From the HRM today:

Water: 20 cups

Food: 2398 (28% fat, 36% carbs, 35% protein)

Breakfast: eggs poached in salsa, cracked wheat oatmeal bread, grapefruit (336)

AM Snack: almonds, protein shake (254)

Lunch: spicy bean soup with parmesan, smoked back bacon, apple (429)

PM Snack: soy nuts, protein shake (314)

Dinner: salsa chicken with corn and white beans, cheese, broccoli, salad w/dressing (710)

Late Snack: protein shake, grapes (356)

I don’t know why but this afternoon I descended into a big depressed, crying, feeling sorry for myself, mess. It was nothing anyone said, it was just me, and my reaction to where I am in my weight loss. It started with the discussion of progress on another board, ended with me once again looking at the so-called progress pics I have. And ended with me just feeling freakin’ sorry for myself. I don’t know why, but even my progress is depressing me today. Not on how far I’ve come, but on how far I have to go. And maybe a little because I was here before (just about 100 lbs down) and let it get out of control. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not about to drown my sorrows in (fill in your poison). I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed in general. It will pass.

I also think that next week after I’ve finished my AMRAPs (as many reps as possible) I’m going to lay off on some (if not all) of the cardio while I’m taking my rest week. I’ll cut my calories back, but I think I’m feeling a little burned out. And that’s not even the right word. I think I just need a short controlled break. Not an out of control eating one, but a planned one with appropriate food intake. Since I was going to do the week off between Stage 1 and 2, it seemed like a decent time to do it.

Well, I weighed in this morning at 310.0, which is 48.2 pounds from where I started this time. This wasn’t as good a month as I expected. I have raised my calorie intake slightly over the last couple of weeks, however, I’ve had better weight loss since that point. I think for the moment I’m not going to play around with the calorie levels. As I’m starting to do more in the garden I think I need those few extra calories to keep my energy levels up. If I decide to drop them again I think probably some of the cardio will have to go. Basically I’ve decided no changes for a month. This is assuming I can keep the cardio level up with the outside work. I’ve still got an average loss of 2.31lbs a week since I started so I’m very happy with that. I’m also seeing some definite inch changes that don’t match up with the weight loss, which is also good.  So, the monthly totals.

• calories per day: 2463, calorie balance: -981 per day
• treadmill: 30h 25m, strength training: 6h 30m
• swimming laps: 2h, walking outside: 30m
• avg daily exercise: 79 mins
• weight lost: 6.6 pounds

I just added them to the stats page if you want to compare to previous months. Now I need to think about goals for next month. I don’t set weight lost goals, as I feel I would be disappointed if I didn’t meet them. I try and set goals that will push me, but I can control if they are attainable. Although you can do certain things to help, you can’t force your body to lose weight on a schedule. So, on to the goals for May.

• Eat within plan every day (2400 Tu/Th/Sa/Su & 2800 Mo/We/Fr)
• Drink water every day (18 cups min.)
• Exercise (90 mins treadmill Mon-Fri, 30 mins strength training Mo/We/Fr)

That exercise one is probably going to change slightly. Substituting some of the treadmill for water exercises, just nothing specific. Although if it’s still cold out I may just swim for fun and just work on laps. I’ll also be taking a one week break from my strength training as I finish stage one and get ready for stage two. I haven’t decided if I’m going to increase other exercising, or decrease it. Depending on what I decide I’ll adjust my food intake as well. On the first day of June I’ll take a look at these and see how I’ve done. Wish me luck!