Sour Grapes

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I’m in a mood today…

I really just want these exams to be over.  More so, I just really want to see the results of the hard work I’ve been putting in over the past 3 months.  I know that this is juvenile, but sometimes I get discouraged when I see other people’s results.  There are people on 3FC who started WW at the same time as me, and who have similar stats, and have consistently lost 3 or more lbs per week!  My body is just so uncooperative sometimes.  I just really wish I could start seeing a more consistent loss. I am happy to lose any weight, but it would be really nice to pick up the pace a bit.  I didn’t even get a big drop right at the beginning, like most people do.  My WW buddy has NEVER stayed within her points EVER. Not a single day since we started.  She yo-yos, but on the weeks where she does better, she’ll lose between 2-4 lbs! And, her high weight was 25 lbs less than mine.  I know I have to stop comparing myself to others. I am genuinely happy for others’ success, but I just wish that I could have a big loss to reflect the kind of effort I’ve been putting in.

I took some pictures of myself today to compare to a “before” picture.  I really didn’t see a difference.  I can’t believe that 11 lbs off my small frame doesn’t show.  My WW buddy says she thinks I look 20 lbs lighter, but I seriously can’t see it in the pictures at all.  I want to see tone! I want to see a smaller waist! I don’t want to see clothes looking tight! Grrr.  I’m not doing that again for a while.

I did my cardio party today.  My foot is hurting a bit, which is a drag, but I still made it through. I couldn’t believe how much I was sweating.  It’s actually kind of gross (and remarkable, because I don’t even sweat that much when I run.)

I’m thinking about checking out Chalene’s ball workout. It’s 2 dvds and a ball for $40.  I really need a new ball anyway, so it may just be worth it.  Has anyone tried this? Or any of the other Turbo Jam workouts? I’d love some input….

I just had vietnamese for dinner- vermicelli with chicken and vegetables. It was good, but now I feel like I overate. I’m still within my points for today, though…Everything else I ate was a “filling food”.

I was just on the 3FC forum reading about “Debbie Downers”.  You know, those people who always have a comment about your weight loss…”Oh, you’re on a diet AGAIN?”….”Oh, I’ve tried WW, it doesn’t work”….”Do you think you’re going to make it this time?”…..

I seriously can’t stand that shit.  It’s nobody’s business but my own if or how I choose to lose weight.  I don’t walk up to people and say things like, “oh, I see you’re doing something about your acne problem- do you think it will actually work this time?”.  Anyone who has ever had something that they’re insecure about should know how humiliating and incredibly rude that is.  I had someone call me “plump” to my face back in January, and then try to pass it off as a GOOD thing- like she was giving me a compliment! Um, maybe for some, not for me.  It’s not something I strive to be.  I was humiliated.  The thing is, I’ve been carrying around extra weight for so long now that people think this is just how I am.  They don’t realize that I’m actually a teeny tiny person underneath these 50 extra pounds. They don’t realize I’m built like my mom, who weighed 125 lbs when she was 8 months pregnant with me. When I told my friend that I was going to lose 62 lbs, she couldn’t believe it.  She thought I’d be under 100 lbs.  I guess it’s a good thing that I “carry my weight well”, whatever that means, but I don’t want to be the “plump” girl.  I want to be the lithe girl with the dancer’s body….that’s what I used to be, and that’s what I am underneath this.  I’m happy for people to notice, but I don’t need to be questioned about it.  People need to learn how to select the appropriate time and place for that kind of talk.

I have a classmate who is 5′10” and 130 lbs. She is the skinniest person I’ve ever seen. I would be surprised if she’s bigger than a size 0.  Anyway, she keeps sending me all these messages about how she’s so depressed because she’s gained 5 lbs since starting law school, and she REALLY needs to lose weight, etc etc.  Now, she is one of the few people who know that I’m actually actively trying to lose weight. It’s not something I advertise.  I wonder- what is it that she wants me to say?  I’ve told her that she could gain 20 more lbs and still not be overweight…I’ve told her that she’s still the skinniest person I know.  Her thighs don’t even touch! How “overweight” could she possibly be?!  I know that everyone has issues with their bodies, but pick your audience, people! Don’t act like losing 5 lbs (that don’t even need to be lost in the first place) makes you understand what I’m going through.   I actually need to lose weight for my health- this isn’t driven by some insane vanity thing. Honestly, you would laugh out loud if you could see how skinny this girl is…the whole thing is CRAZY.  I just need a break from all of this!

