(I wrote this first part on another site, while at school.  However, the second part doesn’t make sense without the mad ramble earlier.)

I’m so bored today. I’ve been fighting it since Tuesday really. I’m hanging around until 12pm for a class that I’m almost positive will be close to empty. You could tell this morning that way too many people are already on break, so to speak. The teachers from today’s classes made a grave mistake the other day in admitting that there’s almost no chance of us getting our exams back. This has led to most people just blowing off the classes today. The one this morning was no big deal as he usually just shows slides (although today he actually added some content). I could probably skip the noon class, but I’m not sure who will be there and who I could get notes from. What I’m concerned about is hanging around, having almost nobody show up, and him telling us to go. I’ll be seriously pissed if that happens.

I’m also supposed to go out for dinner tonight and I’m in a serious ‘fuck the diet’ mood. I don’t know how I can get myself back into the mindset I was in last fall. I know I have to be there, but just can’t seem to get there. I know a don’t care evening will blow any chance of losing anything this week, but honestly, not sure that I care. A couple of people talked about getting together next week and my first thought is that I can’t work an evening out in particularly well, so I should skip it. Then I think that I don’t want to skip it. Then I think I’m just being petty - that too many ‘not skipping it’ events is how I got myself to where I am.

Although, to be honest, except for an occasional evening out, that’s not how I got to where I am. A combination of lack of portion control, late night eating, and some fast food/junk food (not as much as you would think) is how I got here.

Can you tell that I’m just a rambling mess of confusion today? I can’t seem to focus lately, and that does kind of bother me. I think about a year ago and how focused I was, and I can’t summon that energy. Sheesh, what a downer I am today. I should go spread my cheer, and catch up on what everyone else is up to!

- - - -

So, no real surprise that dinner was a complete caloric blow out. Completely by choice really. The restaurant does have their menu online, so I did look at it before I went. I did find something that sounded good that wasn’t horrendously high in calories (680), paired with seasonal veggies (150), and decided to skip the salad and the bread.

“Grilled skinless chicken breast, layered with goat cheese, on a bed of greens, chick peas, roasted grape tomatoes, pomegranate molasses”

It was very tasty actually. As was the pomegranate martini (vodka, triple sec, pomegranate juice…. ?~265 from an online counter). It would have been a reasonable, probably even within calorie day if I’d stopped there.

+ martini #2 ~265 cals
+ 1/2 bottle of very nice Australian wine ~248 cals
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+ a quite nice piece of chocolate ganache torte ~ 525 cals

It’s probably a good thing that I don’t go out much.

Oh well, tomorrow I will make up for some of it by getting back on the treadmill. The back is good, the knee is fine, the elbow still twinges, but I’m ignoring it. I know I’ll pay for it with this week’s weigh in, but what’s done is done. No more excuses, back on plan until at least the end of the semester.

Now, I’m off to bed before I’m tempted to eat anything else. I won’t break down the rest of the day, but it ended at:

3153 cals (ouch)
(27% fat, 33% carbs, 22% protein, 18% alcohol)