Stepped on the scale just now and am at 179.8.  Better than yesterday, although it is after noon and I haven’t eaten yet.

Took a rest day yesterday and my hips feel 100% again. I’m going again today with one of my running buddies and we’ll probably do 4k. Haven’t managed to get my butt in gear to do pilates yet, but maybe today will be the day…

I just found out that I’m going to be a bridesmaid AGAIN! Operation: Don’t Be The Fat Bridesmaid is in full-swing once more (it was unsuccessful for the last wedding). There isn’t a date yet, but it will likely be before Christmas. I MUST be in the 160s before this wedding happens.

I’m hoping to get a pilates session in today. I think it would really help with my endurance. It will also help me tone up and get into the dress I want to wear for my grad in a month and a half.

I am still disappointed in myself for letting my weight get away from me again….but all i can do is take it one day at a time. I’d like to be in the 160s by the time I graduate. I’ve been trying to get there for over a year, and every time I get close, something happens to throw me off.  Sigh. I don’t know if it’s realistic to expect to lose over 10 lbs in 7 weeks, but that’s what I’m going to try to do.

I’ve also not been going to WW….I can’t really afford it anymore and I feel embarrassed to go back. Sigh.

I want to start running again but keep getting conflicting information from my health care professionals (because of my back surgery). I’ve decided that I’m going to do it anyway. It’s my body, and I’m tired of feeling bad about myself. I’m shooting for 5 runs this week. I’d appreciate any words of wisdom as I struggle to get started YET again….

I just stepped on the scale as I usually do first thing in the morning. I’m usually somewhere around 171, and today I’m at 174!! This is not good.

I went out for dinner last night and ate a WHOLE PIZZA. I mean, it was one of those thin crust things that’s meant for one, but it’s still just WAY too much food for ANYONE, let alone someone on WW!  I felt sick when I went to bed and I feel sick now.  This was the feeling that led me to WW in the first place. I realized that I was going to bed every night feeling sick because i was so full. It’s the worst! I don’t ever want to feel like that again.

I’m using the fact that I’m outrageously busy with school as an excuse to not work out, but the truth is, I have lost weight during exams before. It just takes a little planning, and it’s really not that difficult.

Here is what I need to do today (because clearly I need to take it one day at a time):

1. Exercise! I need to do the 45 minute Turbo Jam Cardio Party. I know that if I do this consistently I will lose weight. I know this because I’ve done it before. I managed to fit it in every single day.  I will get back to that routine. I want to be at a healthy weight before i finish school and my life becomes more chaotic!

2. Eat properly: I will NOT eat salty snack food or the leftover cupcakes that are in my fridge.  I have asparagus that needs to be finished, and I have cupboards FULL of healthy options.  I will cook every meal at home between now and my weigh in.

3. Do Physio: I need to take better care of my back. I should be doing a daily pilates and physio program to strengthen, but I haven’t been doing it. I am going to end up crippled if I don’t get my act together.

4. Rewards: For fun, I’m going to write down some things to reward myself with when I reach a goal. Clearly I need something to motivate me!

For some reason I’ve been on a dress-shopping rampage lately. I am an ebay addict and get a major rush out of finding a good deal. I just bought a spectacular royal blue diane von furstenberg that fits, but is SKIN tight. I need to lose the ponch around my stomach to feel comfortable in it. My other current obsession is the Black Halo Jackie O Cut Out dress. I’ve seen it on lots of celebrities and I just fell in love with it. However, it’s a little racy in that it has a cut out on the back, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the guts to wear it out. Anyway, I just bought it in a size 10- I got a GREAT deal on ebay! (story of my life). I have no idea how these dresses fit, but I figure if it’s too small it will be motivation (so that now brings the total to 3 designer dresses that I have for “motivation”. I need to get this under control!).  Here are some pictures that I found online of the many incarnations of the Jackie O Cut Out: The one I bought is the White top- blue band- black skirt combo.  As you can see, some people (mariah, i’m looking at you) have it altered to look like something a Julia Roberts would have worn in Pretty Woman, but I think it’s pretty cute when you keep the skirt knee-length.  I borrowed this great picture of all the versions of the dress from zimbio.com:

Clearly I need to stop shopping and only buy things as motivation. One of my many goals was to lose enough weight that I would have to buy new jeans. That hasn’t happened after almost a year on WW. That’s kind of sad. Although I am back into the ones that didn’t’ fit me when I started WW, so I guess that’s something.