Sorry for the angry rant…It’s just been one of those days.  :S

I was out on my balcony today, watching people running their dogs in the nice weather.  I wish we were allowed dogs in our apartment- I’m desperate to get a westie!  As soon as I’m done law school and actually have time to train it, I’m getting one…Aren’t they SO CUTE?!

Westies bring me zen…I love them SO much.

I’ve been meaning to share another discovery with you- Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice Tea!  Or, Bengal Tiger Tea, as I like to call it…It’s spicy like Chai, but it’s naturally sweet. I’m telling you, you would SWEAR there was sugar in it, but there isn’t!  I think it’s the cinnamon…anyway, I love it, and I’m trying to switch it up from coffee every now and then…here’s a picture of the box:

It may be worth a try if you’re a tea person! BF is making me some right now… :)

Is it Saturday night already? Uugh.  The only good thing about this is SNL…

Back to work for me- hope you’re all enjoying your weekends!

A New AP Record

Filed Under General, Turbo Jam, Uncategorized, Weight Watchers | 2 Comments

Hi everyone,

I was feeling guilty for the past 2 days of inactivity. I know I said I was going to do AT LEAST the 20 minute Turbo Jam last night, but I didn’t….I just went to bed instead.  Sometimes I just feel like I need to catch up on my sleep so that I can be useful/productive.

Today I got up at a decent hour, did a grocery shop (lots of healthy pre-exam foods!) and then did the Cardio Party.  I was sweating buckets!  Last night I was on beachbody.com reading people’s turbo jam comments, and someone said that they had been doing the cardio party regularly. She had seen some decent loss,  but when she started the Turbo Sculpt she found that her body changed even more drastically.  So, after Cardio Party I did Turbo Scupt, too!  I was exhausted by the end, and scored some MAJOR activity points- 12!! This makes up for the past 2 days, and the 8 extra points I had consumed.

I was remembering my last exam period today…I can’t believe all the crap we used to eat.  Wendy’s, pizza, Chinese, Indian, fried chicken, EVERY NIGHT!! It was SO gross, and I didn’t even enjoy it. It was just out of convenience.  That kind of food makes you feel so sluggish and tired, so it’s just counterproductive in the end.  I’ve stocked up on veggies, ww pasta, chicken, etc, to get me through the next week.  Just think…this time next week it’ll all be over!  A scary and great thought at the same time.

Well, it’s official- BF and I are going to Vegas! We’re booked in at the Bellagio for 4 nights.  I am SOOO excited.  I’ve been to Vegas before, and it has been a lifelong dream of mine to stay at the Bellagio.  If you’ve seen Ocean’s 11, you know how opulent and beautful it is.  I especially love the fountains and pools, since I’m a water baby. In preparation I tried on a bikini that I wore this past summer, right after I got out of the hospital. I had been in for spinal surgery, and spent about a week on an all-morphine diet, so I was looking and feeling pretty good. Judging from the fit of my jeans then and now, I’m probably back down to about the same size.  Not feeling 100% confident but not feeling as flabby as I was 10 lbs ago.  Since I’m so short, 10 lbs can make a huge difference.  Anyway, the bikini didn’t look awful (i.e. the bottoms weren’t cutting into my hips, so I just may wear it in public.  I don’t really care who sees me there, anyway! I’m not out to impress, just out to be comfortable.  BF bought us tickets to see the Phantom of the Opera, too, so I’m super excited!  I’ve seen it in Toronto, London, and New York, so now I can add Vegas to that list! (As you can probably tell, I love music theatre- I used to do tons of shows back in my dancing days. I was probably a better singer than a dancer, even..)

