Freaking Irritating!!! August 1, 2012
Today has not been the greatest of days. I woke up feeling like crap and I am sure it’s because my eating was off all weekend and my body didn’t want what I put in it on Monday. Then I go get a grilled chicken sandwich with no mayo from McDonald’s which is approx. 250 calories and on my way back in the person I work with yells out, in front of a client, “ANDREA!!! Don’t think I don’t see that. Your not supposed to be eating that!!” You know…..my business is my business and it is embarassing to be called out by a co-worker in front of a client just because she knows I am dieting and thinks she can. She didn’t even know what I had in the bag, but felt it neccessary to degrade me in front of a person we do business with.
Then to make matters worse I was feeling really alone and sent a text message to my “Christian Grey”. I man that at one point told me how much he loved me and even said he wanted to marry me, but now seems hell bent on making me miserable. We met when I was in college and had a amazing physical relationship. The kind that makes you see stars and fireworks. We would talk for hours on end about our lives and all the things we had in common. I haven’t seen him in person in 15 years. I have moved all over the country and we have always kept in touch, but now that I work half a mile from his house he seems to have forgotten that I even exist. I never hear from him and I am too disgusted with my appearance to go knock on his door. I can’t get it out of my head that he has probably seen me around town and is grossed out. My feelings of rejection have hit an all time high and I am struggling to make it through the day. I should have known he wouldn’t text me back. Why is it that I am attracted to the men that I know are going to detroy me and bring me down? Why am I still in love with him?
-Girl With The Broken Heart ;’(
8/2/2012……Update: Heard from my Mr. Grey just now. He had to have a pace maker installed…I knew he was having some problems, but i didn’t know the extent of them.
This is a man that runs marathons and was always in perfect health….I just can’t believe it.