Curious ramblings of an eternal optimist

A note about English: In class Wednesday, the instructor said that his previous class only had two students and they both failed!! Dude! What the heck does that say about you as an instructor that your only two students failed?!?! So glad I opted out of the class. Smart move on my part. 100%.

Binge……

Believing
I’m
Not
Good
Enough

Where has my head been?! I need to stop. I need to get my butt into gear. Work out. Eat healthy. Make SMART choices. Not later. Not tomorrow. Not next week. NOW.

I think I’m going to get The Firm Wave off of ebay. Watching one listing for it now, and (for now) it’s cheap. I’ll give myself TV time if I watch it while I’m doing that. And hand weights. Sigh. Only concern is that my ankle has been hurting more and more. I think I’m going to by that sleeping brace at Target.

Finally got my final grades!

Theory overall grade: 99.55%

Study Skills overall grade: 97%

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The second term has begun. Theory 2 is going well so far, still only 3 of us. English started too. That class as 5 people. We all took a pre-test, and the school says you need 75% or higher to test out. Instructor advised that 85% is preferred. I only got an 80%…but I decided I’m going to opt out. I can follow along on my own, and those 3 hours Wednesday are much needed.

It’s only Wednesday and I’ve already logged FOUR hours of RTC! Kudos to me.

So once I opt out of English, I’ll only have class Tues/Thurs.

That means Mon/Wed/Fri can be my work-out days! AND I’ll have the weekend if I want to feel like I need to do extra.

My weight is just not good right now. Way too much junk food binging.

K is awake. Time to go.

Still have no idea what my grade is in Theory 1. I cannot find it! I found my grade for Study Skills, so I know I’m looking in the right place. Grr…checking one more time…

*click clack tappity-tap*

Okay, the man has no idea what he’s talking about. The grades are not posted. I emailed the other two girls in class to see if either of them has found their grades. Ridiculous.

Didn’t work out much over the weekend even though I meant to.

Need to work out a new weekly schedule that I can actually stick to….especially since I now have a THREE HOUR class on Wednesday nights. Ouch.

If I can get in at least an hour of homework everyday at work, that will help a lot.

…..I need to go work on that chart now.

Happy Mardi Gras!

99.5%

Did you read that? 99.5%

Let me say it one more time: 99.5%!!!!!!!

That’s the grade I got on my Theory 1 final. Hell.YES.

My only error was that I wrote “course” when I should have written “coarse”. Oops.

Still not sure what my overall grade for the course was. Grades were supposedly posted, but I can’t find them. Grr. Come on dude.

I keep thinking I hear baby C crying. Very hard to relax and listen to music when I’m in a perpetual state of “is that crying? is she awake? is she going to wake up baby K?”

My mother is nuts.

She called to tell me my cousin (finally) got engaged. Then she’s like “Oh, they are coming to your area for a long weekend in April. Maybe they can stay with you.”

….wtf?

a) I work 45 hours (sometimes more) every week.

b) I have 5 hours of class time every week.

c) I have 10+ hours of homework every week. This is not an exaggeration. I MUST log 10 hours of practice time every.single.week.

d) I do not want to give up my room for them for a long weekend. No. I don’t want to sleep on the gross, old couch for 3 or 4 nights. I don’t want to sleep in the living room that is crazy bright. Selfish? Yes. Oh well. I don’t want to.

e) I do not have the free time to entertain them for an entire weekend. I barely have time to schedule a date for myself once a week. I can barely find time to work out!

f) My mom doesn’t even know what weekend it is! Sure! let me block off every single weekend in April for them JUST in case that’s the weekend. Are you high?!?!?!

I swear she stresses me out sometimes SO much. I feel like I am a bundle of knots this week. GARH!

*deep breath*

Valentine’s Day was yesterday. I sent him a text around 10.20pm my time to tell him happy valentine’s day. When I didn’t hear back from him….I was like Okay. There’s my answer.

