sublime but was actually pretty icky. I had scallops in a saffron sauce, but the scallops were overcooked and rubbery and the sauce lacked flavor and depth, on a bed of overcooked bland veggies. I ate all the veggies and about a 1/3 of the scallops. I did not finish, I did pause but mainly because I didn’t like my meal, I definitely left the table hungry. (I had a yogurt & some bread later at home). My cousin & her husband were indeed light eaters, neither finished their meal, and both said they were too full for dessert (even though my cousin wanted a creme brulee). It is interesting to eat with thin people.
I’m giving myself through the end of January to work on these new concepts from Dr Hope. These are really fundamental changes in how I eat, and I don’t want to have an attitude of “racing through” the steps to get to the next ones, as I think the lessons I am learning are really the basis for a different way of eating that will help me manage my weight forever. Part of me is tempted to just go back to traditional dieting & get some pounds off quickly, but then I remember the stress that builds into my life…and I get sane again!
December 28th, 2007 at 11:54 am
I love eating with thin people! I grew up in a family of compulsive over-eaters and my first flatmate at university was also a compulsive eater. The second flatmate I had was slim and really unfussed about food, but seemed to really enjoy what she ate. I used to watch her in the vague hope it was have an effect on me and also with a kind of fascination because I had never seen anyone eat normally before! Very occassionally, she would want chocolate and would go and buy a little bar of something and eat it and it never seemed to lead to her wanting more or wanting it everyday. She was actually French by parentage, so I think it probably rubbed off on her. Only recently have I been able to taste my food and register if it is too rich, too sweet, not that good or whatever. I guess it takes time before my sensibilities develop enough so I have awareness of what I eat as opposed to just shoving it in without really savouring it!
I love your blog by the way
December 28th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
I agree with you needing to give more time to build the habits around thinking while eating. It is very tough. Time and care must go into it. And it is such a precious precious sensible habit to acquire.
I am nowhere there yet. I can easily (most times) leave food at restaurants but not at all at home. I need to work on that. I also need a lot of time to feel full and often go astray meanwhile.
By the way, thank you so so much for your thoughtful comments. I can be happy easily but can be unhappy even more easily.
I appreciate your comments on my partner search. You are very sensible and logical, as always. I think I am going to give my mom’s candidates a better hearing. I would be quite okay without a husband but would love to have a family and a kid. 
Love,
iniya
December 28th, 2007 at 1:45 pm
I think building habits around eating is a good idea because bad habits got me where I am today. Eating in front of the TV, eating in front of the computer. Eating cause I am bored etc.
Hard habits to break. Now have to make a conscious effort to NOT do those things and only eat when hungry
December 28th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Watching thin people eat is fascinating. They don’t have nearly the same hangups we have. They really do stop eating before they are FULL. And on the rare occasion they eat everything, they often skip the next meal or 2!
December 28th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
During my business trip earlier this month, I ate my lunches and dinners with my fitter colleagues, and it was indeed an enlightening experience. Interestingly enough, most of them were real foodies, while another just wanted to get away with spending the least of her per-diem on food (more for liquor!), and still another was afraid to try anything new. What I gained most from the experience, however, was that the mealtimes were not just about the food, they were a true social occasion. I don’t know if it is even possible to replicate that at home.
December 28th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Hi round! Thanks for your comments in my blog. (Plan hopping for me has been a disaster and, I think, an excuse to avoid Dealing With It, but for more stable, sensible people it may be a great idea!)
I don’t eat out often, and when I do it’s often with thin people — older people, men who’ve had heart attacks — and they eat everything on the table. Sigh. But I also have thin friends who (at home) do exactly what fl0wer said: if they’re eating out, or have a big meal, they simply don’t eat the next day, or eat very lightly.
I do stop when I’m fully, and leave food on my plate — but (in the past, in the past) will go to the kitchen an hour or two later for a snack.
Many things to work on!
December 28th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
I think the biggest task for all of us right now is to not get caught off guard hungry, and unprepared. Perhpas our perception of ‘hungry’ is too far off. Perhaps we need to respond to gentler hunger signs, so that we can at least have a little more control in our behavior– engage our minds still. I think the Engaging the Mind in our behaviors , with everything, not just food, is definitely the trick that creates Mindfulness. (well, duh…
I guess I mean that, lets go out the door, with Preparedness in Mindfulness. Keep something in our bag that’s Just In Case of hunger, that’s no more than a couple hundred calories, such like that. And, drink more water, is my personal thing, because I’m learning (yes, in the FrenchWomen…. book ) that often we think we are hungry when in fact , we are thirsty. Interesting?
December 28th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Thank you for your thoughtful commenton my blog. I really wish you success on your journey to lose weight. Dr. Hope sounds like a brilliant doctor. I have a cousin who is more like my sister than cousin, and over the course of this past year she has lost 100 lbs. She looks great and feels great, and the beauty of it all~she never gave up her favorite foods. Her simple philosophy is this~eat half. That’s it~eat half. Everytime she goes out to eat (whch is alot) she immediately puts half of the plate in a to-go box. If she wants dessert, she orders it, eats half and throws the rest away or takes it home for a different day. In a sense, Dr. Hope is saying the same thing. Stop mid-meal, evaluate your fullness (it takes 20 minutes for the brain to tell the stomach you’re full), enjoy your food. That’s exactly what my cousin did. I wish you all the best in your journey. I’ll be keeping in touch.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:09 pm
thanks so much for the kind words… i am loving this site already!!! so many people here to talk to when I am feeling down… I look forward to chatting with you again soon!
December 28th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
I’ve always been “that friend”; the one who NEVER cleans her plate. My friends always use to say that they’re glad they weren’t paying for my meal, because I only ate 1/4 of it. And I stopped eating because I was full! But I could immediately eat 4 gallons of ice cream (hence why I gained). Plus, I use to get my left overs in a to-go box and then I had 3 more meals at home! Hahah =]
And it’s good that you’re giving yourself until the end of January. It’s impressive how realistic you are. Some women expect wonders overnight. I’m glad you know it’s hard work and perseverence that gets us through these hard times. Best of luck with these new ideas from Dr. Hope. I’m sure you’ll do great and learn a lot about your hunger and body in the meantime. I’ll keep in touch! =]
December 28th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
I guess the Dr. Hope approach is only hard because it works! We take years building our bad eating habits and it stands to reason they can’t be undone quickly, or easily…all the more reason why you should be so proud of all the progress you’ve made, and continue to make!
December 28th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Props to you for walking past the bakery and the chocolate shops. I have seen the shop windows in Paris firsthand, and I know how deliciously inviting they can be! I have the same affliction–I can eat a full meal and still feel hungry until a long time afterwards. It’s wacky.
My youngest sister is naturally thin, and I am constantly amazed at her ability to do what you described–eat a few bites, decide she doesn’t like something, and then leave the rest. She lived in Rennes and Marseilles for several years… coincidence?
I have friends who are in AA, who have described being around alcohol in ways that very much echo my responses to food. They are constantly aware of who is drinking what, how much everyone is drinking, and are astonished when they see people finish half a drink and then set it down and forget its there. I don’t know if my relationship with food classifies as an addiction, but it sure feels a lot the same as what they describe.