I think I’m going to make my rewards list after I finish all my work today, so be sure to check back for it, and leave me some ideas, if you want!

I tend to do this. I will have a few decent losses, then my losses slow to somethign like 0.4, or I just stay the same. The good news is that I have accepted that this is what my body does, and I know I will continue to lose in the future. No point in fussing over it.

I need to start doing Turbo Jam again. It’s the only thing that is effective for me. New goal (since the jumping rope inside one didn’t go too well…ha!): Turbo Jam 4 times this week. 45 minutes each session. I can do this!
Am definitely excited about trying a weighted hula hoop. Since i’m going to be moving across the country in a few months, I think i will wait until I get home to buy one (just another awkward thing to ship!)  Remind me that I said this in May 2010, okay?

Btw, I wanted to send out a proper congrats to Tracy on her wedding and her 60 Lb weight loss! Tracy, you look stunning in your wedding photos! Your hard work really paid off- You look like a different person, but with the same big smile as always!! I’m so impressed and happy for you and your accomplishments.  Wishing you and your hubby a very long, healthy, and happy life together! :)  Everyone should check out Tracy’s blog- her photos are very motivating! :)  (Link is in my blogroll)

Have a great day!

So, I tried to make it 30 minutes yesterday, but only made it about 10. I had clearly forgotten how challenging jump rope is!  Will try again tonight. I guess all I can do is try to do a bit more each time.

Eatmyselfdead91 left a comment on my last post and suggested trying a weighted hula-hoop. What a great idea! Thanks for the tip- I’m going to look into that. One of my goals is to reduce my waist measurements (see my previous post about waist-to-hip ratio), and I bet that would be a great way to do it.

I really love to hear people’s tips and comments, so please feel free to comment if you have something to share!

My goal is to jump rope for 30 minutes for at least 4 days this week (up until my weigh in on wednesday). There’s really no reason why I can’t do that. I can find 30 minutes a day. I would also like to try to fit in 20 minutes of pilates. I used to do Winsor pilates and found that it really helped my core strength. I need to improve the condition of my back so that i can try running again. I’d like to start in the summer.

Apart from that, I need to do better when it comes to tracking. I used to be PERFECT at following the program. I need to get back to that place. Not really sure what happened, but i’m disappointed in myself for yo-yoing since i’ve been back, and I’m certain it’s been a result of my failure to track. I’m just SO close to my 10%, I NEED to get there before I go home for Christmas. 2.2 Lbs. This should not be this difficult.

Current weight: 171.2

2.2 lbs to 10%, and 46.2 to goal.

My goal for this week is to get back into my exercise regimen.  I want to work out at least 4 times this week. So close to my 10%- that should be motivation enough!

Update:

Okay, i just spent some time poking around other people’s blogs…It reminded me of how motivated I used to be. Why is it that some people can lose 12 lbs in a month and I can barely lose 5? I didn’t care, because at least I was losing consistently. I REALLY want to lose this weight. I want to be thin. I want to wear all the clothes I have in my closet that don’t fit me. I want to take care of my back. I want to wear that Diane Von Furstenberg dress to my graduation in April.  I don’t want to be the fat bridesmaid! I feel like i have this mental block about getting into the 160s. Why do I never seem to be able to do it? Why do I always get derailed at that point? I have one month before I go home for Christmas. There’s no reason why I can’t lose 5 lbs between now and then with some hard work. I need to stop being lazy. I need to get up, get my work done, get to the gym. I have a gym in my condo! I have no excuse!  I need to stop eating in restaurants, start being active again, and get re-focused. Enough is Enough. It’s time to get into the 160s and say goodbye to the 170s FOREVER.