So what does he go and do? Texts me this morning. “Hey. Happy post vday babe. ”

…..let me go bang my head on the wall for a while.

Been a few days since my last post. Oops.

My weekend was filled of things to do. Friday night I tackled my room after work. Took all of my books off my bookshelf, emptied my desk, took the drawers out of my dresser. Got a neighbor to come over to help move two pieces of furniture. The rest I was able to do by myself.

Then I put my books back ON the bookshelf. I have a bunch of text books I need to donate or try and sell.

My new bed came bright and early Saturday morning! LOVE it! Saturday night I barely moved at all. My flat sheet is still tucked in!!! THAT is how little I am moving in my awesome new bed. Last night I moved around more, but that’s because of TOM.

Eating has gotten way off track. So I need to push that back into action.

I was looking at my school schedule, and WOWZA! Almost finished the first 10 weeks. Eek! Already? It seems so soon. I’m a little nervous to move onto Theory 2.

I made a bold decision regarding the guy. I need to delete his number from my phone. I’ve been slowly deleting texts from him. When they’re all gone (I have 4 left…my 4 favorites…) I will delete his number.

I will also NOT text him. Unless he texts me. If I don’t hear from him by March 3rd/4th, then I will send my last text to him. Something like “You’re a great guy. Hope you find what you’re looking for. Sorry it isn’t me.”

Maybe that sounds a little emo. I guess I wish him all the best….but I do think, even though he wouldn’t admit it, that he was disappointed in me that weekend. Hey, me and the $$$ I’ll never get back were pretty disappointed too buck-o.

Oh! I also have a new action plan. Starting the week of Feb 20th (new school session starts that day, so I’ll find out when my classes are), I plan to make it a goal to have at least 1 date every week. Brunch, coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks….SOMETHING. I need to force myself out there and make myself be social. I also need to finish my room organizing and start exercising more.

To do list to accomplish by Feb 20th:

-finish organizing room

-regular exercising (start slow, like WATP DVD’s)

-delete his # from my phone

-start the process of making regular dates for myself.

Two weeks from today. I can do it.

Baby C and I got to go out and about again yesterday.

First we went to lunch at this delicious mexican restaurant. Apparently the two of us were too darn adorable, because the waiter brought over a free scoop of ice cream. Too nice! So yeah…he got a big tip. C was so well behaved. Coloring, munching on food, telling people hello. Really really well behaved.

Then, we were on our way to the post office. But we had to drive past the gas station where they have this hand-held car wash thing. So I wanted to use it to wash my car. I put my money in, but then I couldn’t figure out how to use it (spaz). So I got into my car and I was driving over to where the cashier is….when I see a woman jump back as if a car (speeding past her) was about to hit her. Then I realized…the guy driving off was stealing her car!! So I rolled down the window and I was like “did he just steal your car?!” and her response?

“Someone was in the car? I thought it was moving by itself!” (I kid you not.) So I called 911 for her and described the guy. Gave her my phone so she could describe her car. A police officer came to the gas station and took down all of my information and got me to describe the guy again. I tried my best, but his clothes weren’t too distinct…he didn’t have glasses…maybe a little facial scruff. I think I guessed correctly about his weight (about 300) and he was black.

So…this poor woman. I hope they caught the guy. It’s sad that no one else in the gas station even glanced up. Even when the police officer was talking to us. People are in their own little world. Which is partially why the woman got her car stolen…she wasn’t paying attention to anything around her. She didn’t even see the guy get into her car! Guess she’s lucky I’m so nosy. haha

So then C and I went to the post office and the grocery store before going home so she could take a second nap.

Still no call from the mattress store as to when my bed will be delivered. I think I’m going to try and move everything around tonight…and just put my box spring and mattress on the floor where I want my new bed to go. It’ll be easier that way I think. Plus, this way I can vacuum my floor really well before the new bed is delivered.

Last night on my old bed!! Bye-bye mattress. You’ve been fun.

