Wow, oh, wow, I just did what was no doubt the most accurate calorie count in months and it was….2,118!!! My God, and I thought today was a good day. Well, it was, which just shows how much I normally eat.
Oh well, there were some eye openers, one was the fact that my morning super oatmeal is indeed that at 726 calories. And the Starbucks tall latte, EVEN with lowfat milk is said to be 160 calories. WTF? Heh, bye-bye latte, hello regular old coffee. Darn. I don’t even like milk. The rest was OK. I expected it. I allowed it. I enjoyed it.

It’s nice to know I can save some places and not feel deprived. I already figured out that if I cut out all the other grains I put in my oatmeal besides oats and cut out the honey, I can get the total down to 390 calories. The wheels start spinning. When I’m pmsing and crave more calories, then I’ll call for the super oatmeal. Hoo-haw!

31stJanuary

starting anew!!!

Well, I just did a photo session. They aren’t good because I just have my phone camera but it’ll do. I purposely wore clothes that I can’t wear now, pants that barely button, shirt tucked in (I NEVER do that!) with the roll around my waist…er, midsection…hanging over. Sorry, if anyone is eating… But this is the start. I love looking at before and after shots. They are SO inspiring but I never take photos of myself so I wouldn’t have any. Also, it’s a very unpleasant wakeup call but one I need to get this project on the road and keep it there. 

My God, these photos are horrid, really horrid. I will show them when I am well away from them. I would like to show them when I am 40 lbs lighter but think I’ll start showing them earlier. Well, we’ll see. 

Anyhow, that’s the news thus far. I have only had tea since breakfast and though I have a cold still and my chest hurts, I am going to walk to the gym. Don’t know if I’ll do anything because I am still sick, but I want to feel I have done something today. Oh, that I could just hold on to this motivation.

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Yes, my God, I am going to make this my project, my before and after project, my weight loss project. And damn, I am going to do a whopping good job!!!

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I just had lunch:

a bagel with 35 grams of peanut butter

a cup of miso and negi soup

2 mikan

I wrote it all down in a journal and am now heading outside for some exercise. The rain has stopped but it’s cold. I am psyched! For the first time in months.

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Well, I didn’t get to the gym because my lungs still hurt too much. I did go for a long walk as far as the gym, which is 50 min. away. So I did the loop and got a good two hours’ walk in. Felt better coming back actually but that was probably due to the tall Starbucks lowfat latte I had. My bag was much heavier from shopped.

I picked up a nice pot to start making some soups and stews. These I then split up into meal-size baggies and freeze them to take to work. 

After getting in I had a pack of these cheese crackers. Nothing to be proud of but I’m starting slow and giving myself the option of “eating anything.” From there I make a choice. But I will write it down.

I then embarked on a huge apple. There were only 300 yen for a bag of 4 or 5 so I expected them to be rotten inside, but they weren’t. It was good. Now I’m having a cheese risotto, prepackaged thing and then I’m going to end with microwaved popcorn. I know, I know, it’s nothing great, but I will record all calories and have a total for the day.

I am really getting into this. As I walking along, whenever the blues started creeping up on me, I lost them by quickly diverting to my new thought place in my head. No, not looney, just full of too much inner talk. That new thought place is called My Weight Project and I spent time in Starba’s writing down images and stage goals in order to reach 55 kg. Cool. Came up with a racetrack plan (I do a lot of racing writing). Breaking my journey into 10 lb legs, I imagine the trip as a 2,200 meter race at Tokyo. Starting in the pocket just past the stretch, I’ll take the first 10 lbs just into the backstretch, the next to the bend and the third 10 around into the stretch and then…..and then, we are heading HOME!! I will hit the wire on August 8. You bet!!

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Well, it’s the fifth day of the new year and I am having one of the worst starts to a new year in a long time. No riding, no gym yet, though I did try. My eating has been horrible too.

I am depressed badly again. Well, who wouldn’t be putting all the junk into my body and not doing anything uplifting… (Sigh).

Well, it’s just going to be up to me to pull myself OUT of this mire.

I’m going to start keeping a little notebook of things I did that were good today, things, no matter how small they may seem, that were good for me, that moved me in the direction of my weight loss and health and fitness goals.

Wish me luck.