Reflections and Revelations

Posted riestrella on October 17th, 2011 | Filed under Weight Loss Journey

It’s been a while since I’ve wrote a journal entry, and I felt like now is a good time to reflect on what’s happened in the meantime. My last entry was about the 10k race I had finished, I was on Cloud 9 that I had got around and finished it, even though I was in second to last place! I felt fit and healthy, ready to take on anything. I weighed in at 177 lbs.

It’s now October 17th, 9 weeks later, and I’ve lost 7 lbs. After starting half marathon training I had to put it on standby since the weather was terrible and I just wasn’t enjoying my runs any more. I decided to take on the Insanity challenge by Shaun T. I’m now in week 5, and I’ve been enjoying it thoroughly.

However, the last week was a terrible one. I worked out once, felt drained and sluggish towards doing any of my workouts, and was eating terribly. Luckily I maintained 170 lbs that I had achieved the week before, but after seeing so much progress from running I got disheartened that I wasn’t seeing much results with Insanity. I’ve lost 1 lb since starting Insanity, but I think a big reason for that is because of my period. I’ve been experiencing lengthened periods, so I will suffer from the symptoms a week and a half before I actually start. Then it takes forever for the actual period to begin, sometimes I get the ’signs’ that it’s coming for 5 days.

I also haven’t been drinking water or sticking to the meal plan that I set out for myself at the beginning of Insanity. Partially because of time constraints with work (I can’t eat mid shift at work like people with office jobs can) and partially because of laziness. I should be preparing my meals the night before or in the morning so I can just eat it and go.

So with the combination of period weight gain/water retention, lack of water to help with the former, lazy week with no exercise and eating food that isn’t good for me - I’ve remained at 170 lbs for 3 weeks. The great thing is is that I didn’t GAIN weight, so for that I am thankful and hopeful that with a week of dedication I will quickly begin to lose weight again.

Being at 170 lbs makes me realise how desperately I want to be in the 160s. It holds a couple of milestones for me. The first being 165 lbs, which is the halfway point to healthy BMI. I’ll be halfway towards healthiness, something I’ve never experienced in my adult life. The second is 164 lbs, which is the weight I was when I was 18. Getting below that means that the next time my boyfriend sees me, I’ll be the thinnest he’s ever seen me be. Getting through the 160s is important to me, because once I’m in the 150s I’ll be so close to that healthy BMI. So I suppose the 160s is exciting because I’ll be so close to a very important goal.

My ultimate goal is 130 lbs, but knowing that I am healthy will be an amazing feeling. Saying goodbye to 170 lbs feels like I’m saying goodbye to my past, the hard times I endured that made me gain the weight, goodbye to obesity (I will never see you ever again!) and it will open a door and make me see my goal clearer than before. Just 1 measly pound to lose and I’ll feel so much joy and excitement!

So my plan is to get on it with exercise, drink water religiously and maintain a healthy eating plan. I’m also starting the pill today in order to hopefully curb my period symptoms and make sure my periods are regulated so I don’t experience water retention for weeks. I’ve lost 23 lbs so far, I’m not going to give up like I have done so many times before. This is the thinnest I’ve been since my trip to Italy in 2009 and back then I felt confident and happy with the progress I had made and determined to keep it going. I failed in that, so now I’ve got a second chance and I’m going to keep that promise and make it to my goal weight.

No more excuses, no more slacking - just do it.


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