How did I get here?

Posted by primaballerina on August 17th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

What a summer…Update coming soon…

Checking in…

Posted by primaballerina on July 23rd, 2009 |Filed Under General, Thinspiration, Weight Watchers | 1 Comment

It’s been a while… I have some bad news. I’m almost definitely back up to 173. I don’t know how I keep yo-yoing so much! Every time I have a victory (like getting under 170) it’s followed by another roadblock.  Actually, that’s a lie about not knowing why I’ve been yo-yoing. I haven’t been working out, I’ve been overworked, and my eating hasn’t been the best (although I have been trying).  I need to get re-focused. I feel fat and jiggly all over.  I have also missed my last 2 meetings because I’ve been out of town and believe it or not, there are no other meetings that I can make it to with my schedule the way it’s been lately.  BUT, I am going to face the music on Saturday morning, and I’m sure it’s going to be UGLY.  I actually got on my scale this week and was up to 176. YIKES!! How is it possible for me to gain 6 lbs in a week?!

I need a plan. I need to get re-focused.

I need to remember the reasons why I’m doing this. Let’s review:

1) I am 25. I’m too young to feel bad about my appearance. These are supposed to be the best years of my life!!

2) I have a great life. I have a great career, a great family and a great boyfriend who loves me no matter what I look like.  The only thing that’s holding me back is how I feel about myself.

3) I want to be able to fit into my old clothes and purge my current wardrobe and buy cute new clothes to fit my cute new body!

4) I feel better when I exercise and eat right- I like how i feel when food isn’t running my life.

5) Diabetes runs in my family. I don’t want it.

6) I want to be able to enjoy a weekend at the cottage and not worry about looking fat in pictures.

and a new one….

7) My mom is taking me to Greece next year, and I want to be able to wear a bikini in Santorini!

It’s time for me to get back into an exercise program, too….Turbo Jam, here I come!

Thanks for stopping by :)

Weigh-In, Week 24

Posted by primaballerina on July 4th, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weigh-Ins, Weight Watchers | 3 Comments

Woo hoo!! I am FINALLY below 170!!

Weigh-in today was 169.8.  That means only 0.8 until I reach my 10% goal! I can’t believe how long this has taken. If I was at home I would have reached this goal a long time ago.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I was up again next week, since that seems to be the trend, but we’ll see. I’m trying to stay positive.

They were giving out the chocolate chip brownie bars at the meeting.  I’m just eating mine now, and I have to say- not worth the 2 points, in my opinion.  blech.

I’ve done okay with my eating this week. I’ve been very good at breakfast and lunch, and I had subway a few times this week.  I never used to eat subway more than once a week because of the sodium in the turkey. It used to really affect me. But, it seems that my body is adjusting.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, it seems.

I have several dinners out this week, so I’m not all that hopeful about losing again, but I’ll just continue to do my best.  I’m feeling very good about getting under 170, even though it’s only 0.2 under! :)  My total loss is 17.2 lbs, which means I have 44.8 to go.  Hopefully I can reach it by graduation in May 2010!

Weigh-In, Week 22 and 23

Posted by primaballerina on June 30th, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weigh-Ins, Weight Watchers | 1 Comment

After such an exciting loss on week 21, I was back up to 173 on Week 22. :(

Boo.  I’m just yo-yoing. It’s so frustrating. I lose and then gain the same 2-3 lbs over and over and over again.  I know I’m doing the best I can do, considering my circumstances, but still…I just really want to be under 170.

Last friday was my 25th birthday. I had a goal to be down 25 lbs by that date and I am only down 15.  Oh well. I guess 15 is better than 0.  Unfortunately I have been very ill since my birthday and am actually home sick from work today. I don’t have much of an appetite but am feeling like maybe I could eat something now.  I missed my meeting on Saturday because I was out of town, but will definitely be going this week.  I just stepped on my scale and I’m down to 170.2- so close!  Then again it’s 2pm and I have’t eaten anything yet today, so I don’t know that it’s the most accurate number.  I just SO desperately need to reach a goal or do something to get myself motivated again.  I agree with Tracy’s comment on my last post- I wish I could just pick up a box of motivation at the store!

