Eater’s remorse…

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Yikes.

I just stepped on the scale as I usually do first thing in the morning. I’m usually somewhere around 171, and today I’m at 174!! This is not good.

I went out for dinner last night and ate a WHOLE PIZZA. I mean, it was one of those thin crust things that’s meant for one, but it’s still just WAY too much food for ANYONE, let alone someone on WW!  I felt sick when I went to bed and I feel sick now.  This was the feeling that led me to WW in the first place. I realized that I was going to bed every night feeling sick because i was so full. It’s the worst! I don’t ever want to feel like that again.

I’m using the fact that I’m outrageously busy with school as an excuse to not work out, but the truth is, I have lost weight during exams before. It just takes a little planning, and it’s really not that difficult.

Here is what I need to do today (because clearly I need to take it one day at a time):

1. Exercise! I need to do the 45 minute Turbo Jam Cardio Party. I know that if I do this consistently I will lose weight. I know this because I’ve done it before. I managed to fit it in every single day.  I will get back to that routine. I want to be at a healthy weight before i finish school and my life becomes more chaotic!

2. Eat properly: I will NOT eat salty snack food or the leftover cupcakes that are in my fridge.  I have asparagus that needs to be finished, and I have cupboards FULL of healthy options.  I will cook every meal at home between now and my weigh in.

3. Do Physio: I need to take better care of my back. I should be doing a daily pilates and physio program to strengthen, but I haven’t been doing it. I am going to end up crippled if I don’t get my act together.

4. Rewards: For fun, I’m going to write down some things to reward myself with when I reach a goal. Clearly I need something to motivate me!

For some reason I’ve been on a dress-shopping rampage lately. I am an ebay addict and get a major rush out of finding a good deal. I just bought a spectacular royal blue diane von furstenberg that fits, but is SKIN tight. I need to lose the ponch around my stomach to feel comfortable in it. My other current obsession is the Black Halo Jackie O Cut Out dress. I’ve seen it on lots of celebrities and I just fell in love with it. However, it’s a little racy in that it has a cut out on the back, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the guts to wear it out. Anyway, I just bought it in a size 10- I got a GREAT deal on ebay! (story of my life). I have no idea how these dresses fit, but I figure if it’s too small it will be motivation (so that now brings the total to 3 designer dresses that I have for “motivation”. I need to get this under control!).  Here are some pictures that I found online of the many incarnations of the Jackie O Cut Out: The one I bought is the White top- blue band- black skirt combo.  As you can see, some people (mariah, i’m looking at you) have it altered to look like something a Julia Roberts would have worn in Pretty Woman, but I think it’s pretty cute when you keep the skirt knee-length.  I borrowed this great picture of all the versions of the dress from zimbio.com:

Black Halo DressBlack Halo Dress

Clearly I need to stop shopping and only buy things as motivation. One of my many goals was to lose enough weight that I would have to buy new jeans. That hasn’t happened after almost a year on WW. That’s kind of sad. Although I am back into the ones that didn’t’ fit me when I started WW, so I guess that’s something.

I think I’m going to make my rewards list after I finish all my work today, so be sure to check back for it, and leave me some ideas, if you want! :)

Measurements

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I was recently watching a show on tv about obesity and found out some interesting/disturbing things about myself. I did the test to find out if I am considered apple or pear shaped.  Turns out that I’m apple, which is the worse of the two to be.  I know that it’s worse to carry extra weight around your middle than your bum or thighs, but I didn’t realize that I fell under the danger category.  I’m a bit boxy around the middle, but I kind of attributed that to not having very wide hips (in terms of bone structure- this is certainly not to say that I can’t stand to lose some inches off my hips!) Anyway, the magic formula is waist divided by hip.  A result of 0.8 and below means you are pear shaped.  0.8 and above means you are apple shaped. According to health specialists, this waist-to-hip ratio is actually better than waist measurments alone, or even BMI measurments in terms of determining health. Anything above 0.8 is undesirable, and the further away you get from 0.8, the higher your risk for heart disease, cancer, and a host of other illnesses becomes. I figured it was time to face the music and re-do my measurements. Here goes:

Weight: 174

Waist: 39 (yikes)

Thighs: L-24.5, R-24.5

Arms: L- 12.25, R- 11.5

Hips: 42

Bust: 39

Neck: 14

BMI: 30

I still can’t believe that I wear size 32 jeans and my actual waist size is currently 39.  Vanity sizing much?  Anyway, my waist-to-hip ratio works out to 0.92.  Red Flag! I really need to work on reducing this number.  I’ll be adding this to my numbers to monitor as I lose my weight.

