Exceptional week really….food has been good…I have been very busy…lots of errands, house work, and exercise.  I think there is going to be a loss this week! I will be starting TOM soon so I don’t know if that will throw a wrench in things but we will see.  I am still having this pain deep into my shoulderblades and other random aches…like my side is killing me this morning…my knee is letting me know what it thinks about all the extra exercise but at least it is letting me do it!  I am making sure that any sugar besides fruit is eaten after 4pm…  I read it in one of my exercise magazines and it seems to be actually helping… At least it has so far and that is a good thing…  Oh!  And lots of tea! :)  That is helping with any sweet cravings as well…I am especially fond of licorice spice tea…I love licorice but whenever I eat it is really sets off cravings so I limit my exposure to it.

Plan today is 40 mins elliptical…some stretches and a possible walk…yesterday I did my 40 mins and a 3 mile walk to the store…

Breakfast: 5ish…protein shake

Snack before workout: coffee w/creamer, Kashi bar

Lunch: Healthy Choice Steamer lunch (not sure which one yet) oh and tea whenever I need it…and more water…

Well, we didn’t have any trick or treaters so there is a big pile of candy sitting over there!  But luckily most of it is candy corn and I hate candy corn! (Definitely good news!!!)  The weekend flew by, Saturday was a lot of lounging…well, I lounged and DH did a bunch of stuff…(guilt, guilt!)  Then Sunday, I did work out and then we went out to get me a new desk..I thought I was picking a lovely, simple desk…it turned into hours and hours of work for DH & DD!  (more guilt!!!!)  It is together now but I need to go get a desk lamp and a mat to make sure the chair doesn’t damage the carpet.  (Rental house you know…)  I didn’t eat any candy but I did have a SB peppermint mocha and a brownie (after dinner)  I actually think my calories were in line and I didn’t have any massive cravings so that is good news.  I have a shoulder problem…numbness down my arm, and lack of mobility…  I am getting bodywork done this morning and see if it helps.  It is a new therapist so we will see…her credentials seem good.  But if I am going to get on that elliptical this morning I better get going.  The rest of the day is guaranteed to fly I am sure!

Yesterday was good!  I cut up the chicken breasts and sauteed them in teriyaki sauce.  I had a small piece of corn on the cob with butter, and 2 small bisquits…got more water in than I have in awhile and no more Halloween candy!  Yay me!  I also stretched before meditation and bedtime…it helped a lot!  That is going to be part of my routine now.  I also read a chapter in a favorite book instead of using tv to fall asleep.  I still had some bad dreams…I also woke up with a kind of hot flash but at least it was better than the last few days.  I also remember waking up with my head stuffed up…some pretty bad sinus pain.  It left me with a headache that has made me wary…  I took some Tylenol and slept for another hour or so.  It hasn’t left completely but I think it will.

I have had…a cup of coffee w/creamer, one Kashi granola bar, and a protein shake w/skim milk.  I am getting ready to go work out.  The plan is elliptical…30mins…and some weights, ab work, and stretches.  I also think that we will be making the walk to the store again today, hopefully I can get my glasses fixed finally! 

Okay, about five months ago, things had gotten really stressful for me and I was using power yoga for some pretty intense therapy.  Well, it was going well, I was stronger than I had ever been, flexible and powerful and then I did this one class with a different instructor and I must have done something wrong…because it was the next day and my knee has been giving me crap ever since.  I finally went to the Dr. and got a diagnosis…bursitis…basically the fluid sacs around my knee were enflamed and there really isn’t too much that you can do for it other than rest, ice, heat, and elevation.  That was months and months ago.  It has been truly miserable for me.  I am an exercise addict…when I don’t get it my head gets really pretty ugly…almost like depression I think. Anyway, it all came at a time when we were planning a move and had so much to do.  Well, we did make it through some how and I am finally able to start easing back into my routines.  I started this morning…it felt so wonderful to work out again.  But at the same time it was a little disheartening to see how far I had regressed in the months that I was off.  I felt so tight, so out of shape… What a fall from what I had achieved months ago…ugh…  I did 30 mins on the elliptical…at level 4 (I usually have it on 7) I did some 5 pound dumbbells while standing on a Bosu…and some crunches on the stability ball..then some yoga stretches…  Then I did legs up the wall pose for about 5 mins…  I am not sure how many crunches I did…  But I felt wonderful enough that DD & I also walked the 1.5 miles to the store.  I wanted to get my glasses fixed, unfortunately they were closed…so we went to the store and picked up a few things we needed and came home…(it is actually quite a hike, there is a pretty major hill at the end) So I have done an extra 3 miles as well! Yay me!