Weigh In, Week 21

Posted by primaballerina on June 13th, 2009 |Filed Under Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Further proof that my body makes no sense. This week I lost 2.4. This is actually the most weight I’ve EVER lost in a week (I lost 2.4 once before- week 8, maybe?). Anyway, I’m happy to be down into 170, but it’s not really that exciting, considering I gained 2 lbs last week. It’s really like I lost 0.4, but I’ll take it.  Current weight is 170.6.  Total pounds lost: 16.4, and  45.6 lbs to go.

I’m trying so hard to get back into the swing of things…I didn’t think I did that well this week, but I guess I did better than I thought. I’d really like to get into the 160s, and now I think it’s attainable.  Maybe even next week!  169 is my 10%, and it would also put me one step down on the BMI scale (29- still overweight, but better than 30!).  It is actually ridiculous how long I’ve been yo-yoing, and I’m just really tired of it. I wanted to lose another 15 lbs this summer, and so far I’ve lost 1.6.  I really have to get my ass in gear. I need to have something to show for myself when I go back to my original WW meeting.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- I never realized how helpful those meetings can be until I no longer had a good one to go to.  I’ve been to 2 different meetings in the past month and a half, and I find myself SO bored…I can’t stand the leaders and they treat the meetings like a marketing seminar- all they do is try to sell the WW food! It’s ridiculous. I didn’t sign up for that. It’s like being at a tupperware party (remember those? do they still have those?)

Well, I’m off to have bruch with a friend. We’re going for thai….I guess this is my treat for the week!!  Have a great week, everyone, and wish me luck….

blah again…

Posted by primaballerina on June 10th, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weight Watchers | 2 Comments

:(

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, but it’s just not happening.  Again, I feel like I’m really doing the best I can. I’m really good at breakfast and lunch, and I try my best at dinner, but without being able to measure things, I know I’m not losing.  Again.  GRR!! This is so frustrating. If I had continued at the rate I was going at before, I would be down another 10 lbs by now.  This is ridiculous.

Just had vietnamese for dinner. I haven’t had it since I’ve been home, and I’m trying to mix up my food a bit in an effort to get the weight coming off again. This lack of progress is really discouraging to me and it’s making my motivation dwindle…What I really want right now is a giant brownie.

Weigh-In, Week 20

Posted by primaballerina on June 7th, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weigh-Ins, Weight Watchers | 2 Comments

WTF.  I gained 2 lbs.  I have NEVER gained more than 0.8 in a week, and I wrote that off as salt bloat.  2 lbs?! I’m back up to 173. I feel like getting into the 160s is an impossible task. I’ve been yo-yoing between 173 and 171 for the past 7 weeks. I feel like I’ve been wasting time, but I know that I need to be cooking my own food to be successful.  What can I do apart from eating at subway every night? I do fine with breakfast and lunch, but I can’t control dinner. It’s basically impossiblet to know what’s going into your food when you eat in a restaurant.  I feel helpless. No matter how specific I am with my instructions for preparation, it seems that I can’t ever get exactly what I want.  I am SO disappointed. :(

Mid-Week 20

Posted by primaballerina on June 3rd, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weight Watchers | Leave a Comment

Uugh.  I miss my kitchen!!!!!

I’m SO BORED of eating oatmeal for breakfast, tuna and soup for lunch….I miss when I used to make my meals at home and eat all sorts of different things.  I think it helps my weight loss to eat a variety of foods, too. I just don’t know what to do sometimes!  I always end up blowing it at dinner since I can’t measure my food, and often I have no control over the menu.  I know I’m constantly whining about this, but GRR!! It’s SO frustrating, especially because I was really in a groove when I moved home.

I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like working out. I just want to lay in bed and watch tv. I’m just feeling SO lazy.  I stepped on the scale and I was at 173 lbs.  I have a feeling I’m not going to lose this week since I have 2 more days until my weigh-in.  BF is at work late again and I’m starving. I think I might just go ahead and eat without him.

I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin all this week. I feel like my clothes don’t fit me (how is this possible when I’m wearing the same clothes and I’m 15 lbs lighter?!), I feel flabby..i hate it.  Also, a girl I work with got SUPER offended when someone estimated that she weighed 150 lbs.  She went CRAZY- it was as if someone thought she weighed 500 lbs! I was like, well, great, I wonder how horrified she’d be if she heard that I weigh 170.  (Also, for the record, this girl isn’t all that skinny- she probably weighs close to 150, if not more…)

I’m also super bummed because my cousin is talking about eloping now, and I was supposed to be a bridesmaid in her wedding…and I was REALLY excited about it. :(  It was my goal to be down 40 lbs (147lbs) by her wedding.  I mean, I guess I can still aim for that date, but it’s disappointing.

