I need to lose 40 pounds. now.

Good news:   I didn’t eat anything sugar sweet.

Bad news:  I ate toooo much WAY too much and justtified it with a bit of exercise

Oh my gosh, even though it’s been forever since I’ve been here, I have lost weight and YAY! I get to go shopping. See goals.

Well my second baby is weaned, I’m back to work, and back to pre second baby weight. I start again. 40 pounds. Im running now which is good. The eating is still out of control.  Meh.

The bad news:  I have torn a muscle in my outer ab muscles and doc says i can NOT do anything but jog or bike.  No more Tae Kwon Do for me for 4-6 weeks.   BUMMER!!!  I was really starting to build muscle.

Anyway, I have these protein shakes I will have one for breakfast tomorrow.  I am going to run right after work instead of Tae Kwon Do.

I went to the store and got lots of little healthy snakes because Ben is bringing treats to work tomorrow and I don’t want any!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!

i have not lost a pound for a month now, and I need to get movin’!!!!

I did really good yesterday.  I ate about 2000 calories which is good for me.  I burn about 2300 a day normally, and I nurse which is another 300 or so.  Things were good.

Today would have been great if it wasnt for a burrito at chipotles and ice cream cake at cold stone.

Yum!

At least I burned about 400 calories exercising.

I got some protein shakes for a snack i hope they help.

I Mean i do really good until  like 5pm and then everything goes downhill again.  today the cole slaw and potato chips did me in.  Tomorrow ill try again.

omg today my four year old pointed to an overweight lady and said she looked like me.  Heartbreaking!!!

I mean I am not working!!!

I just can’t get started eating right yet.  I keep saying tomorrow tomorrow but then I still eat like crap.

What is it going to take?  I want to be back to my pre-kids weight but I don’t have an hour every day to exercise and I just love food SO MUCH!!!!!!!

SO.   TOMORROW?   For realz?  Do I doubt myself again?  I want to wear NORMAL sized clothes.

Not gigant-a-pant.

It looks like I lost some poundage despite my trip to McDs.  That’s goodl   I decided not to get upset about stupid stuff at work, looked for some good in what I was doing, and found it.  It is much better to have a good attitude, make work easier.  I know I am still the energy drainer in the group, but working towards not being that person.  Actually, I think that probably other people don’t see me as a drainer, but I am just sensitive about it.   I have Tae Kwon Do today, but I don’t burn calories doing that, just muscle building. I HOPE I can get a walk in before I go to bed.

Man the crabbiness really got to me at work.  I had a bad attitude.  I was the energy drainer of my team and I hate to be that.  I want to energize people!!!!   All I did was complain waah waah waah.  Tomorrow I will turn that around.

The worst part of the day was the Big Mac and fries I ate.  They were good, but what a terrible choice.  The good news is that I burned off 300 calories at the gym….just hill walking on the treadmill.

I even got 20 minutes to practice my bass.

The best part of my day was that I got to watch my little dreamy girl complete her first Tae Kwon Do class all on her own.  Her eyes sparkled and shined.  She is so beautiful.  Man, I love that girl.

And when I am crabby I eat.

I just had my ‘treat’ which is a soy latte.  I have 10 mins for lunch at the cafe near work.  I am SUPER crabby.   I am crabby at work and at the in-law.

I need to get my focus off my crabbiness and on to my weight loss and my kids.

I don’t understand how my mom and my hubby’s mom spend such little time with their grandkids.  I can’t wait to have grand children  I will spend as much time as possible with them.  Social parties and making quilts will not come before my grandchildren.

Today I have to take little Lucy to Tae Kwon Do, and then SOMEHOW I need to get my own exercise in.  Maybe I can get 20 mins on a treadmill.

Day one, again…..it’s a dreary poopy Monday and I could use some motivation.  MUST MUST MUST FIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe I can buy something on Etsy.   HEEEE!!!!!!!!