Back on track!! kind of…..

well i got my xrays back, and everything is fine! which is amazing news because now i can start working out again! but my toe is still crooked :-/. so i just have to tape it together with my other toes and hope that it goes back normal. So i got weighed at the doctors, and now i know what i have to work with. Workout starting tomorrow (slowly but surely) i’m very excited!!! well i hope all goes well!!

Super tiny blog!

So i just got back from the doctors and she thinks i only dislocated my toe. hallelujah!! i have to go in for x-rays to see if thats really the case! i hope it is so i can start working out  sweet!!

whoa there!

Its been what? 4 days since I’ve blogged. I’m impressed too!! well i started getting my motivation back a few days ago. My aunt (I’m staying with her to help with the kids, since my uncle deployed) decided that she wanted to go back to jazzercise, which is awesome! she loves it there! I volunteered to watch the kids while she is gone everyday, and i thought, awesome! i can take the kids for walks, walk them to the park, i went out and bought a few workout tapes. Yeah that was short lived :( i broke my toe yesterday, and its extremely painful to walk on. Great!! I’m going to the doctor, because I’m clueless. I know you can’t do much for a broken toe, but i am going to make sure my toe is ok, because its kinda sticking out( tmi i know, better get used to it if you read my blog! haha) and ask if its ok to excercise or do anything while standing for a long period of time. It is a blesing in disguise, because seeing how i haven’t been walking around much, i havent been snacking! I’ve been actually thinking about what i’m eating instead of not paying attention. I even decided to give up my favorite drink from starbucks for something healthier!! never thought i would see that day, but it has come at last! I usually get a venti white chocolate mocha w/ extra whip. I looked it up and a tall with 2% milk is 450 cals and with skim milk is 400, and this is a size smaller than what i get and with no whip! yikes!!! luckily i found a drink thats 160 cals, which is waaay better than 400+ for one drink. People always told me , count calories blah blah! and i never listened to them. I always thought eh as long as i dont overindulge ill be fine. Once i actually looked stuff up, and read up on it, it has opened my eyes. Which is great because i have never actually thought like this. Now i think, well id rather eat this than that, or maybe ill substitute this with that. I have never felt so happy and excited about something like this in a very long time! If you actually read all of that, you deserve a high five!!! haha well i must go to the doctors! have a wonderful day! - crooked toe  lmao

ugh

See! there i go again, not writing forever then coming back! I did have some personal issues and a mini meltdown, but i’m back. I must say that my little meltdown has set me back a lot. I have no more of that can-do attitude and i don’t know how i to get out of this haze i have been in for a while. I am proud to report that not all progress is lost, i don’t know how i did it but i still managed to control portion size and i’m still drinking a lot of water. That’s about the only thing im proud to say. I have been trying to eat right, and get myself on a routine of breakfast, lunch, dinner ( i usually skip meals when i don’t feel hungry) and i have got a start, kind of. i have not weighed myself in a very long time, and i kinda don’t want to right now. Maybe in the morning i will get the guts to just do it. I really think that once it gets warmer outside i will be able to take my anger and frustration, and channel it into motivation to start walking again. I felt so relaxed when i was walking this past fall, but it got cold and i’m a wimp! i really need to start doing something because i wanna look my best for my best friends wedding this summer. Maybe i can use that as motivation. Well that’s all i have for now. Maybe i can get myself into a routine of blogging every night, instead of just facebook and tumbr. Well goodnight world may you all have wonderful dreams!!

Long time no see!

My my my, i have been soooooo busy lately its not even funny!! I have made quite a few changes in the past two months though!! I have started drinking alot of water. i used to barely drink water, it was all juice and soda, so i’m very glad that i have made the switch. I feel alot happier now, i dont have any medication, but it seems like i have a more positive outlook on life. Ive started selling this amazing product (not supposed to say the name or i could get into trouble) but i really hope it helps me come out of my shell, and interact with people. I always tell myself that i cant do things, and with this im pushing myself out of my comfort zone and i really like it!! I have not exactly started my ‘diet’ yet but im taking little steps. soon i will be able to kick my ass into high gear , ill be able to get healthier food choices and i might even apply for a job(big step). Like  said i always say that i can’t ex: i can’t apply for this job because i cant do this, or what if i get it and completely fail at it? well im going for it and saying what the hell? if i fail its ok because thats what humans are born to do! in order to succeed you must fail, or something like that! haha so im really excited. i’ve had alot of insight these past few months and i must say, no matter what you look like or how much you weigh, everyone is beautiful! never forget that! everyones big goal is to look like a super hot babe or super skinny. my goal is to be healthy so that i can chase after my little cousins (the joys of my life because i have no kids….yet :)) be able to go on the slides with him(and his sister when shes big enough) or swingset. I do care about loking good but i honestly don’t care, if you don’t like the way i look don’t look at me simple as that!! well now that i have ranted i don’t expect anyone to be that patient to read all of that! if you did bless you!! i hope you have a great day!!!

with love-Ashley

a new chapter begins

I have never tried dieting because i am afraid of failure. I’ve always told myself that i would start making a change tomorrow or the next day. Well many(x1000000000000) days (jk) later here i am. Still saying the same thing, the only difference? everything has sunk in, all of the mean looks or comments, i’m ready for a change! I don’t think that motavation will come to me until i see the change. I am fully aware that change doesn’t happen overnight. Its just so hard to stay motavated when you dont have any energy and chocolate cake staring you in the face. I’m starting to take some medication for all that stuff, so maybe i can move on with my life. Just gotta take one step at a time right?