As anyone reading this blog can see, I do not understand the concept too well. I suppose I should be witty and charming or both in order to have people come in here and comment, but I am used to writing in a journal and there I don’t have to be anything, just natural. So, I guess this is more a journal than anything else. So, it’s a been a month without booze and nearly as long without sugar. The weight is coming off, slowly, but, well….don’t know about surely. Every time I eat something I am afraid the weight loss will grind to a halt and I’ll just be back staring at days on end of a scale readout that doesn’t change. Sigh. This is the worst part. Not knowing. Not having a track record to gauge myself by. Just going to have to stick with it. It’s the reason I am afraid to have ANY sweets or alcohol, even though I was just challenging myself to go through till my birthday, August 8. I now fear that the only reason I’m losing weight is because I don’t drink anything and don’t eat sugar. I suppose though, that without counting calories, this is the only way. Counting beer calories just doesn’t make sense….
Hmmm…it’s now four weeks without alcohol and nearly as much off sugar and cigs. I have more energy, well, more consistent energy. Getting up in the morning is just a matter of sleep and not hangovers. It feels good. I feel so much more in control. I AM more in control. People text message me to go drinking. Those times are like distant times. Yet near, it is all too easy to get back into old ways. I want to be able to have FUN when I go out and I’m hoping I can have fun by making those times rare times, not every other day.
It’ll be three weeks off any kind of alcohol today, three weeks!! and I am losing the midsection roll. Just goes to show how bad things were that three weeks could get me back wearing a blouse I haven’t worn in months, not wanting to show the roll. It is huge progress and yet I feel so deprived. Why do I belittle the joy of not having to hide under billowing shirts? Why do I belittle the effort I have put into this, three weeks of wanting to have a pint with coworkers. It is also almost three weeks off sugar and cigarettes and there again, the cravings have been difficult, especially the sugar. And yet, I start to think, what for? why continue? Stop it and just keep at it!!