I’m having one of those weeks where the scale is NOT budging.  Not really sure what’s going on, because I’ve been eating really well. I think I just need to step up the exercise.  I know the next couple weeks will be difficult because I’ll have guests for 15 days solid. I guess I’ll just try to get as much walking in as possible.

Off to do my turbo jam, even though I’d rather take a nap…I’m thinking of starting the C25K program again…getting back into running would probably really help my weight loss.  Maybe that will be my goal for October.

Weigh-In, Week 2

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As I suspected I had a much smaller loss this week- BUT- I had a loss, so I’m not complaining!

I lost 1 lb this week, and that’s 1 lb closer to my goal. Meeting was great today- I had coffee with a really nice lady from my group after. She reached her goal last week, and she is very inspirational!  I am missing my WW buddy (she no longer lives in the same province as me) and so it’s nice to make some other connections with people who are doing the program.

I have been really good with working out this week. I did cardio party for the past 4 days in a row, and ab jam every day except last night.  I was hurting last night- i had a long day at school, and then I watched the premiere of The Biggest Loser, so my workout didn’t happen until midnight, but I still did it!  I’m really proud of myself, and I feel like I’m getting back into the groove.  The food is easy for me- I love cooking and I don’t usually get junk cravings.  It’s the workouts that I really have to make an effort to get into. I find that once I’ve done it for a few days, though, it becomes much easier. Today my leader told me that she’s running her SECOND marathon in Hawaii at Christmas….and she’s 60 YEARS OLD!! It’s pathetic that she’s in better shape than basically everyone I know (including me). She’s so inspirational…it makes me want to start running again! We have a treadmill in our building, so maybe I’ll give it a whirl this winter. It really has been the best exercise for me when it comes to losing weight. I’m just a bit hesitant to do it again because of the impact on my back…but I suppose I’ll just have to start slow.  But isn’t that amazing? Overweight to running marathons at 60. I want to be like her when I grow up.

So, here’s the sum up for the week: My current weight is 174, which is 13 lbs down from my original start weight and 3.8 lbs since re-starting WW 2 weeks ago. As I mentioned last post, my new goal is 6.2 lbs a month, which would allow me to reach my goal before I leave to go home.  That means I need to lose 2.4 more lbs this month.  Hope I can do it!!

49 lbs to go!

P.S. I’ve updated the some of the other tabs on my blog (my workouts, i can’t wait to…, etc.) so check it out! :)

Day 2 of the battle…

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Good news!  I managed to get my act together enough to work out again today.  I did cardio AND abs. Yay me! The only bad news is that i’m paying for my months of lethargy- my body is KILLING me!! I can barely move! Oh well-at least it’s a good pain. C’est la vie. My Greece Bikini Body isn’t going to come easily, but I know I can do it. Can’t wait for that day!

A small victory…

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I finally got my act together and worked out! I just did 45 minutes of Turbo Jam cardio, plus the 20 minute ab workout. It was hard…not going to lie….I can really feel how much muscle I’ve lost during the time I stopped my workouts.  I always do this- why do I never learn? It’s like starting at square one again. At the very least, at least I didn’t gain ALL of the weight I lost back- only 8 lbs.  After my *almost* 3 lb loss last week, I now only have about 5 lbs to make up.  As some of you know, my body makes no sense. I will do everything right and lose nothing one week, then the next week I’ll eat pizza and lose.  Like last week, I ate sushi and movie popcorn the night before my weigh-in.  Usually I retain water like crazy when I eat salt. So I eat 2 of the saltiest foods known to man and have my biggest loss ever?  Riiigh…that makes perfect sense.

I find that getting mentally ready to do the first workout after a break is the hardest part. Once I get back into it, it becomes just a part of my day. I hope that’s the case this time.

I recently read that people who weigh themselves every day are more successful in keeping weight off. I used to be 100% against this, because I think it makes some people (like my WW buddy) obsessed.  If she gained, she would FREAK out and work out 2x that day. If she lost, she would binge on junk.  Anyway, I recently downloaded an app to my iphone called “Lose it!”.  It’s free, and you can use it to input all your food, exercise, and goals. Since I count points, I don’t use the food/exercise function, but you can use the goal section to record your weight daily.  It’s just been a good way for me to keep focused. I’ve been weighing myself every morning as soon as I wake up. I have a feeling after my big loss last week, I probably won’t lose anything this week. But it does keep me trying!