If anyone has any great words of inspiration, I’d love to hear them.  I’m losing steam.

Weigh Ins, Week 18 and 19

Posted by primaballerina on May 31st, 2009 |Filed Under General, Weigh-Ins, Weight Watchers | 1 Comment

Hi everyone,

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately! Work and life has been nuts…I had a bad week last week and gained 0.8- my biggest gain to date.  I blame it on weighing in at the end of the day. I think you get a very skewed number by doing that, and for someone who generally loses a little bit each week, it can be very discouraging.  Anyway, I was really turned off by the lady who weighed me in- she was pretty harsh when she told me I had gained, and wasn’t encouraging at all like my old leader was. I was also so bored at the meeting that I got up and left before it was over.  I called my ww buddy who informed me that she hadn’t been to a meeting in 2 weeks becaus she hasn’t been doing well and she “feels bad about herself” when she goes.  This is frustrating to me because I can’t be there to hold her hand through this, but she complains about how she wants to do well and doesn’t put in any effort at all.  To top it all off, she won’t even go and face the music after a week of bingeing.  I can’t force her to go, but it’s really disappointing to me.

On to the better news- I found a Saturday morning meeting near my place, so I’ve switched my Weigh-in day to Saturday.  I liked the group better, and I’m happy to be able to weigh in in the morning.  AND, I lost 1.6 this week! I’m down to 171 lbs and my total loss is 16 lbs.  I’m proud of myself for losing anything considering the circumstances of my life right now.  2 more lbs to my 10%!!

Would love to hear how everyone else is doing.  I am really trying to get re-focused because I really want to have a decent loss by the time I go back to school.  I don’t want to throw my summer away!  I just need to remember the reasons I’m doing this in the first place. I’m going to read over my blog today so that I remember just how far I’ve come.  Yesterday I picked up a 10 lb weight and a 5 lb weight- I can’t imagine how tired I’d be if I had to carry those around all day!  That put it into perspective for me that 16 lbs is great progress.  My goal for this week is to get in a workout every weekday. I did turbo jam a few times this week, but not as often as I’d like.  I have been doing really well with my food at work- I’ve been getting accustomed to my schedule and I’m not starving anymore.  I still miss my kitchen, though… Thankfully there’s a Subway right across the street from me- I think that it will be my saving grace!

Have a great week!

Update: I just went out for a super long mall-walk with BF…bought 2 cardigans for work and some Dr. Brant Microdermabrasion face scrub from Sephora.  I LOVE this stuff!!  It’s so expensive, but I figure I deserve a treat for hitting 15 lbs :)

Looong Weekend!

Posted by primaballerina on May 17th, 2009 |Filed Under General, Turbo Jam, Weight Watchers | 1 Comment

Hi everyone,

It’s the long weekend and life is great.  I spent some quality time with my cousin (the one whose wedding I’m going to be a bridesmaid in), and tonight I’m off to visit my parents with my BF.  The weather is beautiful, I’m home sweet home, and I couldn’t be happier!

My job is going really well- I love my boss and my co-workers are great, and the work is really interesting so far.  I’m definitely getting more settled into my routine. I’ve done well with my lunches this week, and I think I’ve figured out a solution to my problem with being ready for lunch at 10:30 am.  The issue is that I leave for work so early, so I’ve been eating breakfast really early.  So, this week, I went to the breakfast buffet with BF and had approximately 1/2 a cup of plain yogurt with about the same amount of melon.  Then when I got to work I had some oatmeal with splenda.  That was enough to tide me over until about 1pm.  Then I’d have some carrots, soup, tuna and melba toast (spread out over an hour and a half or so).

I’m proud of myself because I’ve worked out on both Friday and today. I even did the ab routine today! I’m really doing my best to get back into the swing of things, and I think I’ll try to go for a run while I’m at home tomorrow.

We’re going out for Chinese food tonight- should be delicious (and extremely high-point) but I’m just going to take it a day at a time.

Happy Victoria Day to all the Canadians!  And to all the Americans, hope you’re having a great regular-length weekend :)


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