So, the next challenge is to not gain weight in Vegas.  Possible? Maybe.  I’ve started doing some research online, checking out restaurants, etc. So far it looks like there are a lot of decent, healthy places to eat. Vegas does cater to anorexic celebrities, after all…. I’m planning to swim lots, walk lots, bring healthy snacks with me, and just try not to overeat. That’s really all I can do, I guess…

Must get back to my law books…

I’m leaving you with this amazing video of the Bellagio fountains. If you’ve not familiar with the hotel, it’s famous for its “Lake Bellagio”, a HUGE man-made lake out in front of the hotel.  Several times a day, they put on a spectacular light/fountain show, complete with music. If you check out youtube there are hundreds of videos of all sorts of different shows (they change the songs up every time).  This particular video is really cool becasue it was taken from a room at the Bellagio that overlooks the lake, so you get a really good view, plus you can see the Paris Hotel in the background, which gives you some context for how big this lake is!

Here’s the Youtube link: watch?v=CdpV0ebFHz8&feature=related

And here’s a photo of the lovely Bellagio!

Have a great weekend!

Thank GOD that’s over…

Filed Under General, Thinspiration, Turbo Jam, Weight Watchers | 2 Comments

Paper is done! :) :)

Now I can get back to the fun things in life…Like studying for exams. Yahoo.

I did the Turbo Jam Cardio Party again today. It was a bit better than yesterday, but I still was totally bagged by the end. I can’t believe that I actually like Chalene.  I thought she’d be SO annoying, but…I’m officially a convert! It is a really great workout, and it’s more fun than a lot of others I’ve tried. I definitely like that I get 6 APs for it!  I’m not sure that it’s more effective than something like the 30 Day Shred…the jury is still out on that one. I’m going to continue with my measurements, so I’ll keep you all posted.

I’m really interested in hearing what all of you do for exercise- do you ever do workout dvds? I have been compiling a wish list on Amazon. So far, I have: Biggest Loser Boot Camp, Biggest Loser Cardio Max (Vol 3), Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga, Jillian Michaels’ No More Trouble Zones, and New York City Ballet Workout Vol 2 (I figure since I used to be a semi-professional dancer I could handle the more advanced version!)  Right now I’m leaning towards the Weight Loss Yoga, but who am I kidding, I’ll probably order all of them eventually.  I’ve decided to actually make a list of rewards so that I have something to work towards.  Here’s my list:

- Any of the above dvds

- Dr. Brant Microdermabrasion in a Jar (if you haven’t tried it, do it.  Best money you’ll ever spend! Dry skin will be eliminated, guaranteed.)

- A magazine subscription (Shape? Fitness? Women’s Health? Weight Watchers? I love them all…)

- Fit Flops (If you’re not in the loop on these, check it out: www.thefitflop.com)

- Bath and Body Works Lotion (this is a big deal in Canada- we only have B & B in a few cities, and mine is not one of them.  I’ll be ordering my delicious Midnight Pomegranate body butter online!)

- A massage…in fact, I think I’m going to do this anyway.  I have benefits for another 2 months, and I intend to take full advantage of them!

What do you reward yourself with?

For some reason I’m feeling really motivated and encouraged about my weight loss this week. I’m really hoping that my body has clued in to what’s going on and that it will finally let the extra weight go.

2.8 lbs until I go down another notch on the BMI…I can’t wait. It’s SUCH a great feeling.  I think it’s even better than the number on the scale.

Tuesday is my day from hell…Looking forward to the end of the day when I can relax with some Biggest Loser! :)

Pondering…

Filed Under General, Thinspiration, Turbo Jam, Weight Watchers | 3 Comments

I should have titled this “avoiding work”, since that’s what I’m doing… I have written 15 pages now, so I’m taking a break! I think I deserve it :)

I’ve been stalking some vacation websites this week….I’m so desperate to get out of the Canadian winter! I’ve always wanted to go to Cuba, and there are so many great deals right now… I decided a while ago that I was going to go on a beach vacation when I reach my goal, but I really really reaaaaallllly want to go now! I really should wait. I think I’m just consumed with hating school and this is an easy way out.