I’ve been thinking about my goals (mentioned in my last post).  I really desperately want to reach my goal before I move home, because I want my current leader to be here when it happens.  To do that, I would have to lose 6.2 lbs per month. I know that’s not really all that realistic for me, since I lose pretty slowly. But, I’m really going to try my very hardest. My leader has been such a huge inspiration and support for me, I just really want her to be the one to present me with my keychain, or whatever it is you get when you reach goal.  If I can achieve that goal, I can meet my other 3 goals, too.  At that rate, I could be down to about 140 lbs by my cousin’s wedding.  I can’t even imagine it!!  6.2 lbs a month isn’t too outrageous, but it will mean a lot of hard work. I’m up for the challenge. 3.4 lbs to go this month.  Wish me luck!

Looong Weekend!

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Hi everyone,

It’s the long weekend and life is great.  I spent some quality time with my cousin (the one whose wedding I’m going to be a bridesmaid in), and tonight I’m off to visit my parents with my BF.  The weather is beautiful, I’m home sweet home, and I couldn’t be happier!

My job is going really well- I love my boss and my co-workers are great, and the work is really interesting so far.  I’m definitely getting more settled into my routine. I’ve done well with my lunches this week, and I think I’ve figured out a solution to my problem with being ready for lunch at 10:30 am.  The issue is that I leave for work so early, so I’ve been eating breakfast really early.  So, this week, I went to the breakfast buffet with BF and had approximately 1/2 a cup of plain yogurt with about the same amount of melon.  Then when I got to work I had some oatmeal with splenda.  That was enough to tide me over until about 1pm.  Then I’d have some carrots, soup, tuna and melba toast (spread out over an hour and a half or so).

I’m proud of myself because I’ve worked out on both Friday and today. I even did the ab routine today! I’m really doing my best to get back into the swing of things, and I think I’ll try to go for a run while I’m at home tomorrow.

We’re going out for Chinese food tonight- should be delicious (and extremely high-point) but I’m just going to take it a day at a time.

Happy Victoria Day to all the Canadians!  And to all the Americans, hope you’re having a great regular-length weekend :)

Slowly but Surely

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I’m getting back on track.  Thanks for all the kind support, everyone! It helps me to know that I’m not alone in facing these challenges.
This week I’ve moved to a new place, started a new job, and lost the ability to cook for myself since I now live in a hotel.  It’s a long story.  Anyway, there is a breakfast and dinner buffet included in my summer accomodations, but as you can imagine buffets are not very WW friendly.  The biggest challenge is that I can’t measure anything, so whatever I eat will be “eyeballed”, and that is never a good thing.  So, I’m doing what I can. I went shopping yesterday and bought some cans of soup, a bag of carrots, some melba toast, pitas, peanut butter, and some little cans of tuna- all things I can keep at work.  I made a peanut butter-banana-pita rollup for breakfast and ate it at work since I have been STARVING during the day.  Eating breakfast too early leads to hunger, which leads to over consumption during the day, at least for me. As for the dinner buffet, there’s not much I can do to get around that.  I’m just eating LOTS of salad and trying my best to keep portions in check.  Luckily I cook a lot so I have a decent idea of what a cup looks like, but still…not ideal.  Another challenge is that I am smack-dab in the centre of downtown in a city with some of the best restaurants in the world- many of them dirt cheap- right outside my doorstep.  My favourite thai restaurant is 3 blocks away.. oh the temptation. I’ve eaten there once already.  Hopefully I’ll be able to control myself this summer.  I know that I can have treats like that as long as it’s not all the time, and as long as I’m doing my exercise.  Which, (drumroll please) I actually did today! I just came home from work and got right at it.  I feel much better. I’ve only done Cardio Party twice this week, but it’s better than the past 2 weeks when I did it, um, never….

Tomorrow is Weigh In day.  I am not hopeful, once again. I know I don’t lose unless I work out, and I haven’t been doing that.  So, my goal is to not have gained a lot and to get right back into the swing of things this week.  Wish me luck!