Food…2 mini candy bars when I woke up (I know, but it was before the feel good work out!) A bowl of GoLean Crunch cereal with skim milk and a cup of coffee with a splash of creamer

Lunch after the walk was: a chicken drumstick, some brown rice, and an AWESOME organic pair…some unsweetened green tea w/lemon

Dinner is going to be chicken breasts, corn on the cob, and bisquits…I will probably have a bit of the left over brown rice as well. 

Frankly, lately the Halloween candy has been a bit of a temptation…today…after my workout it has blended back into the background where it belongs and I believe that it will continue to do so.  It was a beautiful walk…the trees smelled so good…the ravens were calling…and the sunshine felt welcoming instead of attacking! (Which is how I always felt in Hawaii…I know…sad, right?)

So we went to see Nickelback last weekend!  I am thrilled and disappointed all at the same time.  Now I am thrilled because we got out of town, went to a concert, stayed in a hotel, did some shopping, and saw a movie.  Disappointed because Chad’s voice simply didn’t sound as good as he did four years ago when we saw them…he seemed a little too interested in getting smashed and high and a little less concerned about the lovely back bendy guitar riffs that I live for…  Now, don’t get me wrong…even a a bad Nickelback concert is a blast and I am not truly complaining but at the same time it is a little sad.  Also, through probably a combination of things I had a migraine for the next day and a half…Ugh.  So, most of Sunday and all of Monday I laid on the couch doing absolutely nothing.  This morning was much better, I got a little more sleep, I got stuff done that I needed to do, and studied the rest of the afternoon…though my score on my quiz was extremely disappointing…I hate 70! :(  Anyway, I am not sure how my weight is settling out, I didn’t get the walk that I had planned in either…soooo…not the best way to start the week…but hey…that is okay…tomorrow is a new day right?

It is not our own new house like we planned…it is a rental…but it is a beautiful rental…the most beautiful house that I have ever lived in…in a beautiful gated community that has gorgeous mature trees of all kinds and wild life of all sorts.  It is the perfect place for me to spend a couple of years getting myself back together and breathing with forest.  Our move was a nightmare…the movers broke a lot of our things…long story and I will probably share more about that later…  I have a busy day but I wanted to get back on here and let everyone know that I am back and am working myself back into the mindset of getting things back on track.  I weighed this morning at 180. Yeah. Not what I would have wanted to share…but I have also been able to do 2 1 hour walks outside this week and some yoga stretches that I haven’t been able to do in months.  I have also started meditation again…and I feel more energized and strong than I have felt in a long time.  I believe it is the new house and the feeling that it gives me of forest all around.  We are a little more out in the boondocks than we have ever been and that is definitely going to have an impact on our spending.  It has already and I can’t say that that is a bad thing at this time in our life.  We need to get things as put together as possible right now.  The unpacking is coming along…we have a lot of things left but we are making progress every day.  I feel optimistic…I feel good…I feel happy…  Oh! And I have picked up my classwork again!  Personal Finance…did my first lesson yesterday…95! Yay me!