I had a hard time with Turbo Jam today. I was exhausted! I think I drank too much water, too, so I felt a bit sick with all the jumping around. I made it to the end, though, and even did the Ab Jam. Yay me. I’m feeling encouraged after a few good weigh-ins, and I’m trying to use that to my advantage.

I’ve decided that my blog needs pictures, so I’m starting a new feature I’m calling “Thinspiration”. Today’s reason for working out: This super cute Victoria’s Secret bikini. I want to be wearing this on the beach at this time next year!
Can I order the body by express post, too?

I have resolved not to buy ANY clothes at all until absolutely necessary. I’m going to get to my goal, and I don’t want to waste my money buying a new wardrobe every time I lose 10 lbs. The only replacement jeans I’m going to buy are $40 Bluenotes, and ONLY when my other jeans are literally falling off me. I’m hoping that my shirts can last me for at least another 30 lbs. Then, when I get to my goal (125) I’m going on a crazy shopping spree in NYC. It’s going to be insane. Yes, I have a shopping problem, but I figure if I’m going to curb my spending until I reach my goal, I’ll have a lot of cash saved up :) Until then…accessories only!

Speaking of which, I’m currently obsessed with this shoe:

Too bad it’s impossible to find, not to mention I’d have to sell a kidney to afford it….someday! Until tomorrow, enjoy the shoe porn :)

On the benefits of exercise…

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Okay, so I have been having a pretty bad evening…  I’m not really sure why, but I’ve been feeling really upset.  I actually thought I might be having an anxiety attack.  I decided to get up and do Turbo Jam Cardio Party, which is 45 minutes of jumping around.  I feel INFINITELY better.  I guess I buy that whole thing about exercise and endorphins now….

I’m excited for dinner….we’re having soy burgers with homemade ww french fries.  Have you tried President’s Choice soy burgers? Delicious.  I’ve been experimenting with soy products a lot lately due to BF’s dietary restrictions, and I’ve found some really great products. In particular, I made the Orange-Beef stirfry from the WW 20 Minute Cookbook with faux beef strips. I thought it would be vile, but it actually tasted REALLY good.  Like VERY tender beef.  My super-picky WW buddy also loved it!  That stirfry is really great, by the way…if anyone wants the recipe, let me know and I’ll post it!

As I write this, I’m looking up the points for dinner… I was flipping through the Canadian Food Companion and “brioche” caught my eye…What I wouldn’t do for one of those right now!! So buttery and bread-y and delicious….But my whole wheat bun and soy burger will be great, too, right? Right?

Brioche…someday we shall meet again.  BF and I are thinking about going to Paris at the end of the summer.  I NEED A VACATION!! Let’s see…if I kept up my weight loss at the rate I’m going (averaged out to 0.9 lbs per week), I could be…..159 lbs by August…what a fabulous thought.  I don’t remember a time in my adult life when I was that light.  I would love it if my body would clue in and start moving a bit faster in the downward direction, but my 3 week plateau taught me that any loss is good.

I’m starving…it’s dinner time!

Working out > Essay

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I hate school. I really do.

I have an epic paper due on Tuesday which I (obviously) haven’t started yet.  I never thought I’d say this, but I’d actually rather work out.

Yesterday I did the 20 Minute Turbo Jam and Ab Jam.  It was surprisingly enjoyable, but I definitely didn’t find it as challenging as the 30 DS.  It’s more cardio, and I don’t find cardio as tedious as strength training.  Oh well, it’s nice to have a change.

I’ve had 3 meals out in the past 3 days…..probably not the best, but I’ve stayed in my points, so it’s not the worst.  If I’m going to eat out, I generally try to do it before Saturday- that way the extra sodium has made its way out of my system by my weigh-in on Wednesday.  I’m planning to stay in the rest of the weekend, so I hope I’ll be okay this week.