Hope you’re all doing well :)

Operation 160s

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I’ve been having a few off days…not off plan, but I didn’t work out yesterday or today.  I finished my last exam today, and I never sleep well leading up to exams. But, I’m planning to sleep in tomorrow and then do a double workout to make up for my off days.  I’m feeling pretty guilty, but I honestly just didn’t have it in me today.  I’m totally exhausted!

I’m setting my sights on the 160s….I’m getting close enough that it feels a little more attainable.  I keep expecting the scale to just stop, but then I remind myself of how far I’ve come and how hard I’ve worked. I started my journey at 187lbs, and now I’m at 173.  I stepped on the scale this morning just to see where I’m at, and I hit 171!  That’s not an official weigh-in, but it’s nice to see anyway.  It feels like I’ve come a REALLY long way from 187…I have noticed that my cheeks are less puffy, and my fat jeans are looking ridiculous because they’re WAY too big. The jeans I bought over Christmas 2007 finally fit again, and are even a little loose in the butt and thighs! I can’t believe it.  I’m losing the dreaded muffin-top, and I’m loving every minute of it. There’s no better inspiration.

So, what am I going to do to get to the 160s?

- Focus on filling foods wherever possible

- Drink extra water

- Keep up my workouts (especially when I’m away from home!)

I would love to get there within the next 3 weeks.  Think I can do it? That’s just a little over 1 lb a week.  It’s going to take a lot of hard work, but I really want it.

So, I’m unexpectedly going to be going home to my parents’ house for 3 days. I leave on Sunday and I’m back on Wednesday night, which means I’m going to miss my WW meeting :(. I’m going to go to the one on Thursday, though.  I just really don’t want to miss my regular meeting, because I love my leader.  I’m planning to take my running shoes home with me so that I can get some cardio in.  There’s really nowhere in my parents’ home that I can do turbo jam, so this is a good opportunity to get back into running.  I’m going to make a new playlist for my ipod and just give it all I’ve got!  I also remembered that I have some 5lb and 10lb weights at home that I can use, so that’s good news.  I actually miss those weights- when I went away to school I could only take the 3lb ones because of baggage weight restrictions, but they would be really handy to have around…there’s only so much you can do with 3lb weights.

I’m also going to make my WW granola and some other WW food to take home.  As I’ve mentioned, I haven’t told my family about WW.  It’s not that I don’t think my mom would be supportive- I know she would! I just wanted to surprise her with the new and improved me, and I don’t really want her asking about it all the time.  I’m not sure if she’ll notice, but I guess I’ll tell her if she asks.

My mom is an amazing cook, but she uses REAL ingredients…cream…butter….flour….cheese….none of the low-fat stuff! This is probably because the most my mom ever weighed was 130 lbs when she was 9 months pregnant with me…Yeah….why couldn’t I have inherited HER body/metabolism?!  But anyway, I just don’t want to be tempted by all her delicious offerings…homemade bread….homemade jam….bacon from the butcher down the street…cookies…okay, enough! I have to stop. I want to lose weight more than I want to eat these things. Case closed.

So, I have that little trip to deal with, and right after that I’m off to Vegas! I can’t wait to go swimming outside…lots of walking, lots of shoe shopping…Oh, I can’t wait to go to the Christian Louboutin boutique…I CAN’T WAIT!  Let’s cross our fingers for a sale!

Hope you’re all doing well! Check in when you have a minute :)

Update: Okay, even though I vehemently oppose weighing every day, I was so excited by my 171 yesterday that I decided to step on the scale today again…and I’ve hit 170! I can’t believe that after skipping 2 workouts in a row and eating a huge sushi feast last night that I hit that number. The 160s are so close I can taste it…

Week 13 Weigh-In

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1.8! Woohoo!

When I think about how I used to eat during exams, it is SHOCKING to me that I’ve lost… I’m very happy!

I have 2 exciting things to share-

1) I’m down another BMI point! I’m now at 30, hovering between “obese” and “overweight”

2) I’m down a total of 13.2 lbs, which means I’ve FINALLY caught up with my goal of losing 1 lb per week!

My new weight is 173.8, and I’m 1.8 lbs away from my next goal of 172 (15 lbs down from start weight).  4.8 lbs from my 10%!

I have to say, I really credit turbo jam for my progress over the past few weeks.  I really feel the difference.