Still feeling extremely fat…  Not anywhere close to a scale at the moment thank you very much!  The eating has not been as bad as it was prior to the move…like I said my Mom is a genius in the kitchen, she has been making very lovely mostly balanced meals.  But with my cycle I have been grabbing extras…candy bars occasionally…splitting godiva cheesecake w/DH at the mall.  We have both been stressing out.  We had been looking into buying our first home…did you know what a goat rope that is??!!!  It is insane…and so not going to happen at this moment in our life.  I was very much looking forward to the freedom of having the dog of my dreams (a big one) but as always it looks like that will have to wait. I am sooo tired of waiting… I have been waiting 40 years…that feels like such a long time.  Anyway…enough pity party…DH always feels horrible when we have to put it off…it isn’t his fault…it must be just not meant for me right now.  So hard to accept…  I feel like I have probably gained…and when I don’t take my knee stuff it starts to hurt…but I can’t take it with my stuff for my period…great….  so…feeling a little sorry for myself…trying not to…wanted to have more uplifting words for you all…sorry about that… 

My Mom is the Queen of the Kitchen…:)  And luckily, she is also the Queen of Veggies…soo…I am enjoying some lovely downtime…  The past few months have been very stressful…and with my knee problems still continuing to plague my progress I have had several added challenges to deal with.  Well, I am not sure of my weight..but I know it is pretty ugly…I will check in down the road…not even sure when that will be but I can tell you how things are going eating wise and that will have to be enough.  There have been several indulgences lately but no out of control binging and that is enough for me.  I also bought a pair of those rocker bottom shoes and will start using them a bit at a time.  They feel wonderful!  The only thing I am concerned about is if it will bother my knee which is still giving me crap…  I wear a brace on it a lot of the time and that seems to be helping some.  Today, I had a coffee and some toast for breakfast…(I know, light on protein) we were running some errands today so it was an odd day…I had lunch late…I had some almonds on the run…a small piece of chocolate in the car..a couple of crackers and hummus when I got home and a croissant a little later…  For dinner it was some baked chicken…lots of salad…corn…carrots and summer squash and water.  Ooh!  I had a coffee when I was out…and I am about to have a hot chocolate…(60cals…)gotta love Keurig!!!  (My new passion is my Mom’s coffee pot!!)  Anyway, not awesome…not sucky…and I am giving myself a break…thank you so much for your much needed support…  I will try to update here as I can spare a minute…  I am doing much better…aside from awful time I have when I try to buy new jeans…I believe that it will turn around as soon as I can work out again…Just Breathe…Just Believe…

Yeah, that is all I got right now!  My jeans do not fit!  It is soooo frustrating!  I am going to have buy bigger jeans when we get back to cold weather…  I am hoping that when my knee heals up and I can get back to my workouts they will go back to their original size!  Damn drier! hehehe

Anyway, I am going to be very busy for the next…ohhh…couple of months so I will be checking in here when I get a minute and I hope that when things settle down I can go back to being an inspiration to myself like I used to be.  In some ways I am hugely proud of myself…my growth…my wisdom…my achievements…and in other ways I have slipped and fallen.  I am picking myself up again…  It is just taking me some time.

Well, at least it was only the battle right?  Donut and coffee…awesome tasting but not really worth the buzzy headachey feeling I was already dealing with.  I know what happened..last night caught up with me, I have been attempting to let things go easier…so as to deal with the whole emotional eating problem you know?  But, I think I only manage to do it on the surface…and it still lies under there and waits until my guard is down and then *BOOM* it heads me for the donuts!  It started with the movies…DD & I went to see Sorceror’s Apprentice.  It was great and we had the theater ALL to ourselves!!  Our own personal screening, doesn’t get better than that!  We went early and it has been playing for awhile.  Anyway, we were on our way home and the phone rang…it was an unknown number so I let it go to voicemail.  When I got home I listened to the voicemail and it was a new coworker.  I work for a Dogwalking company and she wanted to meet me to get a hand off on a key for a client.  I was only supposed to have one more week left for work since the movers are coming next week.  Well, I had talked to my boss last weekend and I thought everything was pretty clear, I would take any walks that came up this week and then hand off my key.  Well, it really confused me what was happening…so I called her back…then called my boss.  What the problem was this…the conversation with my boss wasn’t really the important thing.  It was the feeling that after everything I had done for my boss, the company, and my clients I was being treated very dismissively.  I realize now that that was just thinking about my own feelings but that is the first thing that happens when you get your feelings hurt I suppose.  After a little further discussion I realize that there is a bigger scope of things going on and everything.  I even thought that I had let it go and moved past it but there it was this morning…pushing me towards the coffee and donuts….  Argh…not as much progress made as I thought…sigh.