At first I thought i was going to have to do a double post yesterday. But then I realized that I could change the date on the previous post. So I did that instead.

Talked to him more on the 31st. He got the mug! And it arrived safely! And he loved it!!! *swoon*

I was in class when he texted me. Was literally so excited that my hands started shaking. I missed an entire sentence because I couldn’t make my fingers work properly! THAT is how excited I was to hear from him. Ridiculous. I am a teenager.

I’m supposed to have a date tomorrow night…and…not exactly thrilled about it. No offense to the guy! I just have a ton of stuff to do in terms of my room and moving stuff around. But I feel like if I cancel, that will be the last I hear from him. Which still doesn’t break my heart. But I will feel a little bad. So I’ll go. Man, this week has been horrible for my diet. Tomorrow will be no different. BLAAAAAAAH

And I’m almost at TOM. Fun times! Explains the massive salt cravings.

My mood, that is.

After 5 very long days, he texted. Only 2 texts the entire day…which again, emphasizes that I am NOT important to him (though it was a very busy work day, he didn’t even take lunch). But still. I know where I stand. I need to keep telling myself this. I need to move on. Move forward.

Actually, I really need to focus on me and get my booty to the gym.

Is it bad that when I’m all slender and toned and hot I want to send him a bikini pic to be like “too bad you decided I wasn’t worth your time…” ?

We’ll see if I’m feeling more mature by then. lol

Bought my Newsies tickets today! Woo! Way too much money? Oh yeah. Worth it? Oh yeah!

Also got sheets for my new bed. They feel really comfortable! (Hopefully will stay that way after I wash them). They are purple! If I can find some more Bed Bath & Beyond coupons I’ll go get the matching pillow cases and another set in a different color.

I haven’t weighed in much lately. Haven’t been very good with staying on track food wise. :-/

But I am WAY on top of things homework wise! It’s only Tuesday and I’ve already done almost 4 hours of work. AWESOME! I have the cheer in my head. A-W-E, S-O-M-E, Awesome, Awesome! To-ta-lly.

I want to join pinterest….but I don’t want to convert my facebook to Timeline! Boo…

It’s Thursday !!!!!

Do you know what that means? Do you?!? It means that tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!!! And then it’s the weekend!!!

YESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m disappointed that my weight is up 2 pounds since Monday. Not SURPRISED at all. But disappointed.

So. Weekend plans. Here is my weekend to-do list:

-Fold all of laundry (maybe I can do this tonight actually)

-Put away all of laundry (ditto. Do tonight?)

-Go through blue suitcase. Empty. Put back in closet

-Go through vera bradley bag. Empty. Put in box, in closet.

-Go through pile of mail. Toss magazines. I have way too many.

-Measure to see if I can fit a queen mattress in my room. Consider rearranging room.

Ohmygosh. I’m working on some new layouts for my room right now in a paint program. I think I know what will work. Really well. And a queen bed will fit. It’ll suck slightly because my bed will be right next to the window, but I’ll lower my bed to “normal” height and it won’t be as bad. I need to go design more. Will add to this post later.

———

OMG OMG OMG. Stupid stupid woman at post office.

So, I bring in my package to mail to “the guy”. I bought him a Minnie mug to add to his collection. The box had the good packing tape on it from previous shipping, but when I closed it (before going to post office) I had only used 5 pieces of scotch tape. So I wanted the woman at the post office to put on the special priority mail tape, then tape the label onto the box, and then put the postage info.

…Except she wouldn’t listen to me. At all. So she put the priority tape on it, but it was along the outside edges. Is she a complete idiot?! How long has she been working at a post office?!?!?!?! Who doesn’t put tape across the OPENING OF THE BOX????

I will cry if it’s broken or ruined. Guess I’ll find out in a few days. Let’s see. I mailed it priority. It’ll ship tomorrow, Friday. So it should hopefully be there…Monday? Tuesday at the latest.

…and I hope he likes it.