A few weeks ago I resolved to focus on the good instead of the bad….So, in that tradition, I only ate half of the wrap that I got for brunch.  I took the other half home and had it around 5pm, since I’m going to be eating late when BF gets home.   Before I started WW I would have eaten the entire thing…and I would have ordered it with fries instead of black bean soup.

I’m off to “jam”….have a great weekend, everyone! :)

Week 12 Weigh-In/30 Day Shred Roundup

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I am ecstatic!!  Down another 1.4 LBS!!

Total loss to date is 10.2 lbs, so I’m down to 176.8.  I got my 5% star and a 5 lb star today!  I feel like a child, getting so excited about stickers.  Today makes up for the terrible day I had yesterday.

I worked really hard this week, so I’m glad that my body cooperated.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t lose next week, though..that seems to be the way it goes!

I feel super accomplished having lost 10 lbs. I’ve fought hard for each and every one of them, too.  I only have to do this 5 more times, and then I’ll be at goal :)   That seems manageable, right?

I even got up SUPER early today to do my 30 Day Shred before my meeting, since I knew I wouldn’t want to do it later.  If I’m feeling really motivated I may do some turbo jam later on, too.  Today marks my 30th day of the 30DS!  So, here are my post level 3 measurements:

Waist: 38.5 (- .5)

Thighs: Left- 25.25 (-.25), Right- 25 (-.5)

Arms: Left- 12.4 (-.35), Right 12 (stayed the same)

Hips: 42 (-.75)

Bust: 38.5 (-1)

Neck 14.25 (-.25)

Total Inches lost on level 3: 3.6 (Total since starting WW: 9.6)

So, I started the 30DS on Feb 19th, and I’ve (obviously) take a few days off here and there- usually no more than 1-2 days a week.  I did each level for 10 days. Here’s the summary:

Starting Weight: 181.4 lbs.

End Weight: 176.8

Total Weight lost: 4.4 lbs (not exactly 20 lbs, Jillian!! But, I’ll take it…)

Total Inches lost: 6.2

That’s that!  On to the next adventure…

This month I’m doing Turbo Jam.  If anyone else has done this or wants to start, let me know! :)

The only bad news today is that I have to take a point off my daily target- I’m down to 24 now!

I had a daydream today about ordering a bikini from Victoria’s Secret and actually wearing it in public…wouldn’t that be amazing?!  I can’t wait.

My next 2 mini-goals are:

1) To drop from 31 to 30 on the BMI scale- 174 lbs- 1.8 lbs to go!

2) Total loss of 15 lbs - 4.8 more lbs to go!

7 point workout!

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I’ve reached a new personal best today…a 7 Activity Point workout!

Today I did day 7 of level 3 of the 30DS and then the 20 minute Turbo Jam Workout.  50 minutes of high-intensity = 7 APs! Wowza.  Good times, because I needed to make up for a couple extra points and the 2 days I took off last week.  Realistically, a 50 minute workout is not always going to be possible for me, but I figure that on the days that I feel like I can do it, I should just do it…that way it makes up for the days when I just can’t get it together.

Anyway, the 20 minute Turbo Jam, though only 5 minutes longer than the Learn and Burn, is considerably more difficult.  I am a dancer, and I was even having a hard time keeping up!  But I did find it to be a good workout.  I thought I’d find Chalene to be super irriating, but she’s alright. It’s the other cast members that are annoying!!  Call me cynical, but NOBODY loves working out so much that they have a Joker-esque grin plastered on their faces the entire time!!  Give me a break.

I decided to weigh myself today, just to see where I’m at. I NEVER weigh myself at home because I think it gives you a false sense of security if you’re down, or creates havoc if you’re up.  My WW buddy claims that she can lose over a lb in the course of a workout, so I was curious.  So, right after my workout, my scale read 176, which is 2.2 down from my last weigh in.  I’m not banking on this being my official WI result, but it made me feel good nonetheless.

We’re ordering in thai food tonight.  I have really been craving it lately. I tried to pacify it with my own WW thai curry, but as I mentioned yesterday, it wasn’t all that great.  We have a friend coming over tonight, so at least there won’t be tempting leftovers!  Everything in moderation….