I think it’s time for some measurments, too…

Waist: 37.75 (-.75)

Thighs: Left-24.75 (-.5), Right- 24.75 (-.25)

Arms: Left- 12.5 (+.1), Right- 12 (same)

Hips: 41.5 (-.5)

Bust: 38.25 (-.25)

Neck 14.25 (same)

Total: -2.15 inches

Overall total inches lost: 11.75

I seriously can’t wait until I get to my 10%…and the 160s! It’s so close I can taste it…Please keep cooperating, body…PLEASE!!

49 lbs to go…

P.S. I’m currently wearing my “skinniest” jeans…the ones that I haven’t been able to fit into for 6 months or so…and they’re actually comfortable!

Things are looking up…

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One exam done, one to go!

I am exhausted.  I didn’t sleep well last night…never do before an exam.  I have no idea how it went- my prof is so flaky that it really could go either way.

Today was day 10 of Turbo Jam!  I’ve tried all of the workouts now, and my definite favourite is Cardio Party Mix 1.  I’ve gotten the hang of it now, and I find that it’s a really good mix of exercises.  Plus, it’s a CRAZY good workout- I have never sweat so much in my life! I always thought that I didn’t have 40 mins to workout, but really it’s not that much more difficult to find 40 mins than it is to find 20.  I’m loving the cardio party and I’m really feeling it in my arms! I’ve been using the “turbo gloves”…those hook punches make my arms burn.  It’s a great balance because it’s not too difficult when you’re doing it, but you feel it after.  I especially love the cooldown at the end of Cardio Party- it’s SO relaxing! I also like the 20 minute workout, although I haven’t done it for a while since I’ve been opting for the longer one.  My one objection to the 20 minute is that it doesn’t include “the wheel”, which is one of my favourite moves- great for toning the waist!  I did the Punch, Kick, Jam for the first time yesterday, and I have to say- not my favourite.  It is much more difficult to follow and I didn’t enjoy the routine as much.  PKJ is supposed to be more intense than Cardio party, but I found the opposite.  There’s a weird capoeira break in the middle that doesn’t really fit, and it really brought my heartrate down.

Overall, Turbo Jam is money well spent for me! I obviously don’t follow their eating plan or use any of that other crap that they sent with the dvds, but for 5 workouts and the gloves, I’m very satisfied with it. I definitely feel like it’s making a difference in my body, especially my legs.  Not sure if this is a result of general weight loss, but I feel like everything is tightening up.  As I mentioned before, I’ve been especially devastated by the discovery of cellulite on my legs, as they were aways the one thing on me that I was more or less happy with.  Although I haven’t seen a huge difference in measurments (I measure right around the biggest part, at the top), I feel like I see improvements.

So, as usual, I did my post-Biggest Loser last chance workout tonight in anticipation of the week 13 weigh in tomorrow.  Now I’m all hyped up and awake, and can’t sleep! Wednesday morning always comes too early for my liking.  I relish my sleep-ins. I’m NOT a morning person. Sometimes I scare myself with how unpleasant I can be in the morning!!

I hope my weigh in goes well tomorrow.  I’m still trying to do a catch up to meet my 1 lb a week goal.  Last week was week 12, and I was at 11.4 lbs lost.  So this week, I would have to lose 1.6 to get to my 13 week goal. Probably won’t happen, but these days I’m happy with any loss.

I was thinking today about my cousin’s wedding next year- I’m SO excited! I can’t wait to wear a bridesmaid dress and not feel awful….I have another wedding to go to this summer, so I’m hoping to be down 30 lbs by then- that would put me at 157.  If I reach that goal, I’ll buy a new dress for the occasion.  I honestly can’t remember the last time I was in the 150 zone.  If I could achieve that, I would be in good shape for my goal of losing 40 lbs by January 2010 (this was the goal I came up with when asked to do so at a WW meeting).  Although I’m not a fan of putting dates on my goals, I think my ultimate goal is to lose the 62 lbs by my graduation from law school in May 2010.  I think it’s do-able, provided that my body continues to cooperate.  Sometimes it likes to get mad at me (like those 3 weeks that I maintained…) but hopefully we have an understanding now!

Most of all, I’m looking forward to shocking my friends and family.  I want jaws to hit the floor. I can’t wait. I’m going to do it this time, and since I never see them it’s going to be even more shocking than if they were around to watch me lose the weight.

Updates on Weigh-In tomorrow!

I leave you with this, my dream dress…Herve Leger… someday, when I reach my goal and have the income of a lawyer and not a law student, it shall be mine…

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