In other exciting news, I’m currently wearing a pair of jeans that I haven’t been able to get into comfortably in 4 months! And, they’re not cutting off the bloodflow to my brain.  Yay :)

**Update**

Next time I want to gorge on thai food, someone please remind me that my new eating habits do not allow for such behaviour. To be fair, I didn’t binge, but I did have a little more than I should have and now I feel a little bit ill.  I think I probably ate near 25 points in that dinner, and I had 21 put aside for it.  Worth it? At the time, yes….now I’m afraid I may have ruined my week!  That would NOT be worth it.  My mouth feels dry, which means there was a lot of salt in the food…I hope I’m not still retaining water by Wednesday :S

The only good thing is that I know how much I used to eat, and I did NOT eat nearly that much….My judgment and control has improved a lot.  Let’s focus on the positive.

Another reason to stay on plan…

Filed Under 30-Day Shred, General, Recipes, Turbo Jam, Weight Watchers | 2 Comments

Big news! I just found out that I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin’s wedding.  I know all the other bridesmaids, and they’re all skinny-minnies…I will NOT be the fat bridesmaid!  This is just another reason to stay focused on my goal and stick with the program. The wedding is in February 2010, so that leaves me approximately 11 months.  If I continue to lose at the rate I’ve lost at so far (approx 4-5 lbs per month) I could be down 50 lbs!  That is a delicious thought, and definitely one I’m excited to work towards.

Well, I’ve been doing okay this week with eating. We had a party on Friday night and I had some junk, but I had the points and I really wanted that brie, so I don’t feel guilty.  Other than that, I’ve been cooking at home and sticking to the filling foods as much as possible since that seemed to work last week.  Tonight I made the cocounut chicken curry from the WW cookbook and some Quinoa.  Not going to lie- it wasn’t my favourite.  I guess I’m just picky because I LOVE thai food and this tasted like watered-down diet food.  Disappointing.  In the future I may add some more curry paste and just add in the extra points.  It definitely has potential, but it needed a kick of something….

I also made some soup.  I really like making soup on the weekend so that I have something really easy and healthy to grab for lunch.  Lentil soup is one of the easier/less labour-intensive soups that I’ve created.  Here’s the recipe:

In a large pot, sautee 3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped ginger (to taste- I use about 4 Tbsp), 1 diced onion, and a tsp of olive oil.

Add spices- I use coriander, cumin, turmeric, and chili powder.  I like spice, so i use about a Tbsp of each.

Add a can of diced tomatoes.  Add 2 more cans of water.

Throw in some extra veggies- i usually use carrots, but today I used celery and it works, too.

Add 1-1/2 - 2 cups red lentils.  Cover and simmer for approx 20 mins, or until lentils are done.

I’m not sure of how many servings it makes (a LOT!!) but it’s approximately 4 points per 1-1/2 cup serving. You can top it with a tablespoon of plain non-fat yogurt and fresh cilantro if you like.

In workout news, I have done my 30DS for the past 2 days after taking 2 days off.  I had pulled something in the back of my foot (I think it was the ‘mountain climbers’!) and also strained my thumbs on both hands (I’m guessing it was those plank leg-lifts).  I decided to take a time out until I healed.  Anyway, I’m back at it.

I received my Turbo Jam this week, so I decided to try out the “Learn and Burn” after my 30DS.  To be honest, I didn’t find it difficult compared to the other workouts I’ve done, but I did enjoy it.  I didn’t find Chalene to be as irritating as I thought she’d be, and I was able to pick up the moves very quickly. It’s definitely very dance-inspired.  It wasn’t until I woke up this morning that I really felt it!  My entire back was SO tense (in a good way), so I’m certainly convinced and looking forward to doing the full “Cardio Party” tomorrow.

I’m about to enter the most stressful time of the year for law students, so it’s more important than ever that I stick with this.  I can’t believe that I’ve been on WW for almost a full semester.  It really does just feel like a way of life now….

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